Chance
by mrandmrsstabler
Summary: If you had the chance to win back what you lost would you take it? How far would you go, to protect the ones you love? How many men would you kill? A hundred? A thousand? What would you risk to be happy? How many steps would you take? How many sacrifices would you make- if you had the chance? The first few chapters suck, soldier on! (After S12 With surprise guests and twists)
1. Old Wounds

Olivia sat in the doctor's office in complete silence. Her fingers were firmly pressed against the skin on her legs as she tried to fight the quick tears falling from her eyes. The painful events of that morning now haunted her like the dark memories of her childhood. The first thing she could recall was waking up and feeling the sharp pinch of someone stabbing her from the inside out. Then going to the bathroom to discover that within a matter of seconds she had become a bloody mess. _Knock knock._ In one quick swipe she removed any visible tears and sniffled before saying, "Come in."

Olivia hated doctors but right now, it wasn't her doctor that she hated, it was the news he was bringing that she wanted to kill. "How are you feeling?" He asked as he removed his white plastic gloves and threw them aside.

"Tired." The doctor looked at her as if he could somehow understand what she was going through which made her feel even more uncomfortable. They sat in silence for a moment until Olivia couldn't take it anymore and she started to gather her things.

"Olivia..." She refused to look at him. "You know we can always try again."

"Yeah," she pulled on her coat and stormed out the door, feeling a sudden rush of grief and weakness with each stride she took. She was almost out the door when she remembered she left her cell phone in the room. She turned back around and crash collided with a small woman.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," she said as she kneeled to gather the fallen things. They picked up her things together and as they both came up they made eye contact. The girl gave a small smile but didn't say anything.

"Take care," Olivia whispered, while choking back on tears. She was walking away when the girl called out.

"Wait!" Olivia turned around. "Olivia." She was taken back. _Did she know this girl?_ "Don't you remember? I'm 219, your 218." Olivia stared at the girl half stunned and half surprised.

"Callie Woodland from 218?

The girl nodded with all smiles. They hugged one another.

"God its been ages!" Olivia said trying to put a smile as big as Callie's on her face. It had been years since Olivia had seen Callie, in fact it had been so long that when ever she thought of her, Olivia had often considered Callie to be a figment of her imagination. Once the best of friends, Callie had lived across the hall from Olivia and her mother and had often been there for Olivia's consoling when ever something had gone on between she and Serena.

When they were living together, Olivia thought of her as a sister. Callie whom was equally neglected by her working parents, had thought the same of Olivia. Together, they were some sort of a family- dependable, loyal, honest and caring. Even at night behind locked doors they found ways to communicate with one another and as time passed they became inseparable but like all good things, their seemingly surreal idea of friendship had come to an end when Callie's family moved to Philadelphia and left Olivia behind.

"I know absolutely! I can't believe I'm seeing you now, it feels like it was only last week we were arguing about Jackson Wincott."

"I haven't thought about Wincott in years."

"He's doing so well now. He works with my husband at his firm. Tell me, how are things with you, what do you do now?

"Actually I'm- well I work in the police force. I'm special victims unit."

"That's great. It must be so exciting going out there and finding the bad guys."

"It has it's ups and downs, but what about you. Look at you, you look great. How far along are you?"

Callie soothed her swollen belly, "8 1/2 months now. Roger can't wait to meet him."

Olivia stared at her with a sudden change of mood. "May I?"

"Of course!" Olivia was hesitant but she laid her hand on Callie's stomach.

"Is this your first time coming to the clinic?" Callie asked looking down at Olivia. She smiled, Callie always had a way of telling whether or not Olivia was lying or not.

"No," she said while shaking her head.

"Don't worry honey, it will happen soon enough."

"Don't come out to soon, little guy." she whispered. Callie's phone began to ring.

"Hello?...Yes. I'm on my way." Olivia backed off when Callie got off the phone.

"Liv, I want us to hang out soon. We should get to together sometime."

"Absolutely. Any time."

"Especially when the baby comes, they don't say it takes a village for no reason." They exchanged numbers and then in a flash she was gone.

* * *

Olivia walked into the station almost two hours late. The fact that her cell phone was dead didn't make things any easier either. She sat across from Fin who dropped the work he was doing to speak with her.

"Where were you?" He asked concerned.

"Doctors." she said while she logged into her computer.

"Everything all right?"

"I'm fine."

"The only reason why I'm askin' is 'cause it's Thursday. Busiest day of the week."

"What do we got?"

"Young girl, seven years old, her name is Michelle, says her dad's been giving her more than a back rub after softball practice."

"I'll take care of it," she said turning away from the computer screen

"No need, Amanda and Nick are on it."

"Ok," she responded annoyed. _What was he getting at?_

_"_Liv, it's been two months now."

She ran her fingers through her hair and down her face distressingly. "Fin, this is not about Elliot."

"Uh-huh. You whisper Elliot's name in here and you light up like the fourth of July. I don't like that he's gone any more than you do but it's for the best." Olivia was fighting the urge to lash out when Cragen peeked out of his office.

"Benson, in my office. Now," Olivia got up and walked in, closing the door behind her.

"Sit down." she did.

"You want to explain why you're late?"

Olivia shrugged her shoulders.

"It's the fourth time this month Liv."

"I know," she said as she tried to distract herself with other things in his office. Cragen got annoyed with the lack of attention she was giving him. He stood up and threw his pen on his desk and stood directly in front of her.

"Hey look you find this job is to much of you because your partner left. Fine, then turn in your badge but don't waste my time and don't waste our victims'.

Fin almost fell through the door when he gave the news. "Hate to break up the family reunion but we gotta a rape victim down town in an alley. Victim's pregnant."

Cragen and Olivia exchanged glances. "We'll finish this later," he said as Olivia walked out of the office behind Fin.


	2. Suspect

When Olivia and Fin arrived on the scene a bus was already there carting the victim away. Fin was already talking with one of the police officers on the scene when Olivia got the attention of one of the paramedics.

"How's our victim?" She asked as she ran beside them.

"She's unconscious. Possibly from the head injury. No signs of harm to the baby, but we'll know better once we get her to the E.R."

"BP levels are stable, take her in!" A paramedic announced. They loaded the victim into the car and sped away leaving Olivia in the middle of the street.

"What did you get?" She asked as she and Fin got in the car and followed the ambulance.

"Victims in her late thirties. Name is Callie Woodland-" Olivia's foot stomped down on the breaks and the car came to a sudden stop.

"Damn, what is this grand theft auto?"

"Callie Woodland? Damn it!" She said as she hit the wheel.

"You know her?"

The car went into reverse and sped off into the opposite direction in full speed.

"You must know her." Fin said as he watched her drive like a complete lunatic.

* * *

Olivia pulled up in front of the hospital, threw her keys at Fin and ran out of her car into the Emergency Room. She was out of breath when she made it to the receptionist desk. She showed her badge. "I'm looking for a Callie Woodland."

The nurse took her time as she searched the check in sheet. "You said woodland?"

"Yes! Woodland!"

The nurse stared up at her from her glasses as if to indicate that she didn't like Olivia's tone of voice. "Sorry, no Callie Woodland here."

Just then the paramedics rushed in and carted a new patient into the hospital. Olivia recognized the paramedic she had spoken to earlier and followed him until they pushed Callie out of reach. She stood by outside and watched as doctors crowded around Callie's unconscious body. She watched until there was nothing left to see. When she turned around she saw Fin sitting down on the farther end of the hallway. She sat next to him and tried to stay calm.

"Liv, what's going on?" Fin asked handing her a bottle of water. She started to cry hysterically. Fin rubbed her back, while Olivia tried to pull herself together.

"She used to live across the hall from me when I was younger...we were best friends." She started to laugh through her tears. "She used to tell me I was the most beautiful girl in the whole world, after my mother and I would get into fights. We understood each other Fin. We promised we would always be there for each other." She said starting to cry again.

"So what happened?"

"She moved and I never saw her again. We would exchange letters but she stopped sending them after a while. Then I saw her this morning at the doctors office...and she wanted to get together but I had work. If I had said something she wouldn't have..." She fell on Fin's chest and cried, he hugged her awkwardly. Elliot was better at it than he was.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know, I just...wish I would have kept my promise." Fin handed her a tissue and they parted from one another.

"Detectives?" They looked up and the doctor was standing in front of them. "She's conscience now, if you're here to take her statement you can go in. Her husband is on his way, if you want to stick around and see him too."

"I'll go." Fin offered.

"No, it's ok. I want to do it."

Olivia held her breath as she walked in the hospital room. "Callie?" Callie's eyes looked up at Olivia and closed for a moment.

"How did you know?" she said as she forced herself up.

"This morning when we talked, I told you I work with the special victims unit."

"I don't feel so special." It was quiet for a moment.

"Callie, do you remember anything about what happened to you?"

"When I left the clinic, my husband called again. He wanted me to pick up some chocolate milk for his nephew. He's visiting us this weekend...I went to a deli.

"Do you remember what it was called?"

"Johanssens?" Olivia scribbled some notes on a piece of paper.

"It was such a nice day...I remember thinking that when I left the deli...and then he- he came from behind. The rest is blank"

"Did you notice anything about him? Height, eye color, maybe something he was wearing?"

"No...he was wearing a really nice shirt though. I recognized the material. Roger likes his shirts to be really soft, so I take them to the dry cleaners once a week."

"Which one?"

"It's a preppy place in Greenwich Village, um...Fitz and Clark on seventh." Olivia's beeper went off.

"Alright. Your husband is on his way. I'm going to take this back to the station...don't worry Callie I'm going to catch this guy."

* * *

Back at the Precinct Nick and Amanda were wrapping up their case when a tall slender blonde woman entered.

"Can I help you?" Nick asked.

"I'm looking for Detective Stabler or Benson," the woman said as her eyes searched the room.

"Stabler resigned, Benson's out on call."

"Stabler resigned? When...how?"

"I take it you guys were close."

"Cabot?" Alex looked for the familiar voice. Munch was walking towards her surprised and excited to see her.

"My god, how've you been? I'll take it from here Nick."

"I turn my back on you guys for a moment and I'm missing a right arm," she said jokingly.

"Stabler? Yeah, job finally got the best of him. What are you doing here?"

"I'm back in town for a few days, I need a case."

"Yeah of course. Olivia's got one on a seven month, pregnant woman who was raped this morning," Munch said as he dug around her desk.

"Got any leads?"

"A few actually."

"Keep me posted, you know where to find me."

"You're not leaving already are you?"

"I'll be back, I've gotta go talk to someone about getting my old office back for the gig. It won't be the same without it."

"Ok, I'll tell Liv you stopped by. I'll talk to you soon Alex!" He called out to her as she left the unit.

* * *

**JOHANSSENS DELI**

"Do you work here?" Olivia asked. A young man who was stocking shelves, turned around and saw her holding a police badge.

"Yeah."

"Do you recognize this woman?" Olivia asked showing him a picture of Callie.

"Oh yeah, that's hershey."

"Hershey?"

"Yeah, woman came in here dying for Hershey Chocolate milk. I figured it was a pregnancy craving."

"She come in with anybody?"

"No, but her cell phone kept ringing. She said it was the dry cleaners."

* * *

**FITZ AND CLARK DRY CLEANING**

"You Mrs. Fitz?" Fin asked strolling in to the dry cleaners and showing his badge.

"No I'm Mrs. Clark," and old woman said behind the counter.

"I'm Mrs. Fitz," another old woman said from behind Fin. She too went behind the counter holding several orders from other customers.

"Do you know a Callie Woodland?"

"No, never heard of her." Mrs. Fitz said.

"Oh, shut up Renee. He's talking about Woody." Mrs. Clark intervened.

"Oh yes, Woody. Is she alright? Such a sweet girl...one of our regulars." Mrs. Fitz said smiling.

"Which one of you handles Woody's order?" Fin asked getting impatient.

"Neither of us do. Renee's son handles all of her orders. Charles has grown very close with Woody."

"Charles and Woody ever go out?"

"No, Charlie's a good boy. He knows Woody's married." Mrs. Fitz said politely.

"You mind if I talk to Charlie?"

"Sure go right ahead. He's in the back, I'll tell him your here."

"I got a better idea, why don't we surprise him. Fin said as he went behind the desk.

"Charles Fitzpatrick, you back here?" Fin called out as he looked between jackets and shirts.

"Yes!" A voice called out.

Fin saw him on the other side of the rack.

"I'd like to speak to you," Fin announced, showing Charles his badge.

Charles stared at Fin then sprinted through the dry cleaners. Fin rushed to catch up with him, tripping over shirts and blouses. He called Olivia who was waiting outside and notified her about the situation. She jumped out of the car as Charles sprinted out of the dry cleaners. She ran behind him and chased him down to an alley with a dead end. Fin came behind her with hand cuffs and they arrested Charles while siting his Miranda.


	3. Surprises

Charles Fitz was a tall, middle aged, handsome man in his late thirties. His dark hair was perfectly gelled and brought out the green color in his eyes. He was a quiet guy- especially around women, so when Olivia came to interrogate him he was so nervous he felt like he was going to puke. Having Fin in the room was his only outlet.

"So Charles," Olivia began. "Where were you this morning?"

"I was at work," he said trying not to look in her eyes. Olivia showed him the picture of Callie.

"Have you ever seen this girl before?" Olivia asked sarcastically. She was playing him the way she played all the other perps that sat in Charles' seat. She could tell he was lying which made her even more frustrated.

"No."

"Really, that's not what your mother says." Charles didn't say a word. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"

"I don't know what your talking about."

"I'm talking about your friendship with Callie. How you thought that her saying good morning to you was a personal invite to get in her pants and today was your day. You got yourself all dolled up, extra cologne on your skin."

"What are you saying?"

"We got your phone records Charles. You called Callie twice this morning. You waited for her to come to the dry cleaners and then you followed her after she came to pick up her husband's shirts. You followed her to the deli, you waited for her to come out and then you raped her. "

"I didn't do it! I- I don't have to say anything to you."

"Listen up kid, you don't start talkin' now, you got yourself a reserved seat at rikers, fifteen years minimum and believe me, ain't no body keepin' it warm," Fin chimed in.

"What do you want to know?" Charles said, cracking under neath Olivia's stare.

"You can't start by telling the truth." Olivia scolded, in a low voice.

"How do you know Callie?" Fin asked.

Charles sighed before he continued.

"I didn't do this...I...loved her and she loved me."

"Right. Do you think that about all the women you rape or just Callie?" Olivia asked dismissing his words as false statements.

"Hey, I didn't rape anybody! I called Callie this morning because we were supposed to see each other this evening."

"What were you guys going to do, pick flowers?" Olivia teased.

"We've been seeing each other for almost a year now. We were supposed to meet each other at The W."

"Why'd you run?" Fin asked starting to believe his story.

"Fitzpatrick isn't exactly an American name." Charles said, beginning to talk with a thick Irish accent.

Olivia wanted to grill him, and she would have if Cragen hadn't knocked on the door.

"Fin, Olivia, I need to have a word with you."

Fin and Olivia left Charles in the interrogation room and sat in Cragen's office.

"He's not our guy. DNA from the rape kit doesn't match Charles'"

"You've gotta be kidding me." Olivia said suddenly exhausted from the situation.

"Liv, you said you saw Callie this morning, where at?"

"At Storks."

"Isn't that a fertility clinic?"

"Yeah." Olivia responded instantly feeling uncomfortable

"Alright, let's see if we can get a paternity test on Callie's baby. Maybe the biological father wanted to get into the family picture," Cragen suggested.

* * *

Callie was getting her things together when Olivia walked into her hospital room.

"Callie?" Callie jumped at the sound of Olivia's voice.

"I'm sorry...you just scared me."

"Callie I have to ask you a few questions about the case."

Callie sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Olivia to say something.

"Callie, is Roger the father of your baby?" Callie shook her head. "Who is?"

"I'm not sure...I was desperate. I wanted to give Roger a family but it wasn't working, so one of the nurses suggested that I should try using a donor...it worked."

"Did you tell Roger?"

"No. He wanted everything to be as natural as possible."

"Callie, I know this is a hard time for you, but I think you need to find out who the father is."

"Why?"

"Because I think he might have been the who attacked you."

* * *

Olivia walked into the station on edge. She hadn't even noticed Alex sitting in Elliot's old seat when she sat down.

"Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned." Cabot said eyeing Olivia. She turned around and looked at Alex and for the first time that day she smiled.

"I can't believe your back," Olivia said when she hugged Alex.

"Why don't we go somewhere where we can talk."

Alex and Olivia went upstairs and sat in the lounge.

"Hey Munch, you running that DNA through the system?" Olivia called down.

"I'm on it." Munch responded.

"So, tell me everything. How've you been?" She asked as she handed Alex a cup of coffee.

"I'm hanging in there. How are _you?" _

"I'm fine."

"No your not. Cragen sent me. He wants us to talk Olivia." Alex said with endearment. Olivia was silent, she just sipped on her coffee.

"There's nothing to talk about." Before Alex could argue Munch came running up the stairs. Liv, we gotta match. You're not going to believe who it is."

"Who is it?" Alex asked suddenly intrigued.

"Elliot."

The news hit Olivia in the face. Her spine cringed at the sound of Elliot's name. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"99.9 percent positive. That's Elliot's baby."

"Should we bring him in?" Alex asked surprised at how their conversation took an unsettling turn.

"No need. He donated that DNA. I should speak to Callie again," Olivia said breezing through Munch and practically flying through the door.

* * *

**That was an interesting twist right? Okay so now Elliot's baby is the number one priority. E/O is coming really soon. Be prepared. Any predictions? Sorry if there's any typos btw, it's Chistmas...I'm entertaining hahaha.**


	4. Almost

**The chapters are going to start getting a little longer so it isn't annoying to go through so many of them. I really appreciate all of your feed back, it's been wonderful having your support and amazing to write for some of the characters! I don't think I mentioned this before but I don't own SVU or any of it's characters :) The story is pure 100% fanfiction. Enjoy the next chapter!**

* * *

**CALLIE WOODLAND'S APARTMENT**

It was snowing as Olivia and Alex waited outside Callie's apartment. Alex had insisted on going with Olivia, for support and because she wasn't sure if Olivia was mentally stable to pursue the case now that Elliot was involved.

"Remind me again why we're here?" Alex asked still not understanding why they had to speak with Callie.

"If Elliot's the father of that baby, and Charles' DNA didn't match with the fluids we found in Callie, I'm betting it's the husband."

She knocked twice already, and rang the the doorbell twice as much as that. When Callie opened the door Olivia could tell she'd be crying.

"Callie this is Alex Cabot she's a DA. Is it all right if we come in?" Callie nodded and let them in.

As Olivia and Alex came inside, they both noted how profoundly immaculate Callie's apartment was. The place in no way looked like it was prepared for a baby. It's modern design made it feel cold and lonely.

"Can I get you guys anything to drink?" she said while pulling out a few glasses. Olivia stared at her a moment knowing all to well the look in her eyes. It was the empty glance of pain and weakness. How many times had Olivia seen the same look in her own eyes, especially after Elliot left?

"No I'm okay." Alex said as she sat down at the island in her kitchen.

"Olivia?"

"No thanks." Callie poured a glass of water for herself hoping to hide her discomfort.

"Is everything ok Callie?" Olivia asked.

"I told him everything...about the donor. He got so angry." Her voice faded into tears.

"Did he hurt you?"

Callie laughed. "I wish he did...he filed for a divorce. He's leaving me."

"I'm so sorry." Olivia said quietly.

"No, please don't be. I always knew Roger was a bastard." They were interrupted by the microwave alarm and when Callie turned around to fill her empty cup there was a flash of sound echoing broken glass. Before Olivia and Alex realized what had happened, Callie was on the floor squirming in pain.

Olivia rushed to her side and saw a gunshot wound on her chest.

"Oh my god." She took off her jacket and propped it under Callie's head. Then used both her hands to put pressure on the wound. "Alex call in a bus. Address 5757 Park Avenue!" Alex ducked under the island and dialed the police with shaky hands.

"Liv...Olivia." Olivia looked down at Callie who was struggling on the floor. "The baby. He's coming." The baby was coming. Now, there was blood spreading at the foot of Callie's body.

"Alex!" Alex peeked over the other side of the island, then swiftly crawled over to Olivia and Callie.

"The baby's coming. I need your help."

"Whatever you need." Alex said as she pulled her hair up.

"Keep pressure on the wound." They're hands swapped positions and soon Alex's fingers were caked with blood like Olivia's. Olivia got between Callie's legs and took a deep breath. She lifted up Callie's dress and pulled down her underwear.

"What are you doing?" Alex yelled.

"I have to get him out. He'll die if I don't." Olivia said as she propped Callie's legs. "Callie on the count of three I want you to push. 1...2...3..." Callie groaned in pain as she pushed with all her might."Again!" Olivia coached. Callie pushed harder this time. Olivia's face went cold as she felt spurt of fresh warm blood fall out onto her arm.

"Olivia, it's too much. You're killing her."

"He's almost there. Hand me that towel." Alex frantically looked around and found the towel hand from the stove. She threw it at Olivia who caught it with one hand. Callie pushed again without Olivia's assistance. When she peered between Callie's legs, for the first time Olivia saw the little boy as his head strained to come out. She held the towel out for him to slide on to as she ordered Callie to push just one more time.

Callie whimpered out a small cry releasing her son out just enough for Olivia to grab. She pulled him out on to the floor then frantically searched the drawers for a knife or scissors. Her eyes swam over seasonings, and cooking equipment until she found the scissors under a pile of spoons and spatulas. She cut the cord between Callie and the baby and wrapped him up in the towel.

Callie's body went unusually still as the fight for her life began.

"Just hold on, you're doing great," Alex whispered as tears swelled in her eyes. Olivia handed Callie the baby boy for her to hold. "He's beautiful." Olivia said smiling at how much he looked like Elliot.

"You're...you're a lawyer right?" Alex nodded her head. "Olivia take care of him. Make sure Olivia takes care of him...my will it's in the office." Callie said as she gasped for air. Alex looked at Olivia and nodded at her. Once again they swapped positions while Alex ran through the house looking for the office.

Her mind raced as she recalled passing it the moment she walked in to the apartment. She ran into the room and turned on the computer. She pulled out drawers and looked through papers...she found it.

"How's she doing?"

"She's fading in and out." Olivia said as tears streamed down her face. Alex noticed Olivia's hands shaking.

"Callie can you hear me?" Her eyes softly fluttered open. "You have to sign this paper," she said while pulling a pen from her pocket. Callie took the pen in her hand and gently signed the paper. Alex went over her signature to make it appear stronger then hid the will in her brief case.

The ambulance busted through the doors of the apartment.

"We're in here!" Olivia called out. The paramedics ran into the kitchen and pushed Olivia aside. They took Callie's baby as they checked her pulse.

"She's gone." The paramedic said.

"What? No." Olivia said as she tried to stop the information from processing in her head. She knelt beside Callie and started to slap her unconscious face. "Callie! Callie, open your eyes!" The paramedic tried to pull Olivia a way but was pushed and hit back by Olivia. "No, no no. Callie wake up! Please open your eyes."

"Olivia," Alex said as she effortlessly grabbed her into her arms. She was to hysterical to fight Alex's grip. The two of them sat in the mess of the kitchen as they watched Callie's body being taken away.

* * *

**ONE WEEK LATER**

Olivia, Alex and sat in Cragen's office. A few days ago, Callie had died and after a relentless search for the shooter, Fin had found Roger Woodland camping out in a cheap motel out of town. Olivia got him to confess to everything. The rape, the murder, his attempted plot to kill Charles Fitz and his motive. Roger couldn't bare the thought of raising another man's baby and he couldn't bare the thought of Callie carrying another man's baby even more. The whole ordeal had set time bombs off in his head, as Wong had described it.

Now just a few short hours after his prosecution, the three of them had to decide what would happen to Callie's baby. Alex had already proven Olivia had sole custody, it was the Elliot part that they couldn't settle down about.

"What should we do?" Cragen said standing up after their brief small talk. His tone of voice made it seem like their discussion was serious but in reality he was worried about Elliot. If they told him, how would he take the news? Is he ready to take on the responsibility of being a father? No doubt, if and when he found out he would be pleased to know that Olivia was raising the boy and if they didn't tell him or at least make an attempt what would that mean for Elliot. Sure he had his own children to worry about but they were provided for. In reality, Elliot had every reason to give up on his life and turn into a waste of good morals. If they waited to long he would inevitably become a reflection of what was.

"We should find him," Alex blurted out realizing that she had broken Cragen's train of thought. "I think we should find him and tell him. He has a right to know."

Olivia flinched as her eyes wondered to the sleeping baby in the car seat at her feet. His little head rested on his neck, she smiled as his arms moved as if he could feel her admiring him. She remembered when she first received him at the hospital yesterday. He had been crying uncontrollably until the nurse laid him in her arms. "Your a natural," she had said. The hospital had released him to her a half an hour later. She remembered the feeling of relief she had when they handed her his birth certificate. After so many years of wanting a child, finally she had one and his name was Leo, after a child hood story she Callie had loved to read when they were younger. Now here he was in Cragen's office a spitting image of Elliot.

"Liv, what do you think we should do?" Alex said interrupting her thoughts too.

"I'll find him. Your're right, he has a right to know."

"Alright, you and Fin track him down. I want Munch, Nick and Amanda on any new cases we get. I'll call in some old friends from upstairs and see if they can help. Liv, why don't you take maternity leave and spend some time with the baby. I'll take your place until you come back." She nodded as Cragen opened the door for her and Leo. Alex walked behind them.

"I'll call you if I hear anything," Alex reassured her.

"Thanks for everything Alex, you really don't know how much I mean it." She hugged Alex and smiled as Fin approached them.

"Just look what the wind brought in!" He said as he leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. He was immediately distracted by Leo waking up in the car seat. "Hey little man." Leo's eyes fluttered open and he looked around the room before looking at Fin. He started to wine before breaking out into a fit.

"I better get him home. Believe me, when he's hungry he's got a temper identical to Elliot's."

"Yeah, I would get on that if I were you, kid looks like he's about to explode on ground zero."

When Olivia and Leo got home she fed him instantly. She loved how easy he was to please. He mostly just liked to be rocked. She quickly got into the habit of humming to him to help him sleep. It was a lesson she had learned earlier that morning, when he woke up in the middle of the night, wanting to be fed. When she heard him crying she woke up frantically alarmed. She rushed into his bedroom and scooped him up in her arms. "It's ok. Mommy's gotcha." She took him into the kitchen wrapped up in his blanket, and they waited together as the formula warmed on the stove.

After she burped him the old rocking trick was history. She tried walking back and forth with him, but nothing worked. After a few minutes she started humming to him and for the first time her apartment was quiet accept for her voice. She had stopped to see if he was sleeping but quickly realized he was still agitated when he started to stir on her shoulder. She sang again, and was happy to know that he had settled down once more. She sang to him around the apartment until he fell asleep. Needless to say he would be up in another hour, but Olivia couldn't help but think she was doing something right.

She held Leo in her arms as he sucked on the bottle she had given him. She looked down on the coffee table in front of her at Elliot's last case. Everything from Jenna's dead body to Elliot's statement. She decided to start with home first. She picked up the phone and dialed Kathleen's number.

"Hello?" The young voice had answered.

"Hey Kathleen it's Olivia."

"Oh, hi Olivia what's up."

"Kate have you spoken to your dad lately? I have to speak with him, it's really really important."

"The last I heard from him was two days ago."

"Did he say anything about where he was?"

"No, only that we'd be seeing each other soon." Leo, fidgeted with the bottle under Olivia.

"Ok, do you know where I can reach him?"

"No, every time he calls, it's from a different number." Olivia let out a deep sigh ignoring the tears swelling in her eyes. "Olivia is everything alright?"

"Yeah, just the next time you speak with him would you tell him I'm trying to reach him?"

"Of course."

"Ok, sweetie, I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye Olivia," she hung up the phone and called the precinct. Cragen answered.

"Benson."

"Find anything?"

"Keep an eye on Kathleen and Maureen's cell phone. I just got off the phone with Kate she says that she and Elliot are planning to meet up soon. You guys should be on stand by."

"Sounds good, I'll spread the word."

"Call me if you hear anything."

"I will."

Finally off the phone, Olivia gave her attention to Leo. His eyes were closed as he took periodic sips of milk. Finding out that Elliot had been keeping in touch with his kids and not her hurt. Sure as a father he had an obligation to them but if he was man enough to call his kids then he was man enough to call her. He was the man she had worked beside for thirteen years. They had been together case after case, horror after horror, she had been there for him when he divorced Kathy and helped the kids cope with the change. So what was so bad about her? What had she done or more importantly what hadn't she done?


	5. Strangers

Olivia woke up to the loud ring of her cell phone on the coffee table. She readjusted Leo who was still on her shoulder and answered the phone.

"Benson."

"Olivia, you were right. Elliot called Kathleen again, they're meeting at Derick's tomorrow at 5. Can you be there?" The volume in Cragen's voice alarmed her.

"I'll be there." She dropped her phone in the seat as she stood up. She put Leo in his crib and cleaned her apartment while she still could. She was eternally grateful for everything her friends had done at the whim of Alex when she told them that Olivia was adopting Leo. They had all come together and bought her things for the apartment; a crib, toys, diapers, bath and table sets, etc. She was so lucky to have friends like that but she couldn't believe how in a matter of hours her apartment was turned upside down to make room for Leo.

She had emptied most of the contents of her bedroom into the living room and resorted to sleeping on a bare mattress. It was not a likely compromise, so she had arranged for an appointment with a real-estate agent at the end of the week. After about an hour of tidying up she finally sat back and poured herself a glass of wine. She started to think about seeing Elliot again after so long. She didn't know how to feel. The thought of seeing him again made her smile, but there was also a feeling of guilt as well. Why had she waited this long to make an attempt to find him? And how will he react when she tells him about Leo?

The thoughts raced around her head until she closed her eyes again. The next day, as Olivia got dressed and warmed Leo's milk a knock was at the door. She opened it, and smiled as Alex and Casey stepped into her apartment.

"Woah, hot momma," Casey teased.

"You look you're going to get laid." Alex chimed in laughing.

"Is it to much?" Olivia asked suddenly conscious of the casual red dress she had slipped on.

"No, it's perfect." Casey said laughing too.

"Thanks again for coming guys, I could really use an extra pair of hands."

"No problem, it's my pleasure. I think I'm the only one Leo hasn't met yet," Casey said as she dropped her bags next to the door. "Where is the little bugger, I heard he's got Stabler's temper."

Olivia smiled as she thought about her little boy. "He's in the bedroom. The diapers are under the changing table, the formula's in the fridge, and there's some milk heating on the stove. I don't use the microwave so don't even look at it. All be back in an a hour or two."

Alex pulled out two bottles of wine and a bottle of champagne. "What is that?" Olivia grinned with a concerning stare.

"Don't worry this is for the after party, we won't get drunk on the job mom!" Casey informed as she walked into Olivia's bedroom.

Olivia kissed Alex's cheek then Leo's and Casey's when they came back out.

"I'll be back guys. Try not to burn down the house!" she called out as she left the apartment.

Olivia sat in her car, across the street from Derick's as she waited for Elliot. She was texting Kathleen the entire time reminding her not to inform her father that she was coming. Both she and Kathleen had been waiting close to an hour when Elliot appeared outside of the diner. When Olivia saw him, she could barely recognize him, in fact if it hadn't been for his stride and his hair cut she didn't think she would have recognized him at all. Before entering the diner Elliot had looked around his surroundings and for a just a moment stared in Olivia's direction. She got the sudden feeling that he could see her, in the car but was discouraged when his eyes wondered again and he finally entered the restaurant.

Elliot was casually looking for his daughter when he heard her call out his name. "Dad! Over here." He turned around and saw Kathleen sitting in a near by booth. Kathleen stood and hugged her father.

"Hi, sweety. It's good to see you," he said in a hushed tone. He sat in the booth across from her and watched her as she did little things like straighten her shirt and fix her hair. It took everything in him not to cry at the table.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

"Nothing sweetheart, I've just missed you."

"Yeah right, you spend all your time visiting Maureen."

"That's not true," Elliot said frowning.

The waitress came by and brought some water for the table. "Do you guys know what you're going to order?" She said as placed three glasses on the table.

"Um, two cheese burgers and two vanilla milkshakes...is that ok with you katie?"

"That's fine thanks," she nodded.

"Yeah, that'll be all."

"Ok, I'll be out with your orders shortly." The waitress said smiling. As she skated away Elliot attempted to stop her.

"What is it dad?"

"She gave us an extra water."

The blood drained from Kathleen's face. "Uh -no! No, she didn't. I asked for two." Elliot looked at her suspiciously.

"Honey if you want more water you ask for a refill not another glass. Someone else could use it."

"No dad really. I have...hyper...hydration," Kathleen said trying to sound as normal as possible. It was fail. Elliot knew something was up.

"Your mother's here, isn't she?"

"Not exactly."

"Kathleen," he sighed, "We agreed that tonight would be just us."

"I know dad, it's just-"

"Olivia?" Elliot had caught sight of Olivia walking towards him. Instantly a sore knot formed in his throat and it made it hard for him to swallow let alone breathe.

"Kathleen," he said her name again but this time he was angry.

"It's not her fault Elliot. I asked her to do this." Elliot's mood didn't change, if anything it got worse. "Kathleen why don't you go order me a milkshake, I have to talk to your dad."

Kathleen slid out of the booth and let Olivia take her seat.

"Is this mine?" Olivia asked as she grabbed the full glass of water. Before she could reach it, Elliot had smacked the glass down on the table spilling water everywhere. A few witnessing waiters came over and cleaned off the table. Elliot waited before they left before he spoke.

"What the hell are you doing here Olivia," the aggression in his voice threw her off guard. She looked at Elliot who had grown surprisingly thin. In a matter of seconds his eyes had gone from warm to hostile. She spoke softly and slowly.

"We have to talk."

"You wanna talk, come to me, not my kids!"

"That's pretty hard to do, seeing as though your kids are the only people you talk to."

"Why are you here?" Olivia couldn't believe the aggravation she heard in his voice. He was deliberately pushing her away and now he wouldn't even look her in the face.

"I hope you like vanilla Olivia," Kathleen said reappearing at the edge of the table.

"Kathleen go away." Elliot commanded. The look on Kathleen's face was upsetting Olivia.

"Could you just give us a few more minutes Kate," Olivia pleaded. Kathleen nodded and walked away.

"Elliot." He wouldn't look at her. "I'm here because you're a suspect in a recent case."

"I didn't do anything."

"I didn't say you did. The victim was pregnant with your baby Elliot." That got his attention.

"What are you talking about Olivia, I haven't been with anyone since the divorce." Olivia started to get annoyed that she had to explain everything to him.

"She was going to a clinic."

Elliot shrugged, happy to get over the situation.

"I was young, I thought I was making a difference in the world. So what, almost fifteen years later they decide to see what's cooking with my DNA and it's my problem. I'm sure that girl is happy to have a baby."

"That girl is dead." Olivia waited for him to say something, if not show some sign of expression or feeling.

"She died in childbirth after she took a hit to her chest. She gave birth to a boy, Elliot."

"Where is he?"

"She was a friend of mine, she gave me legal guardianship." Elliot laughed at that.

"Of course she did."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't play stupid Olivia. As soon as you found out that baby was mine, you did everything in your power to get your hands on him. What? You think I don't know about your sick, twisted fantasy about how I'm just supposed to roll over play house with you Olivia? Well guess what, that might be ok for you but I don't buy it!" Elliot yelled to make his point.

Olivia could feel hot tears sliding down her face. She was embarrassed and the look Elliot was giving her sent chills up her spine. "Ok Elliot you win...I'll leave," she said as her voice cracked.

"No. Don't. I've lost my appetite. I promised by daughter dinner tonight and you damn well better give it to her." He spat as he got up and put on his coat.

Kathleen could see Olivia crying and her father leaving. She walked over to her and asked, "What happened?"

"Nothing, your father and I just...lost a friend. He didn't take it well." Kathleen looked at her half disbelievingly. "Why don't you sit down, our food will be here soon."

* * *

By the time Olivia got home it was late. After dinner with Kathleen she had driven her home and now she was relieved to be in her own home. The whole ride she kept thinking about Elliot's words, each one was a blow to her face with an unbearable sting. She hadn't expected Elliot to react the way she did, and now she thought it would have been better not to tell him...and those things. Those horrible things said. Where had he gotten any of that from?

It was true, she had loved Elliot unconditionally- more than any man that she'd ever known. It was only sometimes, that she thought about them being together, but she never actually thought that they would. She and Elliot were from two different worlds. She was a broken down, lonely, middle aged, single, workaholic, desperate to be mommy and he was a raging, hot tempered, unethical, egotistical, over protective maniac. There were no two people more incompatible than she and Elliot Stabler.

Not having Elliot by her side hurt like knife in her back, and knowing what he truly thought about her was just about enough to kill her. Her keys jingled as she put them in the door. She knew she would have to put on a show of Alex and Casey to keep them from worrying, but she didn't know how long she could act. She was just so tired of everything.

When she opened the door Casey was knocked out on the couch and Alex was up with Leo looking out the window. Alex turned at the sound of Olivia who was giving her a warm smile and was ready to take Leo in her arms. Without taking her eyes off of her she handed over the yawning baby. She wasn't entirely sure how she expected things to go between Olivia and Elliot that evening, but she had specifically stayed up and sober to find out.

She studied her best friend's warm features in attempt to get some clue as to what happened. Her languid curves had filled the modest dress with life and grace. Her usually olive skin tone had turned an unusual red, as if to suggest that her skin was tender and swollen with emotion. Her soft curls had fallen into restless waves and as Alex peered into her dark eyes she could detect a strange sadness in them. Yet, even though Olivia hid it behind a quiet smile as she changed Leo's diaper, Alex had seen that particular look in her eyes before.

Since the day Olivia had been delivered the news that Elliot would no longer be returning to SVU, every expression became dull and serious. The light- the only hope in Olivia's world had simply vanished, as if it never was and now here it was again- burning with carnal ferocity. Alex recognized it from the day she first met Olivia, and she saw it to the 100th power every time Olivia was with Elliot. She couldn't decide what any of it meant. She didn't even know where to begin, luckily for her, she didn't have to.

"How was he?"

"I think it's safe to say that Casey should be married to her job and her children come in a variety of merlots and chiantis." Olivia scoffed at that thinking about how her friend had promised to wait for her. "He was great Liv, you've got him on a nice system for him to be so young." She smiled at her complement.

"You really think so? It usually takes a while for most babies to get comfortable with their new surroundings."

"No, he's seems pretty happy, especially with you around. He must really be a Stabler. Speaking of Elliot, how'd it go?"

Olivia paced herself for the conversation as she put Leo in his crib.

"It was good," she lied.

"Really?" Alex seemed surprised.

"Yeah."

"Well, what did he say about Leo?"

"He was surprised. He said he donated when he was younger. Honestly, I think he was completely caught off guard."

"Did you tell him that you're taking care of the baby?"

"Of course I did."

"And?"

"Honestly, he didn't look like he was in any position to raise a kid...and he's gotten really thin."

"Do you think it's PTSD?" Alex said as she sat on the edge of Olivia's mattress. Olivia hadn't thought about that possibility, in fact in a way in kind of made a lot of sense and explained his delusional outburst at the diner.

"Maybe," she responded feeling the grief coming up in her chest. Alex could feel her tension.

"Hey, it's for the best. I'm sure he'll come around, Elliot can't be that big of a prick." Alex joked. The two of them talked some more over coffee until the night hours got the best of them. Olivia thanked God, she heard Leo first as she got up from bed and left Alex with only one pillow.

Her first instinct was to feed him, but he wasn't hungry. She rocked him for a few minutes but that didn't work either. Finally she resorted to humming and when that didn't work she was forced to strap him to her chest and go out for a walk in the frost of the night. As soon as they got in the elevator she felt better about him crying, she could deal with it, it was her friends she was worrying about. Leo continued to cry for the next two hours.

As she gave up and started to walk back home, she bumped into Fin and Munch at one of the deli's around her way.

"Hey guys, what are you doing out so late?" Munch asked slightly drunk.

"I can't get him back down," Olivia said as she gently hugged Fin.

"Let me try," Fin offered. Olivia looked at him for a minute before deciding whether enough he was competent enough to hold a nearly two week old baby.

"I had two beers, it takes a lot to screw with my head. I wouldn't argue with you if Munch offered." Olivia laughed at Fin and surrendered. She had nothing to lose. Fin pulled Leo, from Olivia's warm embrace and held him close for a few minutes. "What do you say we walk you guys home? He should be out by the time we get there."

"I'd like that," she said as she dragged Munch along. Fin and Munch walked Leo and Olivia all the way to her doorstep. Fin handed Leo to Olivia as carefully as possible before kissing them both goodnight while Munch started to pass out in the hallway.

"Good night guys!" he whispered.

When Olivia put Leo down, she stood over his crib and rubbed his tiny features as if to sooth him a little more. She didn't understand what had gotten into him. She was pulling his blanket over him when she realized what he wanted. It was the one thing she couldn't possibly provide...a father.

Thirteen stories below and outside her window, he stood looking up at her apartment. He watched her lights go out, and his old friends come out of the apartment building. "I'm sorry," he had said, but his words fell on deaf ears.

* * *

**WOW that was fun to write! Are you guys pissed off at Elliot? Good. Coming up, we're gonna skip a few months of this whole ordeal to get to the good stuff. Hoping to update before the end of the day. I haven't exactly decided how to end this whole thing properly so if there are any suggestions hit me up, comment or something. Having so much fun writing this! See you guys in a bit with a new chapter.**


	6. You Again

**A YEAR AND A HALF LATER- And this is what you missed; Alex is back at SVU Olivia hasn't seen or heard from Elliot since that day in the diner. Even though he's completely walked out of her life, she hasn't neglected to tell Leo the truth about his father when he asks. She finally moved out of her apartment and is living in a townhouse about twenty minutes away from the precinct. Sorry about the gap, if you want me to tie up some other details let me know. **

Olivia and Leo sat across from Alex and Cragen as they ate lunch. Leo was busy coloring a disastrous picture for his mother while she talked about an open case with Cragen. Alex was back in town and the distasteful idea of a 22 year old boy being gang raped to death didn't settle well with her main course.

Thankfully Cragen changed the subject for them. Olivia and Alex laughed at Cragen's terrible date jokes as someone watched them from afar. The stranger smiled at the familiar sound laughter particularly _her laugh. _For a moment he felt crazy enough to approach them, but the moment was lost, when they suddenly gathered their things and left the restaurant.

He left his tab on the table and followed them. Keeping a distant he watched her load him into the car and pull away after saying goodbye to her friends. Now it was his turn to watch the one he loved leave him behind for far better than worse.

* * *

Olivia dropped Leo off at her house with Julia her babysitter, before leaving for work again. When she got back in her car a black Nissan further up her street, pulled out and followed her. Arriving at work, she walked in all smiles still thinking about her son and the time spent with Alex.

"Somebody's in a good mood! Spread the love," Fin teased.

"I don't know. Today's just...a good day."

"A guy was gang raped and died, Liv." Fin laughed. "I hardly call that a good day."

"I'm serious," she said sitting down at her desk. "I have a good feeling about today."

"What ever you say. Hey, are you coming tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Olivia said as her attention refocused onto the file on her desk. This case was gruesome she realized, suddenly understanding why Alex had been so sensitive at lunch. She and Amanda took on the case for the rest of the day. Until it was time for her to go home and get ready for the office party.

When she left she ran into Alex again with Casey.

"Where are you two hooligans running off to?" she asked walking towards them.

"The party starts in fifteen minutes, why aren't you dressed?" Casey responded almost disgusted that Olivia was still in her uniform for such a fun night.

"Casey, the party doesn't start for another two hours," Casey grinned.

"Olivia, sweetheart if you knew me at all, you'd know that party begins at five a clock." Olivia snorted a laugh at Casey's wild side.

"Why don't you guys come back with me, while I get ready. I'm having trouble deciding what to wear."

"Sure whatever, as long as it's not something with a badge and a firearm attached to it," Casey teased.

When they got to her place Olivia was pleased to know that Leo was still down for his nap. She pulled out a few dresses from her closet and tried the first one on as Casey and Alex sat in her bedroom. The first dress was white, it hugged and complemented every curve of her body, and had a nice v-neck.

Casey giggled as she sipped her wine. "Olivia Benson if I do say so myself you are turning me on." Olivia rolled her eyes and waited for Alex to give her a serious opinion.

"You're going to your office party not the club!" she said laughing also. The next dress is best described as the little black dress.

"I like it," Alex said straight on.

"Sure for a grandmother," Casey said not quietly enough. The next one was gold. It came down on Olivia right before her knees. The sleeveless dress brought out the color in her hair and eyes and coincided with her skin tone.

"Wow," was all Casey could say.

"That's it, that's the one. I will prosecute your ass if you don't wear that dress!" Alex said with a wide smile.

"Ladies...we have a winner!" Olivia screamed jumping around in her room. It took her about a half hour to properly get ready. When she came down in her heels with flawless makeup, Casey swore she had just had an orgasm looking at her. They left together for the party, all excited to finally relax after such a tough season.

"Oh, damn." Fin had said when he first saw her enter back into the precinct. She laughed at his stupid complement.

"Olivia, you look beautiful," Cragen said when he leaned in and hugged her. They were interrupted by the sudden pop of champagne in the room. Casey held the bottle filling everyone's glasses to the top.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are celebrating a new year of badass law enforcement and I would like to personally thank the the people responsible. To Cragen, Liv, Fin, Munch, Alex and the two rookies who think they know what they're doing." Everyone laughed at her joke so it wouldn't be insulting. "No seriously, Nick, Amanda glad to have you on SVU. It's not always easy to do this job, but it's worth it, especially during times like these." She raised her glass. "To making it worth while." She swallowed the whole glass down, before looking at Nick in the eyes. "Dance with me rookie," she urged. Everyone laughed as she swung her arms around Nick.

The night wore on to drunken laughs and lousy dancing. By the time eleven a clock rolled around, Olivia was ready to leave. She kissed everyone goodnight and left with Fin behind her. He walked her to her car, and watched her safely drive away. Once she was home she sent Julia on her way thanking her for everything.

She checked on Leo before going to her own room. She was taking off her shoes when she heard a knock on her door. She looked at her clock, before wondering who it could be. She grabbed her keys before walking down the steps to open the door. She unlocked her door and opened it to see who it could be and when she did she dropped her keys.

"Elliot?"

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN! SURPRISE OLIVIA! STAY TUNED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. WILL SHE LET HIM IN? WILL THEY FIGHT? WILL THEY HAVE HOT STEAMY SEX? WILL HE SEE LEO? WILL THEY FALL IN LOVE? WILL THEY ACCUSE EACH OTHER OF HURTING ONE ANOTHER? I DON'T KNOW, ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT THIS STORY IS TAKING A SERIOUS TURN DOWN THE MATURE RATED LANE. SEE YA!**


	7. A Dangerous Affair

Olivia's first instinct was to slam the door in his face, but she was honestly surprised at his presence on her front doorstep.

"Can I come in?" he asked, not waiting for her to answer. He swiftly walked into the dark house and sat on her couch. Olivia realized how easily he was walking over her, and it made her mad.

"What the hell are you doing here Stabler." He looked like he just stepped out of the men's department. His fresh suit carried a quiet hint of cologne and his face had a fresh shave. He looked a hell of a lot healthier than before. He gained some weight back and he regained his form again.

"I want us to talk," he said softly.

"You had your chance, now leave. You know where the door is, see yourself out."

"Olivia, please don't do this."

"Elliot, I don't want to hear it! Get out, of my house."

Elliot stood up and grabbed her by the waist. Before she knew what was going on, his lips had hers locked in a kiss so deep, she couldn't think about pushing him away. Unfortunately for him time had gotten the best of her and he could feel her pushing him away. When their lips unlocked she slapped him across his face.

Elliot sighed and took his time. Careful not to set her off again. "Liv, just please, let me talk."

"Oh, ok. You want to talk? Let's talk about why you left."

"Olivia-"

"No, come on Elliot. You want to chit chat? You want to come in here and walk all over me again? Is that it?" Olivia questioned as her voice escalated and her eyes burned with the gentle rage Elliot knew so well. Elliot put his hand on her shoulder but she hit him away. "Don't touch me!"

"Liv, please."

"Please what? Please come back? Please listen? Elliot you left. Not me. You walked out. I called you every single day wanting to talk, ready to listen. And you? You-"

"Olivia would you please just shut up!" Elliot yelled. She did. He paced back and forth and tried again, "I was trying to-" , but the words hadn't come out right. Then there was silence and Olivia was getting annoyed.

"Ok. You know what Elliot. I'm done. You clearly are in no condition to be doing this right now. I don't understand why you're here but you need to go." Olivia said as she turned into the safety of her home.

"No! I am not leaving!" Elliot announced with a rigid voice filled with anxiety. He pulled her wrist and yanked her back into the foyer. "Don't you get it! I'm- I'm tired of leaving. I'm tired of waiting for next time. Why won't you just come back to me? Don't you see? Don't you see what I'm trying to say to you?"

"No I don't see. All I see is your empty desk every time I walk into work. All I see is your son every morning and the emptiness in his eyes because his father isn't here to teach him things that I can't. All I see is a pathetic, worthless, no good, joke of a man trying to excuse the damage he's done."

"I'm no good?" he asked with a gentle smile.

"You have five minutes and then I want you gone. Not away. Gone. Don't come to my house. Don't come to the precinct. Don't call anyone you might think I may be in touch with. Gone Elliot."

He looked down on the floor as if he was ashamed to tell her the truth. "I couldn't...take it back. No matter how hard I tried. That bullet wouldn't...come back. At first I thought I could just forget about it, if I left. So I did, but it only made it worse. Soon all I could see was Jenna's face. She was just a girl Olivia...and I started to run. The life I was living, the man I had become, it wasn't something I was proud of. I didn't...I didn't want you to see me that way. So I stayed away from you. When you came to me that day at the diner, I was angry because you did. You saw right through me and when I left, I wanted to take everything I said back, just like that bullet." he explained as he walked towards her carefully.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Because I want to fall in love with you, because I'm in love with you. That whole time I was away I felt guilty because you were all I thought about. I spent my time with the kids ashamed that they weren't my first priority and all the while, I kept thinking about you and the baby. At night I would dream about seeing you again, and when ever I woke up I prayed to God that it was real."

He was directly in front of her now. "If you want me to go...I'll leave and Liv I won't come back. I deserve it. Just tell me, please would you do that. Just tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me, that you feel the same way. Tell me that you love me, or tell me that you don't." He said leaning in closer to her lips. Olivia let a tear fall from her eyes, as she felt Elliot's lips touch hers again. This time his kiss was soft. As soon as he felt her lips respond he broke the kiss and slammed her body against the wall. He kissed deeply into her neck and listened to Olivia moan as she let out gasp.

She peeled off Elliot's jacket, and unbuttoned his shirt. He kissed her lips again as his hands gripped her waist and then slid up her thigh. His fingers quickly found her warm and wet. He plunged two fingers inside of and groaned when she pulled his head down to rest on her body as his arm lifted her up on the wall. There was nothing but breathing between them The steady rhythm of his fingers moving in and out of her was slowing pushing her over the edge.

"Don't stop," she whispered- she begged. Elliot pushed his fingers pushed his fingers in harder and faster. Her breathing turned into a pant. "Elliot, you're making me-"

"Do it. Do it now." She dug her nails into his back as she cried out. Elliot could feel her tighten on his fingers until her legs buckled and soaked his hand with her come. They fell onto the floor together in each others arms. Olivia rubbed her lips across his forehead, as he groped under her. He undid the zipper of her dress when she unbuttoned his pants. When she felt her back was free from the dress, she knelt down at his waist and took out his hard thick cock. She brought it to her lips and sucked him until his precum began to surface.

Elliot pulled her up by her arms and vigorously kissed her lips. His hands ran through her hair as he held her face close to his. She stared in his eyes as she lowered herself on top of him. She quickly closed them as she forced herself to go further down. She flinched as she felt Elliot's legs push up to meet her. She gasped out, she already felt so full. She cried out as his huge cock ripped through her.

He kissed the bottom of her lip hoping to make it feel better. He started off slow, moving in and out of her until she was confident to move on her own. It took a few minutes before her hips started to respond and started to thrust against him. She grabbed his neck and tilted back so he could get a better look of her riding him. He groaned as he watched himself slide out and back inside her. She was so tight. He couldn't believe he was lasting this long. He held her waist firmly on top of him.

"Harder Liv."

"I can't it's to much."

In one quick move he spun her around on her back and slid back in. He fucked her hard and strong getting off at the sound of her moans below him. He knelt down and pulled her dress to reveal her breast. He sucked on them one of the time, driven by her heavy breathing. She tried to push him away but it felt so good.

"Liv, I'm going to come."

"Me too." She felt him suddenly slide out. "No, no come inside me. I want you to." He groaned as he pushed every inch of himself into her again and that was all it took. He exploded his hot load deep inside her just as she came. He fell, half on top of her and half on top of the floor. His hand caressed her throat up to her lips. He trembled when he felt the intensity of her breathing across the tip of his fingers. He kissed her head in the mess of her hair.

"I love you," he whispered.

"And I love you," she responded blankly. She stared up at the ceiling instantly regretting everything that had just happened. She wasn't expecting him to come back. She wasn't expecting him to be in love with her, and she wasn't expecting to be in love with him. She felt his pulse slow down to a steady beat and carefully moved from beneath him, wincing as she felt him leave her body. She sat on the couch and stared at him as he slept, trying to think about what to do with him.

She couldn't even begin to explain what had just happened between them. She'd always had feelings for Elliot before but never anything like this. Yes she loved him unconditionally, she couldn't deny that but a sexual relationship was unthought of. Now, what just happened, contradicted everything she thought they had and she didn't know if she wanted more or if this was just an accident waiting to happen. All she kept thinking about was the hard sex they had just had. Images of him pounced around inside her head until she felt dizzy, and what about Leo? What was she supposed to say to him? Surprise Leo, your dad's back! He would never understand, the poor thing would probably be so confused.

She decided she couldn't leave him in her foyer so she pulled his arms and dragged him further into her house. At least he was in her living room. She hooked her arms under his and around his chest and pulled him up on the couch. The rest was like clock work. She pulled a blanket over him, and left him behind as she went upstairs into her own room to sleep.

When she woke up the next morning she was surprised that Leo wasn't in her room slobbing kisses on her face. She sat up and realized she over slept and was now late for work. She threw on her robe and nearly fell on her face trying to run into Leo's room. Running was not an option. She pushed herself on her feet and tried walking. Not easy either. She took it slow trying to avoid the pain running deep in her thighs. She finally made it to Leo's room and when she saw that he wasn't there she panicked.

_Elliot. _She ran down the stairs ignoring the pain for the sake of her son. She began to think the worse when she didn't see Elliot sleeping on the couch. Her train of thought was broken when she heard Leo's laugh. She found them in the kitchen having breakfast. Elliot looked up from his plate and pulled out a seat for her. She took the seat closest to her so he wouldn't notice how difficult it was for her to walk.

"Good morning honey." Elliot said as he leaned in the distance and kissed her on the cheek.

"Mama, cake!" Leo yelled as he stuffed sloppy bits of sticky pancakes in his mouth.

"What do you think Leo, you think mom wants some cakes?"

Leo nodded his head enthusiastically.

"Liv, honey you hungry?"

"I don't know Elliot," she said trying to sound angry.

"What's the matter?" she shook her head trying to pull it off as nothing but she couldn't hide her true feelings. She was angry with him, at least she wanted to be. She still couldn't believe he was here. She sat with crossed legs and arms watching him eat.

"You gonna say something or just stare at me like I have two heads?" Elliot asked filling his mouth with pancakes.

"I have to get ready for work."

"No need, I called Cragen. We had a long talk this morning. He's agreed to let you take the day off." Olivia couldn't help but feel trapped so she immediately fought her circumstances.

"Where's Julia?" she asked, the agitation in her voice rising. "She was supposed to be here an hour ago."

"I sent her home," Elliot said sitting back.

"Ok, Elliot I think now it's time for you to go." she said and instantly felt sorry for the way she had said it. Elliot now sat across from her giving her the same look he did at the diner a year and a half ago. The stare set a chill down her spine.

"You want me to leave?" Olivia couldn't hold his stare any longer. Her eyes wandered to the other side of the room.

"Do you want me to leave!" He yelled kicking the table. The dishes rattled, making the the room horribly silent. He had scared Olivia making her jump at the sound of his voice. Leo, equally frightened started to cry. Olivia stood up and picked Leo up out of his highchair. She held him and kissed his forehead, looking at Elliot the whole time. When Leo finally calmed down, she marveled at how Elliot's eyes had reverted back to the gentle eyes she knew.

"I'm taking him upstairs to get ready for today. By the time I come back down I want you to be gone. If you are I'll know that you love me, but if you're still here I'll know that you don't and last night will have been a mistake." She took Leo away and went upstairs, leaving Elliot at the table.

Olivia had just finished preparing a bath for her and Leo when she heard her front door slam. She peaked down the stairs and saw the last of Elliot's reflection disappear into the busy streets of New York.

When they got out of the tub, she tried not to think about Elliot and what he had done to her in a matter of hours. Instead she tried to think about her case and Leo. Getting Olivia a day off was the only thing Elliot had managed not to screw up. Leo was rolling around on her bed as she got dressed. She threw on a t-shirt and some sweat pants and got in bed next to him, falling in love with his smile again. The moment was perfect until she thought about Elliot.

She wasn't exactly comfortable with leaving Leo with Julia at the moment. Especially since Elliot had been in her house and had been left unattended for God knows how long. He could have gotten his hands on anything. Instead she just enjoyed her time with her son building blocks and watching cartoons. She was allowed every moment to relax especially since tomorrow was her day off too.

Her day had been filled with laughs and new discoveries. It was perfect down to the last detail, or so she thought. She was in her kitchen when she noticed a note on her fridge.

_Cafe, Madison Ave. tomorrow 9am. If you come, I'll know you love me, if you don't, I'll know you don't._

_E._


	8. Revelations

Elliot waited at the small cafe for Liv and Leo to show up. He stared at his watch, it was now 9:30. A half hour had gone by, and the sweet waitress he had, had tried to make a pass on him twice. He insisted that he was taken but she was young and naive, after a while he couldn't help but laugh. When ten rolled around he started to panic. He wanted to run back to Olivia's house and beg for her to come back to him, but when he saw her across the street he dismissed the thought.

She arrived in a yellow dress, wearing Leo at her hip. He was equally dressed impeccably. He smiled when she sat next to him. "You came," he said taking her hand in his.

"You left," she said pulling her hand away and using it to look at her menu.

"Olivia..." he started.

"We need to talk about us," she interrupted.

"I know." The cute waitress returned not so enthusiastic to serve Elliot when she saw his family sitting beside him.

"Can I get you anything miss?"

"Just tea thanks," Olivia said smiling up at the girl. The girl took her menu and disappeared with out so much as a look at Elliot.

"First I want to apologize for yesterday. It was uncalled for. It was just... a lot for me." Leo looked up at Elliot while drinking from his sippie cup.

"But that doesn't mean I don't mean what I said before. I love you Liv and I want to be with you and Leo all the time. I get it, if you need space. I didn't understand that before but I do now. We can work this out, you and me. I love you, I know you love me-don't deny it." He said when he saw her shift in her seat. "We both love each other. We can do this." Olivia stared at Elliot with a concerning look. A part of her didn't regret anything that had happened between them last night but another part was sincerely confused about what was going on between them.

She did love him, she always loved him but as a lover, as a father to her- well their children? No that hadn't crossed her mind. She loved her job and she had never planned on jeopardizing it or her relationship with Elliot because they didn't have much of a sex life. She had to make a decision. In some way she felt like Elliot had made it for her when he smashed their lips together and made love to her unlike any guy she'd ever known before. The whole thing felt surreal and she couldn't explain any of it.

She laid down the facts and tried to pick at the pros and cons while Elliot waited for her to say something. The cons were she could lose her job, she could lose Elliot, Kathy would probably try and kill her for all the now lies she had told her over the years about nothing ever happening between she and Elliot, she could damage Leo's childhood...what was she thinking? There was to much at stake. She was insane for even considering a relationship with him.

"I know it's a lot to digest, but Liv say something. You're leaving me hanging over here."

The waitress returned with Olivia's drink.

"No," she said flatly.

"What why? Olivia come one. You're not even going to give us a shot?"

"No Elliot, there's too much at stake here."

"What are you so goddamn afraid of?" he asked quietly.

"What am I afraid of? Are you serious?" she scolded as her voice escalating with each point she made. "Elliot, you show up at my door step after almost two years like everything is supposed to go back to how things were before, you take advantage of me, you fucked me in my foyer and then you turned around and kicked my babysitter out. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. I don't know what you want from me?"

"I want to love you!" he yelled back. "I want...I want there to be an us Liv, like before. I want us to move on from this, from everything, from Jenna, from Kathy and the kids. I just want us to have a life. Olivia I can't live with out you, I tried. It didn't work. That's why I'm here. That's why I came back. That's what I want from you."

Olivia turned away as burning hot tears swelled in her eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I don't understand why this happening Elliot. Why now?"

"Things are different. I'm not with Kathy anymore, the kids are all right, Leo's here, it just comes down to you and me and I want that. I need it Olivia."

Elliot's words echoed in the back of her head. Now she thought about the pros; they could be a family, Elliot would be back in her life, Leo would have a father...things could almost be like before."

"I can't lose you again Elliot. I can't lose you because I'm not enough for you to stay around," she said wiping a tear that had escaped from her heavy lids.

"I promise I'll never leave unless you want me to. From here on out I'll do what ever you say. Just tell me please. I'm trying to make this right Liv. Tell me what I need to do."

"Ok." she said quietly. She still wasn't sure what she was getting herself into but she wanted to try because she did love him. She wanted to make him happy, she wanted to be happy and truth be told he was the only one that could ever do that for her. Elliot understood her in ways no one could see. She took a deep breath and made her decision.

"Ok what? You'll do it, you're willing to give us a shot?"

"Under one condition."

"Name it," Elliot said believing the deal couldn't get any easier.

"No matter what happens, I keep Leo."

"Done." For the first time Olivia smiled at him.

"Let's go home."

Elliot left some money on the table and took Leo for her. They loaded him up in the car and drove away rushing to get home. By the time they got in, Leo was down for his nap. Elliot ran him upstairs and put him in his room eager to be with Olivia. When he did, she was waiting for him in her bedroom.

She was taking off her dress when he caught her. Elliot stood in the doorway and watched her bring the zipper down just above her waist line. Seeing her half naked made his mouth water as he started to think of the taste of her on his lips. He was starving for her and she knew it. He came behind her and finished unzipping the dress and let it fall from her shoulder while his lips caressed the back of her neck. She turned around and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him as she tore off his shirt.

By then he had leaned her down on the bed and was kissing her from the thigh up. She shuttered in delight at the feeling of his lips finding every part of her skin.

"El...I love you," she breathed between each kiss. He couldn't believe it. She said it. She admitted it. He smiled. It was real. Everything was real. She would stay with him and help him heal and he would stay with her and give her the life she always wanted. He could love her the way she deserved to be loved, he could be her rock because she needed someone to depend on, he could be everything for her.

"I love you too baby."

"I want you to make love to me." Elliot stopped moving and just looked at her in the eyes. Her words burned him from the inside out because he knew she was serious. He started to move slow, undoing her bra and pulling down her underwear.

"Just relax," he said softly.

He slid his finger down the center of her core, groaning at how wet she was. First he stuck one finger inside of her, then two. He moved against her as his fingers thrusted in and out of her. He messaged her clit letting her moan in his mouth as they kissed.

At this point he was dying to get in her, he was so hard it hurt but he had to wait until she came, until she begged him for it.

"Liv," he moaned feeling the blood rush to the tip of his shaft.

"Faster, go faster." she asked closing her eyes as he sucked on her left breast. When he got the brilliant idea to bite her nipple she came all over him. Elliot pulled his fingers out and let her feel the feeling of herself on her body as he stroked her skin. He took out his cock and rubbed it against he core until he was ready. He pushed in slowly, letting her get used to the feeling inside of her again.

"Oh god Liv, you're so tight.

"Does it feel good?"

Elliot nodded with his eyes closed, too lost in the moment. She cried out as he started to push in and out of her. He pulled her up to meet his thrusts then ran his hands down her back. He took her hips and smashed them against his torso. It felt so good, he had to look at her in the eye. He kissed her head which was leaning on his back and brushed the hair out of her face, forcing her to look at him. He held her face with the one free hand he had and caressed her trying to remember the exact shape of her lips and the gentle frown she gave whenever he was inside of her.

She opened her mouth allowing him to arrest her lips in a kiss. The kiss pulled her lips and licked the bottom of her chin. Out of all the other kisses they had recently shared this one was different. Olivia could taste the passion on her tongue. It shook her to her core. When he started to suck the skin on her shoulder she dug her fingers in his back which quickly turned into a scratch when she felt herself ready to come.

"El, please," she sighed. He held on to her chest rubbing his thumbs over her nipples causing her body to flare up. She arched her back allowing him to go deeper if that was even possible. They fell back onto the bed from the intensity of his thrusts. Olivia was pushed up against the bed every time he entered her.

"Liv, Olivia." he whispered feeling her tighten around him. She moaned loudly as another hot orgasm fell through her body. Feeling her against him made him come too. She held his body closely to hers.

"Tell me you love me." he said in her ear.

"I love you." Their lips smashed together, each fighting for the upper hand and then it happened. He released everything, every drop of his warm load in the depths of her core, making her gasp at the feeling.

"Say it again."

"I love you, I love you, I love you." He was satisfied. He kissed her forehead and slid on the other side of the bed, untangling their sweaty limbs. She wrapped them in her sheets and nestled close to his chest. She searched for the pulse of his heart and when she did she kissed him.

"El?" Even though his eyes were closed, he was still awake. His arms were tightly wrapped around her.

"Hm?"

"Why didn't you say anything...before?"

"The same reason why you didn't."

"Why didn't I say anything?"

"We worked together. We would have lost our jobs, if not one over the other. I was married I had the kids, I guess I was trying to own up to my responsibilities but I have always loved you. Right from the start."

She nuzzled her face in his neck and wrapped her arm around him.

"I just wish I knew," she said softly and then her eyes closed.

* * *

Olivia woke up to the loud noise of a one and a half year old banging pots and pans together. She rolled over on her back and listened to the sound get louder. She groaned, still physically exhausted from Elliot. She pushed herself up out of the bed. She slipped into one her silk gowns and went down stairs. She found Elliot and Leo on the floor playing with her tupperware and started to make instant coffee.

"Mommy's up! Hey sweetie."

"A little informal don't you think?" Olivia said as she stared at his body which was completely bare with the exception of his boxers. Elliot just grinned. She rolled her eyes trying to ignore the fact that she was getting turned on. Elliot stood on his feet when she handed him a cup. He took her by her wrist and held her by her waist locking her in a tight embrace. She put her hand on top of his when he kissed her head.

"When did he wake up?

"About twenty minutes ago...you know he's a lot like you." Olivia almost choked on her coffee.

"Uh uh, watch." They examined Leo as he got frustrated with the tupperware. He was trying to fit a round container into a square one but it wasn't working. His little face frowned and tilted to the right before he distracted himself with something else. "See, that's you to the T."

Elliot chuckled she was right. "I meant the way he is. Not how. He's gentle, kind and he always smiles...he' so loved." Olivia turned into his embrace, "You know, it's not hard to love a Stabler." she grinned pecking his cheek.

"What should we do?"

"Stay with us."

"Are you sure you're ready for that?"

"You ask me after you screw the living day lights out of me?"

"I guess you have a point," Elliot smiled. Their intimacy was interrupted by Leo's harsh cries. Olivia left Elliot and walked over to Leo, picking him up in her arms.

"What's the matter baby?" Eliot loved seeing the two of them together. He felt lucky that Olivia was able to raise at least one of his kids. She was a good mother. In fact she was a natural. Everything was natural here. From the moment he walked into her house, from the moment they kissed, he just felt comfortable. It was soothing to him after being so confused for so long. He smiled as he thought about their future together. He was more than happy that Olivia was willing to give them a chance and the idea of the three of them being a family was comforting. She deserved so much. She deserved to be happy, deserved to be a mother. He could provide those things for her. He could be anything she needed him to be.

"Hey El, I'm going to run up and change his diaper. What do you want to do today?"

"Actually I have to run by Kathy's. There's some things we need to go over." Olivia flinched at the sound of Elliot's ex wife's name. She was the one who had raised _his _son for the past year and a half. She couldn't understand why Kathy was still so vital in Elliot's life. When he came back, he came to her, not Kathy. It didn't add up. She understood they had children together, but Elliot's kids were all grown up now, what did it matter?

"Oh. Ok." Olivia said sounding more dissapointed than angry.

"She's the mother of my children Liv." Elliot replied as if he knew what was on her mind.

"I know Elliot," she said as she tried to pick up plastic containers from her floor.

"Do you want to come with me?" He asked feeling bad for how insensitive he had been.

"No you go, we'll be ok."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we'll be fine."

"Alright, then I'll be back soon," he said going upstairs to get dressed. Olivia and Leo followed him up and went into the nursery. After she changed his diaper she took him into her bedroom and sat on her bed. She watched Elliot get dressed thinking to herself how she liked having him here. Hell she like seeing him period. It had been so long since she's seen him let alone held a decent conversation. She felt whole again now that he was back. He made her feel safe and secure. When he had left almost two years ago he had left such an empty space in her. Now it was filled. His foot was just out the bedroom door when she called out and said, "I love you."

"I love you most," he said finally leaving.

"Well, I guess it's just you and me buddy." No sooner had the words left her mouth did she hear someone knocking on her door.

"Did daddy leave something?" she said picking Leo up and quickly scanning her room. They were almost there when the loud knock hit her door again. She opened the door saying, "What'd you leave Stabler," and instantly regretted it.

"So, the rumors are true," Casey said pushing her way into to Olivia's home as she took a sip of her coffee. Alex came running from across the street and up Olivia's stairs.

"Hi, honey!" she said hugging Olivia, and taking Leo into her arms. Olivia closed the door after them and worried about explaining herself to Casey.

"Olivia, your house is a mess," Casey said sitting on the island and putting her things on top of the surface.

"That's what happens when you have a baby." Olivia shot back.

"Or when you've been fucked by Stabler for the past two days."

Olivia's face turned a beet red.

"Oh my god! Olivia you're not serious are you!"

Olivia gave a wicked smile. "How did you know?"

"Please, this is my city, I know everything. Oh god I don't even want to think about what you two animals did in here." Casey shivered over dramatically while Olivia laughed.

"How is he?" Alex asked taking strawberries from the fridge and feeding Leo.

"Or better yet, how was he?" Casey leaned in, intrigued by Olivia's answer. "Is he a six?" Olivia shook her head starting to laugh again.

"Casey I am not answering that question."

"He's a seven then. I'm not going any higher." Olivia shook her head again. "Bigger?" Olivia tried to imitate with her fingers. Casey almost spit out her coffee. After she got it down she broke out in laughter. "Olivia how are you still walking?!"

"Believe me, after the first night it was a miracle I could stand."

"If you had to take a guess what would you say?"

"Nine. Definitely a nine."

"I'm surprised he didn't retire sooner and become a porn star."

"Casey!" Olivia said hitting her friend on the shoulder and motioning over to Leo.

"What? The kid should be celebrating...who knew Stabler had a package...man."

"Ok, enough about the out of this world sex. Back to my question. How is he?" Alex asked again.

"Well when he first came over he was okay, but the next morning he seemed like was still on edge."

"What about today?"

"He was fine when he left me."

"He'll probably be in and out Liv. Just be careful, try not to push his buttons, especially not with Leo around. He could switch at any time."

"Yeah, great analysis Wong," Casey teased.

"Where's he now?" Alex said with her attention still focused on Leo.

"He went to go see Kathy."

"That whore!" Olivia raised her eyebrow at Casey.

"Oh come one, you cannot bang the ex husband and still like the ex wife."

"I may not like Kathy but I still respect her," Olivia had said finally sitting down herself.

"So what are you guys gonna do now. Lord knows this whole ordeal is way over due." Casey asked still interested.

"Well, we talked about him moving in."

"So soon?" Alex asked concerned. "I think you should wait."

"They've known each other for thirteen years, how much longer do they have to wait?" Casey argued.

"The chances of Elliot retracting his PTSD symptoms are too high. He's throwing himself into a lifestyle he desperately wants but isn't capable of having. He's guilty about what happened, so while he may be trying to prove himself, he doesn't feel like he deserves any type of happiness. He'll snap like a pencil, saying it's to much then the next thing you know you've got a DB and pile of paper work on your desk. I've seen it a hundred times in court."

"You sound like a DA," Casey sighed, ignoring the truth in her words.

"I am." Olivia sat back and took a sip of her coffee trying to process what she was hearing. "I don't mean to scare you Liv, I'm just asking you to be careful. Put him through counseling, I'll get much better sleep at night knowing that he's at least trying to get real help."

"How do I tell him?" Olivia asked, the news completely unsettling to her.

"Cragen said he and Elliot were planning to meet later on today about working again, I'll call him and tell him to drop the idea, and tomorrow night you can reinforce over_ desert_," Casey smirked.

Alex gave a concerning look at Olivia, urging her to go through with their plan.

"I'll think about it," she said, not knowing that her decision would not have mattered.

* * *

**Happy wife, happy life? Not so much. Is Elliot really safe to be around? How will he react to being told he needs counselling? Will Cragen allow him back on the force? Will Olivia become a victim of PTSD as well? And, what will moving into Olivia's house trigger off for Elliot?...I need your opinion guys cause this could end really badly. What do you want to happen?**


	9. Diagnosed

**Sorry for the wait, the holiday's are catching up with me! Enjoy next chapter as always I love a good R+R. **

* * *

When Elliot returned home that night, Olivia and Leo were already asleep. He peeked in on Leo and stood over his crib. His face was turned away from Elliot, but he could see his face perfectly. All he had to do was think about Olivia. It amazed him, how much he had grown so much to be like her and he wasn't even her child. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't realized someone was in the room behind him. It wasn't until he noticed the light in the hallway was on that he turned.

"Hey," she said. When he turned around he saw Kathy leaning against the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" He interrogated quietly. His hands clenched tighter around Leo's crib.

"I just came to check on you," she replied coming further into the room.

"Don't come any closer, she'll hear you." Elliot pleaded.

"Who?"

Elliot closed his eyes and opened them again. "Olivia."

"Elliot, I'm Olivia." She turned the light on for him, and for the first time he could see her again. His knees buckled and he fell down on the floor. He started to cry. Olivia walked over to him carefully. He would look at her and then see her and then look at her again until he couldn't tell the difference.

"Olivia?" he whispered in a cracked voice.

"Elliot...what's the matter?" His eyes wandered. "Sweetheart, look at me." He did.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly like a lost child. He cried on her night gown as she stroked his hair.

"I'm so tired, Liv. I can't...I can't-" he couldn't finish his sentence.

"Come to bed, El." She waited for him to say something but he didn't. He just stopped crying. She felt his fists pull on her night gown before his gentle kiss on her torso.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked finally looking up at her again.

"About what?"

"The baby."

"I did Elliot. Don't you remember?" He used her body weight to stand up. "At the diner, with Kathleen." He stared at her half confused. "Elliot?" she said putting her hand on his face. He let her hold him for a minute, before pushing her away.

"I'm going to sleep," he said. He walked out the room and stood in the hallway, waiting for her. When she came out she closed the door to Leo's nursery and took Elliot's hand. He let her lead her into the bedroom. She pulled back the sheets for him and watched him lay in bed. She turned off the light and got into bed next to him. She pressed her body against his and wrapped her arm around him taking in the warmth of his skin.

When she woke the next morning, she was surprised to see Elliot was still in bed with her. She got up and checked on Leo before taking a shower. A half an hour later she was dressed and ready. She went into her office and grabbed her paper work, when Julia rang the bell down stairs. She let her in rushing to get the rest of her things.

"Hey Julie, Leo's still sleeping so you can watch TV until he wakes up."

"Running late today Liv?"

"Yeah," she said staring at her phone as she read her text.

"I'm gonna leave in like five minutes. My friend is staying upstairs so, don't freak out if you see him. Actually I'll wake him up now while I'm here so you guys can properly be introduced."

"Is it that nice gentleman who was here a few days ago?"

"Tall, dark hair-"

"Elliot."

"Yep, that's the one. So listen I'll call you when I'm on my way home, you have my number in case of an emergency."

"Don't worry Liv, we'll be fine," the young girl said sitting on the couch and turning on the TV. When Olivia went back up stairs into her bedroom, Elliot was up and staring out her window.

"Hey."

"Good morning."

"How do you feel?"

"Blank." Olivia looked at him concerned.

"Are you coming in today?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna take a shower. I'll meet you there."

"Ok, Julie's downstairs so try not to send her home this time." Elliot nodded in response before taking his shirt off. He leaned in and kissed her as he passed her on the way to the bathroom.

"Be careful," he called out.

As Olivia drove her car, she thought about Elliot's episode last night. After she finally got him down to rest, he woke up twice in the middle of the night, screaming. She had to fight him in order for him to calm down and she had the bruises to prove it. Just thinking about it made her sick. She decided to reason with Alex and try and talk Elliot into seeing someone but first she had to figure out exactly what she was dealing with.

She planned to talk to Wong about Elliot's condition. The fact that she had to see Wong at all made her nervous. She loved Elliot, not just as her partner but as her lover too and she loved the possibility of what they could be, if she dare say it- a family, but she couldn't deny Elliot needed help. If she could just fix him, everything would be perfect. Olivia groaned when she saw all the paper work on her desk.

"Welcome back little miss sunshine. Lighten up." Fin said laughing. He knew it would suck to be her with all that work to catch up on.

"Uh, don't remind me. Where's Wong?"

"Up stairs in homicide, said he'd be right down."

"No, I'm here. Why don't we go upstairs Olivia," Wong said appearing behind her.

The two of them walked upstairs and into Wong's office.

"Please, sit." he offered. She did. "So this is about Elliot right? I've been wondering when you were gonna come in." he said sitting down too.

"Uh no actually. I mean it is about Elliot, but I'm fine."

"I don't understand."

"We've been hanging out lately and when we're together he's fine but after a while he starts to fall apart. Alex thinks it's PTSD."

Wong frowned a little before speaking. "What made her think that? I mean it's a possibility considering what happened, but I'm just curious where she got that idea."

"He gets irritable and angry and...he doesn't sleep very well." Wong raised his eyebrow.

"How long have you been together?" he asked as if someone else was in the room.

"A week."

"That's all?" Wong was surprised. Naturally like everyone else, he had noticed the chemistry between the two of them and while he knew they'd never cross any professional boundaries he had his suspicions that they were definitely an item but to only be "together" for a week- no he hadn't expected that.

"Yeah."

Wong tried to be sensitive to the situation now that he knew they were seeing each other.

"Who else knows?"

"Just Novak and Cabot." Wong let out a sigh of relief. Neither of them had any obligation to notify IAB, so he was pretty confident and keen about keeping it between just the few of them.

"PTSD is a wide stretch for Elliot. I don't doubt that he may have it, but it could just be ASD or acute stress disorder. Like PTSD it can occur after you experience a traumatic event or in Elliot's case shooting Jenna. ASD falls under three categories, Reliving, Avoidance and Hyperarousal or RAH. Reliving is pretty self explanatory, it could be constantly seeing the event, nightmares or strong reactions to things that remind him of the event. Now I'm worried because you were there when it happened, just seeing you could be enough to trigger him off.

"Post ASD victims often avoid people or places that remind them of the event or they'll dissociate themselves from any one particular environment. They can lose touch with their surroundings very easily, almost like being in an extreme daydream but far more advanced and complex. The arousal part isn't always sexual it's more about concentration, like you mentioned earlier getting frustrated and having a hot temper or having trouble falling or staying asleep. Sound like your guy?"

Olivia tried not to let Wong's words get to her. Instead of avoiding the truth she took it straight on.

"What can I do?"

"What can you do. Come on Olivia, don't be ridiculous. You're smarter than this. ASD and PTSD victims are like con artists; they're convincing, dangerous and common. How many perps have you slammed that have Elliot's condition?"

"It's not the same."

"It is. Elliot may not be the same guy that he used to be. He could hurt you and Leo."

"No he wouldn't," Olivia argued defensively. "Look I get it, you sit in your chair with your Harvard law degree and you think you know what he's going through but you don't. You have no idea. You don't want to help him, fine. Then I'll find somebody else." Olivia said standing with the intention of walking out of the room and she would have, had Wong not stopped her.

"Wait." Olivia turned around, her hand still on the door knob. "I'm sorry. You're right. Elliot wouldn't hurt you. Sit down, we'll talk about it."

"I'm sorry...I'm just running out of options."

"You love him. There's nothing to be sorry for. We're often willing to do the impossible, even things we know we can't do for the people we love. I get it Liv, this is a chance for you too. If Elliot can control is impulses you might actually have a shot. Why don't we start from the beginning. When did you first see him?" he continued.

"The night of the office party."

"So Thursday?"

"Right. He came to my house that night."

"Did he seem off beat or edgy?"

"No persistent."

"What do you mean?"

"He just walked in like it was his house."

"Showing ownership is a good thing. It's almost like he was marking his territory. He was essentially trying to make your home a safe haven for himself; a place that he would naturally protect. What happened next?"

"He wanted to talk."

"About what?"

"We spoke a little more than a year ago when Leo was born but things got a little out of control and he left. It was like he wanted to pick things up where they left off. He explained himself...why he had reacted the way that he did when I told him the news." Olivia explained sitting down again.

"And then?"

"He made a move on me."

"Did you encourage it?"

"Not at first."

Wong sighed. "Olivia an explanation isn't an apology. Having sex with him doesn't make the problem go away, if anything it just covers it up. Now he's gonna be inclined to be with you every time he does something wrong or feels like he's incapable of doing anything. You'll have to be careful not to initiate it first because you might confuse him into thinking that something is actually wrong and it could get violent.

"Go home tonight and try talking to him about what happened. Confrontation is the best treatment and maybe with some luck he might actually realize he has a problem and come to see me on his own."

Olivia nodded a little unsure and uneasy about talking to Elliot about the one thing that made him upset. "Ok, thanks." Downstairs Elliot walked into the precinct for the first time in nearly two years.

"What is this? An AA meeting? Everybody rollin' they asses up in here," Fin teased shaking Elliot's hand with a warm greeting. "Welcome back El."

Nick and Amanda looked up from their desk work. "Who are you?" Elliot asked defensively.

"Relax Elliot, they're rookies. Cragen looses his best man, he gets two amateurs to try and fill your shoes," Munch explained.

"I'm detective Nick Amaro, this is my partner Amanda Rollins. I've heard so much about you." Nick said putting his hand out. Elliot didn't take it.

"Where's Liv?" He saw her coming downstairs with Wong behind her. He smiled a little when he saw her. When she walked over to him he scooped her up in his arms and almost kissed her and he would have, had Olivia not pulled away.

"Damn, look who moved in, the honeymooners," Fin said surprised at how "comfortable" they had become.

"What are you doing?" she asked him gently so he wouldn't get angry. She felt uncomfortable and exposed as every eye in the precinct watched them like they were the world series.

"You're so beautiful," he replied nuzzling his nose with hers. "I couldn't help it." Cragen arched his brow and called Elliot into his office.

"Elliot a word, in my office." Elliot looked at Liv nervously, before letting her go and walking away.

"What was that all about?" Fin asked Olivia seeing how unsettled she was.

"It's nothing. He must have cold feet or something."

"Yeah, so when you two start playin' grab ass?" Olivia laughed shaking her head before she started to work, ignoring Fin's question. "Uh huh, I bet."

In Cragen's office, Elliot sat across from Don with his legs crossed. His fingers were tapping against the chair's arm. He wanted to be with Olivia again.

"Can I get you anything Elliot?"

"No thanks."

"So, you want to come back into SVU?"

"If it's alright with you." Don could tell Elliot was agitated.

"Go see Wong first. If he says your clear I don't care what you do." Elliot smiled at that standing and going to the door. "And Stabler?" Elliot turned around. "Try and keep your hands off Benson's ass."

Elliot grinned. "Yes, sir."

When Elliot came back, the rest of the day went smoothly. Olivia was the first to leave so she could get back to Leo, but Elliot stayed behind. It wasn't until late when he finally came home. Olivia was washing dishes at the sink when she felt Elliot's arms wrap around her embrace. She nearly broke the plate in her hand when she jumped at his touch.

"Jesus, El you scared me."

He kissed into her neck and said, "I'm sorry. What's for dinner."

"Cheerios," she replied handing him a wet bowl.

"Are you on the menu?" He asked kissing her skin again.

"Elliot we need to talk." She said pulling away to look at him. For a change she wasn't looking at his face, her eyes instead roamed to his chest. When he noticed her slightly biting her bottom lip, he grinned and slowly started opening his pants one button at a time. He was so turned on by her he refused to take this quickly.

"We can talk later." He kissed her lips and pulled her body towards him from underneath her robe. He propped her up on the counter ignoring the running water in the sink. "Open your legs… Are you wet for me baby?" he whispered hotly as his fingers pushed their way inside her hot, very wet core. He groaned and looked at her. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly open. He desperately wanted to taste her, he wanted to touch, bite, lick and relieve every cell in her tense body.

He lifted her thigh around his waist and caressed her skin and before either of them knew it Elliot was inside her. He groaned at how tight she was. She was moaning as he sucked on her neck, letting one hand find it's way down to her clit.

"Oh god Liv," he whispered with sweet desire. Her swollen lips tickled his skin as he pounded her. She panted in his ear as he reemed her harder. He yanked her hair and then pinned her body against the cabinets . She cried out clutching his arms and biting down on his shoulder as he repeatedly entered her. He could feel every inch of his painfully hard cock slip into her. He would pull almost all the way out then push him back in, hard. Her body tensed underneath him.

He started fucking her harder, his sole purpose surrounding him making her moan those delicious moans for him. His cock roughly slapped into her, her insides cradling his every cell. He held one of her legs up against his shoulder, spreading her even wider for him. She was pushing up to him, clinging to the handle of one of the cabinets above her head, her face marking the signs of painful ecstasy.

It was only a few seconds later that she somehow managed to gasp out, "El, please let me cum."

He wasn't ready yet and he wanted the two of them to cum together. He smiled at her, but shook his head. "Not yet."

He kissed up her neck and stopped millimeters from her lips. The two of them looked at each other as he continued to rock deep inside her. She was breathing hard, her arms were gripping the the cabinet above her head and he let both her legs wrap around him.

She lifted her head very lightly, trying to kiss him but he moved back just a little, smiling.

"Will you kiss me?" she whispered, her breathing calmed only a little.

He, panting infront of her, moved her hair away from her face. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes." She held her head up a little closer to him. "Yes that is exactly what I want."

He kissed her, letting his tongue intertwine with hers, touching her, bringing her close once again. "Now cum for me Liv." He groaned into her mouth as he almost instantly felt her tense up, finally letting her orgasm sweep through her. Her insides gripped him impossibly tighter, pulsing and pulling him to his unbearably powerful finish.

"Fuck Liv…" he groaned into her neck as she clutched him with her legs, and arms. She was whimpering, clenching and unclenching her muscles bringing him more and more pleasure. He was feeling things with her had never felt before.

"Elliot oh god I can't…" she moaned as he flexed himself inside her.

"Shh…" He whispered softly and held her against him.

He kissed her and kissed her, incapable of having enough of her. "Do you feel that?" he whispered huskily in her ear as he again flexed inside of her. "That's what you do to me." He took a step back and took a look at her. They grinned at each other, knowing that they both looked a mess. He turned around and let her slide on his back. She rode him all the way upstairs laughing at him. When they got to the bed they fell into the comfort of the sheets.

Elliot wrapped his arm around her protectively. "How was work?" she asked.

"Cragen's gonna let me back after I talk to Wong. "

"Did you?"

"Wong wants me to do boot camp."

"That's great honey."

"It's great but I don't need it."

"Elliot you've been off the field for months. It might help to get back in the swing of things and you'll get to talk to Wong all the time."

"But what about you, you won't be there. It won't be the same."

"But I'l be here when you get home." Elliot sighed. "Do it for me," Olivia pleaded.

"I'm fine," he said getting frustrated.

"Your not fine Elliot." Olivia knew she would have to choose her next words carefully. "I just want what's best for you."

"Right, sure you do." Elliot said letting her go and sitting up. Olivia crawled behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest.

"Do you blame me for what happened?" Elliot didn't respond. "Because it's ok if you do."

"I did. I blamed you, Cragen...I blamed a lot of people, even the bus driver who passed me that morning. I couldn't comprehend that I had made a bad call."

"Do you remember when that guy was stalking me, when we first started working together? He was attacking all the victims I had rescued just to get to me because I sent him to prison. The night that he died, I went to his apartment alone and he held me at gunpoint...I remember having my gun out too and he told me, he told me it wasn't loaded but I shot him anyway."

"It's not the same Olivia."

"Isn't it?"

"Jenna was just a girl. Your perp was a scumbag, he deserved what he got. Not Jenna."

"My perp was also innocent Elliot. He was falsely convicted. There's not a day that doesn't go buy that I wish I hadn't did what I did and the worse part is, is I have no one to blame but myself. Elliot you have a chance to make amends. Take it."

"For you?"

"For me, for Leo, and for you. You owe it to yourself." Olivia kissed his cheek and pulled him back down onto the bed. The rest of the night was spent between stolen glances and silent promises until sleep took them.

* * *

**Ok so I initially wanted to kill Elliot because he went insane, it was gonna be amazing...but I'm rooting for them just as hard as you guys are! So no spoiler alert intended but since I'm not going to kill Elliot you can expect someone elses life to be at risk. As if I'm not being obvious enough, but you get my drift. Stay tuned! **


	10. Happiness

**7 WEEKS LATER**

Outside of court, Olivia and Alex spoke to each other before Alex went in for her next case. "How's the investigation going?"

"We're getting closer to-" Olivia stopped speaking and just stared at Alex.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded her head. "I just feel sick. Uh where was I?"

"You're getting closer to the case."

"Right, we've got a few leads, so I'll call you when I hear something."

"Okay sounds good," Alex leaned in to hug Olivia but was rudely pushed away. Olivia threw up in the middle of the floor at Alex's feet. "Olivia, oh my god!" Olivia gagged up the last bit, before getting the strength to look at Alex again. "Honey are you okay?"

"What the hell kind of perfume is that?" she asked disgusted and she cleared her throat.

"Bvlagari, I thought you liked it."

"I thought I did too."

"Maybe you should see a doctor."

"No. I heard there's a bug going around it's probably nothing." The janitor came up to them. "I am so sorry." Olivia apologized.

"Oh, it's no problem miss."

"I should go, I've gotta get back."

"Call me," Alex yelled out as Olivia walked away.

Back at the precinct, Olivia prepared herself for an interview with one of the vics. The victim, a 37 year old working woman had come from out of town to be with her family when she was attacked in her childhood home. While she was being raped her three year old niece was held at gunpoint. Olivia spent an hour with the woman trying to identify her rapist- if she could. The same rapist had been out on the streets for the past two weeks. Victims showed up left and right, all with the same M.O. The team kept hoping for the guy to slip up but he was so clean with his work it made it impossible.

The case was taking it's toll on her. She and Alex had been exchanging notes almost everyday on how they could prosecute a handful of suspects. It seemed like nothing was ever enough and everywhere she turned there was a dead end. She had stayed at the precinct from 7am every morning until 10pm every night. She was physically exhausted and so she took her notes with her and left early.

She drove the five miles from the precinct to the academy to see Elliot. When she arrived he was in the arena practicing locks and holds. She saw Wong on the sidelines watching Elliot. She had been so grateful for him, he had vowed to be at Elliot's disposal during the whole trial. She sat next to him happy to see a familiar face who didn't have a particular aroma.

"How's he doing?"

"Really well, he might be ready before the trial is over. He's recovering beautifully. We've already disclosed the dissociation and the reenactment of Jenna's death. It's getting him to sleep at night that's going to be the hard part and believe me if we break the frustration he has we could be healing him from years of build up, not just Jenna which is why I think he should finish the trial. There's still room for improvement but right now he's the same guy he was before everything happened."

"He's really changing isn't he?"

He smiled at her, taking in the warm vibe she was bringing him.

"What?"

"You're glowing." Before Olivia could respond and tell Wong how ridiculous he sounded Elliot had come over to them. She stood to meet his lips as they kissed.

"Hi sweetie."

"Hi," Olivia said smiling. She took the towel around his neck and wiped the sweat away from his chest. "Go get dressed, I want to be home early to spend some time with the baby." He kissed her again.

"I'll be back, Wong take care of my girl. I want her in one piece when I come back." Elliot teased.

"I take it things are going well on the home front?" Olivia blushed before giving an acknowledged smile.

"I can't complain." Elliot came back out with his bags. "Thanks again Wong, I'll see you tomorrow."

At home, Elliot watched Olivia making dinner. He sat with Leo in his arms as she cut up vegetables.

"What are you gonna stare at me all day?"

"Your just so beautiful," Elliot said admiring her. Olivia cut the vegetables slower as she took in the honesty in his words. She could tell that he meant it. She just smiled and finished cooking. When they sat at the table to finally eat, they finally had a chance to catch up.

"How was work?"

"Exhausting." Elliot took Olivia's hand as they ate, hoping to give her peace of mind.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It just this guy, he's absolutely perfect. He keeps everything clean and to the point. No mess, no evidence. In fact he's so good, he walks out the front door when he's finished. It's a nightmare."

"It'll come to you, just give it some time."

"How many victims Elliot? How many will he attack in that time." She said pulling away. She stopped eating and ran her fingers through her hair. Elliot rubbed her back.

"Don't worry about it, you'll be booking him before you know it. Pretty soon he'll be old news and if it bothers you that much let the rookies take care of it, they could use the credit."

"You know I can't do that El."

"I know, I just...hate to see you like this." Olivia laughed at her odds but it was enough for Elliot. "So what else happened today?"

"No desert, I'm sick." Elliot frowned.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm just really nauseous, I think it's the bug that's been going around."

"Is it serious?"

"No, probably just the flu or something."

"I want you to see a doctor before you make any conclusions."

"I'll go see Warner."

After dinner they put Leo to bed together. Elliot read him a story and Olivia tucked him in bed, then they stood by and watched as his eyes close.

"He's getting so big," Elliot whispered.

"We should stop feeding him." Olivia joked.

"I've tried that before, it doesn't work." Elliot said attempting to hold in his laughter. Elliot knew this was his chance. He'd been meaning to talk to Olivia all week, but work just kept getting in the way. He could finally ask her the one question he'd been wanting to ask for years. "Liv?"

"Hm?" she responded barely giving him her attention.

"I-" he was interrupted by Olivia's phone ringing. "Please don't get it."

"I have to," she said running towards the sound. She picked up the phone. "Benson...I'll be there in 5 minutes."

"What's going on?"

"New vic." She responded rushing in front of him and then finally running out the door. Elliot stood at the top of the stairs trying to do everything not to run after her. _Another time. There will be another time, _he kept saying to himself.

* * *

Olivia pulled up to the crime scene. She stepped out pulling on plastic gloves as she walked towards Fin and Munch.

"What do we got?"

"Our vic's 39, works at a law firm. Husband's out of town, it was just her and her six year old daughter."

"Sounds like it's our guy."

"Well if it is, he just started changing the rules." Olivia gave a concerning frown, urging Fin to keep going, but he didn't.

"Our vic's dead," Munch said breaking the ice. The words hit Olivia in her chest. It was enough to knock the air out of her for a minute. She was devastated for this woman, whom she'd never even met and her poor child what about that? Her little girl would be scarred for life.

"Where's the daughter?"

"CSU'S cleaning her up."

Olivia walked over to the bus where the six year old girl sat quietly as two girls checked her skin for evidence. She showed them her badge before she talked to the girl. She bent down a little to be on her level, and smiled at the girl, trying to be as friendly as she could.

"Hi, my name is Olivia. What's yours?"

"Emilie."

"Emilie? That's such a pretty name. Emilie, is it ok if I ask you some questions about what happened?" The little girl nodded, starting to look sad. Olivia could tell that this girl was a fighter. Even though her eyes had gone red and her body suddenly stiff not one tear fell.

"What's the last thing you and your mom did, before the bad guy came?"

"We were watching cartoons." Olivia smiled again at that. "Really what kind?"

"Tom and Jerry, they're my favorite."

"My son likes those too. Can you remember what happens next Emilie?"

"I fell asleep, and when I woke up the bad man was there."

"What was he doing?"

"He was hurting my mommy. She kept telling me not look so I turned away."

"Did the bad guy do anything to you?"

"He was pointing at me with a water gun. I saw it, it looks just like Tommy's."

"Who's Tommy?"

"My big cousin, we usually play with them in the summer."

"Where does Tommy live?"

"In California with his daddy. I only get to see him for the summer."

"Ok. Thanks Emilie, you did a great job. If there's anything you need let one of my friends know and we'll get it for you." Olivia turned her back on the girl with newly found ammunition to find this guy and throw his ass in prison. She walked away from the crime scene all together and got back in her car. She drove across town to the precinct. in record time. When she walked into the room she was pleased to see other people were working over time too. Amanda was taking phone calls, Nick and Alex were at the whiteboard and Cragen was at Elliot's old desk going through crime scenes.

She put her things down on her desk.

"How did it go, the victim give us anymore leads?" Cragen asked looking up from the files.

"Our leads are as dead as she is."

"The victim's terminal?"

"And cold, just like this case will be if we don't find him." Olivia replied walking away. She stood next to Alex as Nick went over all the details of the investigation.

"All of our victims are hardworking women with family's. Our perp doesn't care about ethnicity, physical appearance or audiences, which is why he chooses to do it in front of our vics' children or young relatives. They have different area codes, so he's not into one particular spot. He chooses to attack at night, doesn't use condoms and walks out the front door. None of the victims are related in any way other then our perp's M.O., they don't show in the papers or get any special credit for their work. It's completely anonymous, like each victim is a winning lottery ticket. The chances are so slim why bother."

"So in other words we're depending on this guy to slip up," Olivia concluded.

"Exactly. It's all we've got going for us. The only thing we can do is wait for another victim.

"No, enough have suffered. This guy's changing. He's starting to kill the victims now. We've already got enough blood on our hands." Olivia took a closer look at the board. "What if we're doing it wrong?" Alex and Nick looked at her confused. "I mean what if CSU's looking in the wrong spot. I mean Nick you said it yourself, our perp like's an audience." Alex gave a small smile as she put two and two together. "The rape is only the first act, watching us run around in circles trying to find this guy is like the encore."

"Liv that's genius." Alex said taking a step back.

"Nick, send CSU to any vacant rentals within 20 klicks of our vic's house. I want a few people left on the site, so they can be a distraction." She ordered putting her arm on Alex's shoulder.

"I'm on it."

Alex walked Olivia upstairs to the cribs and got her some water.

"Still not feeling well?"

"I just got dizzy all of the sudden."

"It's the case. Get some sleep. I'll wake you if we here anything."

The next morning Olivia could smell the familiar scent of coffee. At first it brought a warm comfort to her until it ran down her throat. She jumped out of the warmth of the cot and threw up in the trash can closest to the door. When she was finished she went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. Alex came inside and watched Olivia at the sink.

"You were right about him," she started to say. "CSU found him in a warehouse a few blocks away." Olivia spit out her toothpaste and turned around.

"Where is he?"

"Gone. They were too late. There was nothing there except for a chair and a telescope. They wiped everything down for prints and it's match to the DNA found in the victims and what is that smell."

"Sorry, I got sick again." Olivia said embarrassed going out to wrap up the trash bag in the trash can.

"Liv, go and see Warner. I don't understand why you're avoiding it. I mean what's the worse that could happen. At least go get an asprin or something."

"Yeah, I'm going." Olivia said taking her trash with her.

Fin and Munch were back, when she came down. She dropped her trash into the garbage and walked over to them. "How big is our time window."

"We're looking at, at least thirteen hours before another attack."

"So what do we do now?" Alex asked seeing how frustrating this was.

"We wait." Olivia said quietly. "I'm going to see Warner, page me if something comes up."

Olivia walked into Warner's lab with an open mind. She nearly bumped into her when she came trotting past with a fresh batch of utensils for last night's victim.

"Hey Olivia, are you here about the case? Perfect timing if you are."

"Uh no, actually. I wanted to talk you about something."

"Oh. Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I've just been a little sick lately."

"Awh honey what's wrong?"

"I keep throwing up all the time. Every now and then I'll get dizzy but after a while it stops."

"Let me guess, sensitive to smells, you throw up in the morning?"

"Yeah."

Warner smiled before breaking out in laughter. "Oh honey you're not sick, you're pregnant."

"What?" The news came out as such a surprise Olivia could barely make out what Warner had just said. "What did you say?"

"Olivia you're pregnant."

"Here sit down. I'll give you a blood test. I'm 99 percent positive, but I can tell you want more than my word. Who's the lucky guy?" Warner asked as she pricked Olivia's skin and took her blood into a tube.

"Just somebody I met through work?"

"Are things pretty serious?"

"If I ever doubted before, I know they are now."

Warner smirked at Olivia, knowing all too well who it could be. When she and her psychiatric colleague had gossiped a few weeks ago she had assumed that it was his ingenious attempt at a joke, and it amused her now more than ever as the truth surfaced in Olivia's symptoms.

"It's Elliot isn't it?"

Olivia was surprised at how calmly her body responded to Warner's accusation. She simply shrugged her shoulders as if to deny the whole thing and spoke in a tone that was cool and collected.

"What makes you say that?"

"Everybody knows he's back at SVU and I'd say it was that hot piece of thing you had in the DA's office but I haven't seen him since. And your friend from FBI's been around but he has nothing to do with this."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"Agent Porter is a more than capable man."

"Maybe, it he's not Elliot. Only Elliot puts that light in your eyes. No one realized it until he left, and as soon as he came back," Melinda snapped her fingers, "There it was again." She pricked Olivia's skin expecting her to deny the whole thing, but to her surprise she hadn't. She had only been careful enough to return the smirk Melinda had given her a few moments before.

Afterwards, Warner cleaned up the small wound and took the blood away. Olivia waited patiently feeling a range of emotions run through her. This was it. This was what she wanted her whole life. She prayed to God the test came back positive and when Warner returned, with small paper confirming her pregnancy she started to cry. She was so happy. She hugged Warner tightly thanking her for everything before running out the door.

She got in her car and drove to Elliot as fast as she could. She ran inside the academy and into his dorm. He wasn't there. She tried the cafeteria, he wasn't there either. She was going to give up when she heard his voice behind her.

"Liv?" she turned around and saw him. "What's the matter are you okay? Is it Leo? Why are you out of breath?" She couldn't answer any of his questions.

"Is there someplace we can talk?"

"Yeah, let's go into Wong's office." Elliot closed the door behind them. Olivia smiled at him, trying to figure out a million ways how to tell him. "Liv, tell me what's going on. You're driving me crazy here."

"I'm pregnant." Elliot smiled as he walked closer to her.

"Are you really?" he asked so quietly it could have passed for a whisper. She nodded and was surprised when Elliot scooped her up in his arms and laughed. "My Livy's going to have baby!" He screamed in the office. When her feet touched the ground again, he kissed her and kissed her again saying "I love you." He got down on his knees and kissed her womb, and said "And I love you too!"

It was a perfect moment and a perfect day. The rapist hadn't attacked anyone that night and Elliot was so excited he couldn't keep his hands off of Olivia. It was like he had never had children before. It was true, Elliot was a father of six, but what made this kid so much more special was that it was his and Olivia's. He believed he wanted that baby with her more than she did. He couldn't wait for this baby. In his eyes it was a way for him to really get better. Even if he was doing as good as Wong said. He wanted to be absolutely perfect.

They spent all night talking about names, parenting advice, and how they were going to tell the kids and friends at work. They sat on the couch together. Olivia was wrapped in Elliot's arms dozing off when he shook her.

"Liv?"

"Hm?"

"Don't fall asleep yet, I want to talk to you."

"About what?"

"I never apologized to you for how I reacted about Leo."

"It wasn't your fault Elliot."

"Yes it was. I never should have been that way and Liv I'm so ashamed that you saw me like that but it's ok because I fixed it. I'm better now. We have our family and I love you and Leo so much. I'm gonna love this baby too but it won't be enough."

"What are you saying?" Olivia asked sitting up, suddenly very confused as to where he was going with this.

"You guys are my number one priority now, and Liv I want to be there every moment. I'm going to be there every moment, but I could never bare the thought of something ever happening to anyone of you. I'm going to need to protect you, and Liv the only way I'm going to be able to do that is if you become my wife." He said taking out a small black box. Olivia was crying now. He took out the ring, a small square cut diamond, and slipped it on her finger. "Will you Olivia Benson, marry me?"

"Yes." Elliot kissed her cheek where a tear was falling and hugged her tightly.

"Now you can go to sleep." he whispered as he held her body tightly in his arms.

* * *

**Yes i cried writing that last bit. It was so perfect! What I really love about this story is how loyal Olivia is to Elliot, because she could have essentially kicked him out when he came back but she loved him so much that no matter what he did it wouldn't have mattered. It wouldn't have stopped that feeling she got when ever she was with him...ah the bliss of love. So I've decided to take Amanda4Meloni's advice. If you don't know what it is, DO NOT GO FIND OUT IT'S A SPOILER ALERT unless of course you're that desperate. So any way what's the deal with this rapist?**


	11. Shadows

**Ok can we please talk about how I decided to rename Huang, to Wong. I'm such a fail! I pay more attention to his name on the credits then I do on the actual show. In case you didn't pick up on that I just wanted to clarify that Wong is Huang. I'm so sorry guys for the confusion! I also want to apologize for the delay, I had a bit of writers block but it's ok because I'm back! **

* * *

Olivia stared at the ring as it sparkled on her finger. She couldn't take her eyes off of it. She'd been pretending to be working all morning and only let the occasional phone call interrupt her from her deep thought. She just couldn't believe it was happening. Everything was happening. She was engaged to Elliot Stabler and after raising his son for almost two years she was happy to give him a child of their own. Ever since she found out she was pregnant she nearly drove herself mad over whether or not the baby was a girl or a boy. The thought of small feet and young laughter tickled her. She smiled as she placed a hand on her stomach trying to be discrete as possible.

"So you going to stare at that paperwork all day, or are you actually going to get some work done?" Cragen asked stopping by at her desk.

"What?" she responded suddenly becoming very hands on.

"You. Suspect. Interrogation room. Now." Cragen ordered, walking back into his office.

"What's gotten into you? If I didn't no any better I'd say Stabler's been making house calls to more than one special-"

"Uh! Let's not get to carried away. Cragen wants us out on the field in ten." Munch interrupted before Fin could finish. Olivia gave him an appreciative wink as she stepped into the interrogation room.

"Jack Aily. Two counts rape in the first degree, one count murder in the third degree, four counts robbery in the first degree. I don't understand why a needle hasn't been any where near you're arm. How are you even out on parole?" She said stepping in and throwing the case work down in front of him.

"Good behavior. So what?" He spat. Olivia shrugged before sitting down across from him.

"Seems to me you've just been good to the right people."

"Aye what are you talkin' about lady. I did my time like every body else."

Olivia nodded as if she believed his story. "You spend anytime with these women?" She showed them her vics' files.

"Woah that's sick. I don't have anything to do with that." Jack said pushing the case away.

"You didn't seem to mind it before."

"Hey those bitches got what they deserved. I had motive, but those chicks, I've never seen them in my life. There's no way you're pinning that shit on me."

"Where were you last Friday night?"

Jack laughed, "I don't even remember what I had for breakfast."

"Fair enough. "Where were you last night?"

"Laying the ground with some rookies."

"Until what time."

"Eleven."

"I want the name of every employee you...'laid the ground with'."

"Screw you."

"I'd bet you'd like to."

Jack smiled as Olivia pushed some paper and a pen in front of him before walking the other side of the door Huang, Alex and Cragen were watching Jack as he wrote down names.

"What do you think?" Olivia asked as she poured herself a glass of water.

"It can't be him. Most perps want to relive the attack and even if they regretted it or felt uncomfortable they'd never forget it. This guy doesn't even recall what he had for breakfast which shows he's much too preoccupied to deal with his own needs. The fact that he's working so excessively shows that he's trying to distract himself from personal thoughts such as whatever crimes he's committed before." Huang replied.

"Can we hold him with anything?"

"Not without probable cause and as much as it kills me that he's back on the street, we've got Aily's sworn confession on his victims. Each time he's had substantial motive and a good lawyer." Alex informed.

Olivia sighed. "Great, now we're back on square one." She returned to her desk and went over the victim's statements. All of them were identical; physical restraints on the wrist, present minor held at gun point, raped repeatedly, working women between the ages of 30 and 49. She took a deep breath as the chill cringed her spine. Even after fourteen years, cases like this still bothered her, only this time she could sleep at night.

"Liv you ready?" Elliot said as he came down from the cribs. She smiled when she saw him walking towards her. She hadn't seem him all day. They both agreed the precinct was off limits but it was so hard to stay away from one another. Cragen had to put them on completely different schedules so they wouldn't cross paths and even that was a challenge but it didn't matter. It all came down to that one kiss after work. She looked forward to it all day, everyday and just like that it was there. She grinned as his lips lightly brushed hers.

"Yep, let me just grab my jacket." Tonight was their big night out. She, Elliot and the kids were all going out to tell them the news. Surprisingly she wasn't a nervous wreck. Elliot was confident that she'd figure out a way to tell the kids without lowering their opinion of her. They both knew at least one of them was bound to flake but four out of five was good enough for them.

The car ride was quiet as they drove home to pick up Leo. Olivia hadn't said anything as her mind bounced around her case and telling the kids the news.

"Are you alright?" Elliot asked as he drove down the road.

"Uh, yeah. I just-" she sighed, "Have a lot on my mind."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"We don't have to."

"You know, stress isn't good for the baby."

"I know it just seems...different."

"It's the case."

"Elliot, I'm serious. Something about this guy is really bothering me. I've only got the rest of the weekend before it becomes a cold case. Then I'm at a dead end, and my perp's still out there." she said as Elliot pulled in front of the house.

"Okay, then we'll start fresh in the morning. You and me, like old times." He waited until she smiled in approval. "Do you want to get him, or should I?"

"How about I go with you." When the two of them entered their home, Julia helped them get Leo ready for dinner, then sent them on their way.

Elliot drove the 1/2 hour to Derick's in complete silence. All this time he was worried that Olivia would be uncomfortable at dinner but really it was him. He could just imagine how brutal the next two hours would be, "Say hello to your step brother, by the way Olivia and I are getting married, by the way Olivia's pregnant." No. This was not going to go well. As they neared the diner Elliot began to slow down trying to take his time and savor the quiet moments with Olivia and Leo.

"What are you doing, we're going to be late." Olivia protested.

"Relax, it's a short cut." When they finally pulled into the parking lot, they were already twenty minutes late. Olivia pulled Leo out of his car seat hoping to shake off his drowsiness.

"Do you think we should have brought him?"

"Of course. The kids will love him. I'm sure they'll be ecstatic." Olivia said trying her best to convince him everything would be okay. When they entered the diner Elliot immediately spotted Lizzie as she waved them over.

"Hi sweetie." He said kissing her forehead Maureen and Kathleen just waved but opted to actually hug Olivia and Dickie shook hands with Elliot before trying to block his presence entirely.

"Where's Eli?" Elliot asked.

"With mom. He's not feeling well." Maureen replied. Leo stirred in Olivia's arms before revealing his face.

"Who's the pube?" Dickie said. Kathleen hit him on the back of his head. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Shut up." she hissed.

"Can I hold him?" Lizzie offered with a smile.

"Absolutely." Olivia said handing Leo over to her. Just then, the waiter appeared.

"Can I get you guys something to drink?"

"Water!" Elliot yelled making the table jump at the sound of his voice. "Sorry. Water. As quickly as you can, I have...hyper hydration." The waiter stared at Elliot as if he had two heads.

"Water sure. Coming right up." she mumbled, rolling her eyes, as she skated away. Maureen frowned at their father.

"Dad is everything all right?" Her question got his attention.

"Well actually...you see...anytime Liv." Elliot gave up. He couldn't find the words to tell his daughter what was going on between he and Olivia. It's not that he was embarrassed, he just knew it would be difficult for them to understand.

"The reason why we wanted to talk to all of you, was so you could meet Leo. He's your-"

"Cousin...from Norway." Elliot blurted out purposely interrupting Olivia who was know giving him the same confused look as his kids.

"Dad what the hell are you talking about. We don't have any relatives from Norway!" Kathleen protested.

"You do now." Elliot said in a much more serious tone. The waiter came back with water which Elliot swallowed down in four sips before taking someone else's glass.

"Wait, what's he talking about?" Maureen asked suddenly expecting the worse.

"The snotface is theirs." Dickie answered keeping his eyes on his father, enjoying every moment he cringed under the pressure.

"Well he's not _ours _ per say." Olivia explained. "When your dad was about your age, he donated his DNA to a clinic to help people start a family. It just so happens that one of my friends got knocked up with a Stabler."

"So why isn't she taking care of the baby?" Maureen interrogated.

"She died...in child birth and she left me in custody."

"I don't buy it." Dickie challenged.

"Good 'cause we're not selling." Elliot shot back.

"So you guys aren't together?" Kathleen asked desperately trying to get to the bottom of this.

"Actually we're-"

"No we're not." Elliot interrupted again, his eyes locked with Dickie's.

"Oh thank god. I don't think I would have been able to deal with that too." Kathleen said letting out a sigh of relief.

"Don't be an ass Kate. She's wearing a ring." Dickie spat, leaning back into the booth. Kathleen dropped her head on the table with a _thump._

"Why didn't you tell us?" Maureen asked. Elliot could detect the dissapointment and sentimental envy in her voice.

"I'm telling you now." Elliot responded quietly.

"I don't know why this is such a big deal for everyone. It's not like we didn't see this coming." Lizzie declared.

"So what are we the Swiss family Robinson now?" Kathleen said, leaving the sarcasm for her brother.

"No. Things are going to be just like before." Olivia promised.

"Well I don't mind. Congratulations guys!" Lizzie proclaimed without taking her eyes off of Leo who was examining her face.

"Kate, Maureen?" Olivia said, pursuing them while the window was still open.

"I already consider you to be apart of the family." Kathleen admitted, finally dropping her dramatic act.

"I need time." Maureen whispered. Olivia nodded, completely understanding the toll the news was taking on her.

"Dickie?" Elliot sighed. He could have sworn that out of all of his kids, Dickie was the biggest pain in his ass, making this a sore evening.

"Does it matter?"

Elliot grinned. "No. It doesn't. Great, now all we have to do is tell Eli." he announced, finally relaxing into the moment.

"You guys have to tell mom too. If all of this stuff blows over and she finds out..." Kathleen didn't dare finish her sentence.

"I'll tell mom." Elliot ensured her, and just like that the nauseating feeling of fear filled his nerves again. Aside from Dickie's brutal glances the rest of the dinner was seemingly normal. They decided not to tell the kids about the baby, that would have to wait for another dinner. So, after Olivia got the kids to talk about school and work she and Elliot had made an effort to not show any signs of affection to prove to the kids that they were serious about nothing changing between them.

By the end of the dinner, even Maureen had come around. She had even secured Leo in his car seat before driving her siblings home. "You two really do look good together." Maureen said just loud enough for Olivia to hear. She knew how hard this was on her and she respected how calmly she was dealing with the news. She couldn't fathom the opinion Maureen probably accumulated about her over the years but now none of it mattered. She held Maureen tightly in her arms before kissing her. "You know, you're welcome to come and visit anytime you want." she offered.

"I'd like that." Maureen whispered between quiet tears.

At home, Olivia put Leo to bed while Elliot locked up. They met each other in bed to mentally exhausted to do anything. Olivia snuggled close to Elliot's body as he wrapped his arm around her.

"Did you lock all the windows?" Olivia mumbled trying to fight her eyes from closing.

"Mhm." Elliot moaned.

"How did you get the back door open?"

"What?"

"This morning when I left for work, the back door was open. I haven't been able to get the damn thing unlocked since I moved in."

"I didn't open it."

"Maybe Julia did." Olivia yawned. "You know one time I caught that girl lifting up the couch just to grab the baby's pacifier. I can't even lift the cushions."

Elliot frowned and pushed the sheets back before hopping out of bed. He stomped down the stairs and flicked some lights on in the kitchen. He wiggled the knob on the back door and watched it open effortlessly. He closed the door and put the safety lock on, praying nothing would happen between now and tomorrow morning. He was going to have to call in a lock smith to secure the door before he felt comfortable again. On his way back to the bedroom he stopped and checked on Leo. When he was sure he was safe he left the room and closed the door behind him.

_He came from out of the shadows and hovered over the sleeping boy. The child's eyes fluttered open, and looked up at the foreign figure watching him. His tiny knuckles brushed his eyelids before they opened again._

_"Sshh." he whispered, as he covered the baby's face with a small cloth. _

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN! I'm kind of upset. I'll be finished the story soon, :( and everything is happening so fast. This isn't fair...ah well c'est la vie. Going to update sooner than before. Hopefully the chapter will be longer than this...I want a surprise. This could pan out a bunch of different ways...maybe I'll squeeze out a few extra chapters.  
**


	12. Together

**So i'm back! Okay before you read any further just know that if your one of those people who thinks Olivia is invincible and is basically wonder woman this chapter will beg to differ. Even super heroes get there asses kicked every once and a while. Don't forget, she's a mother before she's a cop. So when you guys comment saying WTF that's so not Olivia, I'm letting you know it so is. It's not even that bad so don't freak out, but there was this one guy who was like super bad ass benson sensitive and I was just like WOW OK clearly you've never been in love. On a lighter note enjoy the chapter it's...interesting.**

* * *

It was a quarter to seven when Olivia heard Leo's screaming. Each moment she took waking up sounded like years of crying. She turned over expecting to see Elliot to still be sleeping but he wasn't there. She ran her fingers through her brown hair before she pushed herself out of bed. She grabbed her robe and slipped into it while she walked downstairs. Leo's cries silenced as she came down.

"Elliot!" she called stepping into the living room, but there was no answer. She could hear the sink running from the kitchen. The smell of coffee instantly made her nauseous. As she turned the sink off and poured the coffee down the drain she listened to her house in complete silence. Something was off and where was Leo? Hadn't he just been crying a moment ago? She called Elliot's name again. No answer. She was about to give up when she caught sight of someone's hand hanging from the other side of the island.

For a moment she stared frozen with fear. She moved closer to the body and fell to her knees screaming. Elliot was lying on the floor unconscious and practically beaten to a pulp. She propped his head in her lap and checked his pulse. He was barely there.

"Elliot! Elliot please wake up!" she begged as she violently shook his body. It was no use. She left him alone just long enough to grab the phone on the counter. She was rushing to dial 911 so fast that she didn't realize that there was no dial tone. She hung the phone up and tried again but the line was dead.

"Damn it!" she yelled throwing the phone across the room. Her head was spinning as she kept trying to tell herself to breathe. She couldn't comprehend what was going on. Someone had beaten Elliot, and Leo was no where to be found. She could hear her heart jumping out of her skin as she thought about what she should do.

"Hello Olivia." The voice sent a cold chill crawling down Olivia's spine. She couldn't turn around without effort and when she did her knees nearly gave out when she saw Leo in the arms of a stranger being held at gunpoint. "I can't tell you what an honor it is to finally meet you." he explained as he shivered, enjoying the intensity of the moment. Leo whimpered when he saw Olivia. On instinct she reached out to hold him but was blocked by the heavy feeling of metal on her bones when the gun hit her hands.

"Don't touch that. It's mine." he said suddenly becoming very serious. "Your friend didn't understand that, that's why I had to take him out."

"What did you do to him?" she whispered, choking on air.

He smiled at her and said "The same thing I'm going to do to you."

Olivia stepped back and gently slid her hands in the sink where a knife waited for her. She was careful to maintain eye contact taking in his six foot two stature and immediately making a mental note of all his physical attributes. The man in her house was albino. His white skin seemed to glow as the daylight got stronger and his red eyes burned with rage. Her fingers gripped the wet metal of the knife she used to cook dinner last night as he stepped closer.

"You smell good." he commented as he leaned into to kiss her. Olivia smacked him away and lunged the knife at him. He ducked her swing and threw his elbow in her back laughing as she cried out. The knife flew out of her hand and slid across the floor at his feet. Olivia clutched her stomach as she felt a sharp pain run through her body. He grabbed the knife and walked towards her "You like knives don't you? Exciting!" He pulled her up by her hair and held the knife at her throat.

"Tell me where you gun is."

"I'll tell you where it is if you let my son go."

"I can't do that! He's part of the show!" he spat in her face. Olivia flinched as she felt his spit flick on her skin. "Tell me where it is!" He said dropping the knife from her neck. Olivia sighed in relief when she felt the sharp pinch of the knife escape her throat. He took the gun and pointed it at Leo again. Olivia didn't say a word. She stared at Elliot's hand as it gave a small twitch.

"What's the matter not enough inspiration?" He pointed the gun at the floor and pulled the trigger. Olivia jumped as the sound pierced the wooden floors. Leo's pacifier fell out of his mouth as he cried hysterically now. "It works I swear. Tell me where your gun is!"

"It's...it's upstairs." She waited until she heard him running upstairs to search the rooms for the gun before crawling to Elliot's side. She knelt beside him and rubbed his chest. "Elliot?" she whispered between tears.

"Liv?" he coughed.

"Elliot! Baby talk to me." Olivia whispered.

"Where's Leo?"

"There's someone in the house, he has the baby."

"You have to get out of here before it's too late."

"No I'm not leaving you. I can't leave Leo." Olivia cried as she held his hand on her face. "El you have to get up."

"Liv.." Elliot warned, but it was no use. _He_hit Olivia with the gun in the back of her head and watched her fall over Elliot.

"The shows about to start." _he_ smiled and gave Elliot's face a good kick before dragging Olivia away.

* * *

Cragen stepped out of his office and took a look around his precinct. It was sort of a tradition, a simple way to start the day. Like clock work he looked at his watch and counted to three; and witnessed Fin coming out of the bathroom, Munch sitting at his desk with a cup of coffee, Amanda typing away at her computer and Nick pretending to work until Olivia came through the doors in 5...4...3...2...1.

"Fin, call Olivia's she's late." Cragen ordered before turning back into his office. Fin jumped at the opportunity and dialed Olivia's number. Little did he know, five miles away she was in immediate danger.

"Nothing."

"Alright well call her back in fifteen minutes if she doesn't walk through that door." Fin nodded in agreement. It wasn't like Olivia to arrive so late especially not since Elliot came back. In fact Elliot hadn't even crossed his mind that day. He dialed his number too and just like when he called Olivia, Fin was greeted by their answer machine. Fin stared up at the clock and wondered where his friends were. He shrugged off his suspicions and refocused on the paperwork in front of him deciding to check on Elliot and Olivia later.

* * *

When Olivia's eyes fluttered open she felt an unusual wave of exhaustion slowly release from her body. She attempted to turn away from the blurry sight in front of her but found herself to dizzy to function. Her body flared and made a sharp as she felt unfamiliar hands groping her curves. When she finally came to, she was staring into the eyes of her attacker as he caressed her through her silk night gown. She shuddered violently, trying to get away from him but her hands were cuffed above her hands. Tears surfaced in her eyes when she began to accept the reality of her situation.

He leaned in and whispered in her ear, "You know what I hate?" he asked as his hands trailed up her thighs and in her underwear. He began to rub her roughly waiting for her body to respond.  
Olivia was crying now, "No, no, no. Please." she begged.

"Shut up!" Olivia flinched at his voice but continued to pull away from him using her free legs to her benefit. "Going into the theatre and missing the previews." he explained. He leaned in for a kiss but Olivia spit in his face. A strip of fear raced through her when she recognized the rage in his eyes.

Without warning he hit her face, taking in the excitement. He smiled, pleased that her nose was bleeding, he then proceeded to point the gun at an unconscious Elliot and a screaming Leo.

"Bite me and I'll put a bullet through his head." He leaned in as if to test Olivia's resistance. He kissed her soft pensive lips, taking in the savory taste of her on her tongue. Olivia saw the hot tears streaming down her face slide on to his. After a moment, which seemed like forever, he pulled away from her lips, he removed his hands from between her legs and examined her fluids wet on his fingers.

"Because when you miss the previews, you never know what's going to come out next." He slid Olivia's gown just above her waist leaving her completely exposed. She began to breakdown when she heard the sound of his zipper coming undone. Flashes of Harris at Seaview overwhelmed her. She tried to block out the haunting memories of that day by looking at Elliot. "I love you." she said. She whispered so quietly she was sure the words never left her mouth.

The first thing Elliot heard was Olivia's voice. She was saying- crying "no" and that's all it took. Suddenly the baby's cries were flooding in the back of his head and were periodically becoming louder and louder. By the time he managed to get his eyes remotely open he could see the strange man that was in their house leaning against Olivia who was strapped to the wall. For a moment their eyes locked and he watched her lips as she mouthed something to him. With every second he became more and more alert. He fidgeted with his restraints refusing to take his eyes off of Olivia.

"Do you like it hard or soft? Rough or gentle?" he cooed as he caressed the side of Olivia's face with the cold iron of the gun. She didn't respond. "Well guess it doesn't matter," he laughed. In that moment Olivia wanted to die more than anything in the world. She didn't care about the child she was carrying or the child she'd been raising for the past two years. Death would have been a blessing for the three of them.

She closed her eyes ashamed that she didn't have it in her to fight anymore. The tears that had fallen so effortlessly before were now drying. There was nothing but raw emotion now and she could feel every inch of it crawling up her back as the man who was about to rape her positioned himself between her legs. She looked back over at Elliot who was fighting to get out of his chair. His attempts caused a certain _clanking_ sound.

"So I'm gonna fuck you dry..._clank clank clank_... and when I'm done..._clank clank clank_... I'm going to slit your throat..._clank clank clank_. What do you say to that?"

Olivia looked deep into his eyes and grinned. "Go to hell." she said. Just then Elliot had the chain of his handcuffs wrapped tightly around the albino's neck. He crossed his hands and pushed the man's head forward putting him in a position he couldn't escape from. Olivia watched as the albino's face went from a pale white to a deep red as Elliot took his breath away. He pulled tighter and tighter until Olivia gave some sort of sign that the son of a bitch was dead. He was so lost in his rage that he hadn't noticed her small nod of notification. She had to call out his name before he responded.

"Elliot! Elliot he's dead." she said trying to hold his attention. Elliot looked down frightfully at the carcass between his hands and let go of the body. He gave himself a moment to process what he'd just done before he rushed over to Olivia's side.

"Jesus Christ." he whispered as he smothered her hair with a messy kiss. "Sweet heart are you ok? Did he hurt you?" He asked as Olivia's body clung to his. He fidgeted with her restraints until her hands fell loose. Olivia wrapped her arms around him and and melted into the tightness of his embrace. She cried in his chest until the idea that her attacker was dead had caught up with her too.

"Sssh. It's alright honey. He's gone." Elliot said as he rocked her in his embrace.

Olivia stayed like that until she couldn't take Leo's cries anymore. With what strength she had left she left the safety of Elliot's arms and grabbed Leo from out of his playpen. She gave him the same hug Elliot had given her just moments before. Her fingers ran through his soft curls as she held him close. She kissed his head and nearly smiled that he was beginning to calm down. At least he would be able to recover from this efficiently.  
Olivia jumped when she felt Elliot's touch firm on her wrist. "Liv, the baby," he warned and then she felt it. A warm trickle of blood fell from her thighs and splashed onto the floor. Olivia trembled and instinctively gripped her lower torso.

"Call someone," she sobbed but they didn't have to. Elliot ran out the door towards the sirens.

Fin pulled up with an escort in front of Olivia's townhouse and jumped out the car.

"Get me a bus!" Elliot called out from the top of the stairs.  
"I'm on it." Fin responded as he pulled out his phone and made the call.

Elliot ran back inside to be with Olivia until the ambulance arrived. An hour later he sat in the waiting room anxious and on edge. No one had said anything to him about Olivia's condition which drove him mad. He was sitting in the nearest seat holding onto Leo when Warner approached him.

"Melinda hey, what's going on? How is she? Is she going to be ok?" Melinda nodded her head.

"I found skin tissue in her nails. The victim's blood is a match to the DNA I found. There's some seminal and vaginal fluids but nothing indicating penetration. You want to tell me what happened?"

Elliot took a deep breath before answering. It pained him to remember what that bastard almost did to Olivia. He took his time and tried to recollect the series of events that happened before. Before he could get a word out, Alex had run into their conversation.

"Elliot what happened?" she asked, her voiced echoing concern and grief. She was delirious. When Cragen had called her with the news, she remembered her heart freezing beneath her chest. She couldn't breathe and she wouldn't until she knew Olivia would be OK.

"I'll explain everything in a moment." Elliot responded defensively. "Could you take Leo for me while I talk to Melinda." Alex consented with hesitation and took the small boy from his hands. Elliot waited until Alex disappeared further down the hall before speaking.

"We were sleeping. We just got back from dinner with the kids and she had asked me how I got the back door open. I told her that I didn't and that's how I knew something was wrong. I left her in bed and went downstairs to check on the house. Then...the next thing I knew I saw him...on top of her. I tried to move but my hands were tied behind my back. I struggled until I could break free and then I...killed him. Then...the baby. Oh god the baby." Elliot explained, he was crying now.

"The baby's fine. Relax Elliot. It's over. You need to be strong for her. She needs you. Can you do that?"

"I know, I just-"

"You did good. Olivia's alive, the baby's healthy. Everyone's safe. Get some rest IAB is going to have a field day with your statement."

Elliot frowned in anguish, before almost breaking down in a wave of raw emotion. He hadn't thought about IAB for one minute. The only thing he knew, the only thing that infected his mind in the single moments he strangled Olivia's attacker between his hands, was the ruthless dtermination he had to protect the woman he loved at all cost. No, he hadnt thought about IAB. He found Alex and Leo in the cafeteria. He noticed how Alex was slowly deteriorating too. "Hey."

"Hi. Did you here anything?" Elliot shook his head and watched Leo play with a bowl of fruit.

"She'll be alright sweety." Alex said trying to sound comfort him. She felt sorry for him. She knew he was hurting. They all were. The mere thought of someone harming someone they cared so much for made her sick. They sat in silence for what seemed like hours until a doctor approached them.

"Stabler? Elliot Stabler?" Elliot shot up from his chair.

"Yes that's me."

"You can see her now."

"Well how is she?"

"Her BP level is stable. Aside from a little bruising she's fine."

"And the baby?"

"The baby's ok, in full twelve week term. She should be on bed rest for a few weeks but you guys are really lucky." Elliot gently smiled and practically ran to Olivia's room. Inside, Olivia rested on the bed with her hand protectively covering the baby inside of her. Elliot walked in and sat beside her, taking her other hand in his and bringing it to his lips.

Olivia's body responded instantly. She instinctively pulled away but when she saw Elliot she relaxed.

"Hey." He whispered."

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?"

"A little sore." Her voice trailed off and before either of them knew it she was crying hysterically. Elliot held her head near his chest and stroked her hair. "I couldn't fight him Elliot."

"I know honey. It's ok."

"No, I didn't. I just..."

"What? What is it?"

"I wanted to die. All of us. I didn't want you to see me like that. I didn't want our baby to be born stained by my rapist, I didn't want our son to remember his mother like that. I wanted him to do it."

"No, no sweetie. Listen to me, you just got a little scared that's all. People get scared sometimes Liv. I was scared too. I wanted to die too. To think that you were in that position and I couldn't help you, killed me. It's ok. Everything's going to be ok now Liv. It's over." He let her cry until her breathing settled on a constant pace. What could he say to her to make her feel any better? He knew that this was her chance to heal. She was going to need time before things got back to the way they were. When Elliot looked over his shoulder a half hour later her eyes were closed. He crawled into the bed beside her and rested his head beside hers. He watched her sleep and listened to her heat beat on the machine until his eyes closed too. "I'm sorry Liv." He whispered and then there was nothing.

When Elliot woke up, Olivia was already awake and staring back in his eyes. Elliot smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Good morning beautiful." Olivia just smiled and laced her fingers between his. Elliot leaned in and kissed her lips softly, trying not to provoke any painful memories from that morning. When the kiss broke he could feel her breathing shudder. Shaking, she leaned into his side and tried to get used to the feeling of Elliot on her again. Their quiet moments of intimacy were interrupted by a gentle tap on the door. Elliot groaned and slipped away from her to see who it was. Alex, Leo, Melinda and Cragen stepped in to the room holding flowers for Olivia.

"How you guys holding up?" Cragen asked quietly sitting in the seat closest to Olivia. He was distraught. Olivia was like a daughter to him. He had wished so many times that morning Elliot hadn't killed the serial rapist. He wanted to do it, he wanted to be the man on the other side of the gun. He wanted the bastard to die over and over and over again every time he thought about Olivia's smile. He had become obsessed with a case that was already closed.

"We're all here and that's all that matters." Elliot answered for her. Alex sat across from Cragen holding Leo as he slept in her arms.

"Liv I hate to ask you this, but we're going to need to get your statement. You too Elliot."

"Tomorrow," Olivia whispered in response. Don nodded in agreement. He was willing to give her as much time as she needed. He wasn't going to force her into to doing anything right away. Cragen was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed when Munch and Fin walked into the room.

"Are you a parking ticket?" Munch asked as he nodded at Olivia. "Because you have fine written all over you." Everyone giggled. It was nice to laugh, after everything that had happened. Olivia gripped Elliot's hand and Elliot gripped back, both knowing that no matter what happened next they would be together.


	13. Moving On

It had been a little over an hour since everyone had come to visit. They had all expressed their sincerest condolences to Olivia, despite the guilty voices in the back of their heads. Each one of her friends and colleagues silently tormented themselves over what had happened what seemed to be years ago and now that the dust had settled, Alex and Cragen were the only two left behind. Elliot gently closed the door behind him careful not to disturb Olivia as she slept.

"How is she?" Cragen asked handing him a cup of coffee. Elliot sighed. He wanted give Don a straight answer but he couldn't.

"I'm not sure...she's still pretty shaken up."

"She's strong Elliot. She'll pull through." Elliot could sense the uncertainty in Don's voice. It comforted him to know that he wasn't the only one who was uneasy about the situation.

"Hey Elliot, I'm going to take Leo to my hotel. It's getting late, he should be in bed." Alex said as she pulled the blanket over Leo's feet. His little body clung to her as he rested on her shoulder.

Elliot nodded and said, "Thanks Alex...for everything. Liv and I really appreciate it."

"Anytime." Alex responded quietly. "Don I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You bet." With that Alex and Leo took off disappearing down the corridor. "Elliot why don't you go home, get some rest."

Elliot shook his head, "I can't leave her Don."

"I'm not asking you to. Elliot you need to sleep."

"I can't sleep! Don't you get it!" Elliot yelled. The nurses turned at the volume of his voice. Elliot took a deep breath to calm himself down, it was like his world was falling apart. He could feel his head crumbling brick by brick. He wanted to apologize, he wanted to say something but he couldn't get the words out.

"Elliot what happened?" Elliot leaned back up against the wall and slid down to the floor. His body immediately began to tense as he went over the details of what_did_ happen. A tightness in his chest made his body go stiff. For what seemed like a lifetime he couldn't speak let alone breathe. The images of Olivia's attack were suddenly flickering in the back of his head like an old movie. He had to rewind, he had to think further back to where it all began.

"We had just come back from dinner with the kids...she asked me how I got the door opened, she couldn't get the door opened and I told her, I told her it wasn't me. So I went downstairs to check on everything and...the door was unlocked."

"What happened next?"

"I secured the it then I went back upstairs to check on Leo...the next thing I knew...I heard voices and then I saw was Olivia. She was tied up, her hands were above her head and he was there, that son of a bitch was there, on top of her, touching her and I couldn't...I couldn't stop him."

"You did."

"But it wasn't enough!"

"He's dead Elliot."

"And I'd kill him again- a thousand times if I had to to protect her."

"We all would. Now look, I'm going to run back to the precinct to get this statement in. IAB is going to want a copy of this."

"Oh screw IAB! What are they going to do now? Tell me I'm not fit to be a cop? Are they going to try and take her away from me? I'm not going anywhere captain."

"And I don't doubt for one second that you won't but we need to take care of this Elliot, otherwise you will lose her and you won't be the only one." Elliot laughed at the irony of the situation. He could picture Tucker now, screwing up everything. This day couldn't get any worse. "Get some rest Stabler. I've got details everywhere within 2 miles of the hospital. Fin will be back in twenty minutes to keep watch."

"Who was he?"

"Elliot-"

"Tell me."

"His name was Jason Lewis. He was living in New Jersey up until two months ago...he was 23."

Elliot just nodded. He went back into Olivia's room without saying anything else to Cragen. He didn't mean to be rude or seem ungrateful but the woman he loved was in the mist of harm's way. Someone had come into their home and attacked her. No he couldn't sleep. He wouldn't dream of it and every moment that passed in that dark room only made him more hostile. As he watched her twist and turn, watched her face make small frowns he couldn't help that he had somehow let her down.

He had promised to be there for her, promised to protect her and now he couldn't help but think that she'd been better off without him. This was all his fault. He'd encouraged her to pursue this case even when she felt like it was too much. Elliot allowed himself to keep thinking the worst until a small knock on the door disturbed him.

He was about to get the door when a small woman walked into the room. She was a nurse of course and sweet as pie. Literally. Elliot had remembered how helpful she had been with Olivia's care since she'd been admitted and how she had offered everyone pie once they got settled saying it was a remedy for anxiety. Well it worked anyway.

She turned on the light and said, "I'm sorry to disturb you detective but the doctor's ask for me to come and see you. He says he has some important news to discuss with you about Ms. Benson's condition."

Elliot nodded and attempted to smile, trying to be polite. "What did you say your name was again?"

"Anna."

"That's a very pretty name. I was going to name my daughter that but my wife insisted on Elizabeth."

She blushed saying, "Elizabeth's a pretty name too." She checked Olivia's IV and said, " The doctor will be with you shortly."

No sooner then she left, the doctor came in.

"Ah Elliot, I didn't expect you to still be awake. Anna informed me that you had just been with a friend. I hope you don't mind my coming on such short notice."

"No not at all."

"I gather she's told you I have some news?"

"Is she going to be okay?"

"She's perfectly healthy if that's what you mean. My news regards her pregnancy."

Elliot's body went stiff and hard. He didn't even realize it when he said "I thought-"

"You thought right." the doctor interrupted before Elliot made any horrible assumptions. "She's having twins."

Elliot took a deep breath. The blood rushed back into his skin. What a relief. He started to laugh unable to control himself. He looked at Olivia who was still sleeping. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she found out. "Naturally we'll be keeping her for another day, just until I'm comfortable with her being on her own two feet but right now there's no need to worry. She'll be twice as good as new in the morning." With that the doctor left as quickly as he came somehow satisfied that he had in some way brought light into the situation they were all faced with.

There in the middle of the room Elliot leaned back into the chair silently imagining the sound of four little feet running up and down their townhouse. He could imagine the birthdays and school plays and he couldn't help but smile. In fact he couldn't stop smiling and finally, despite himself, is eyes closed until he drifted.

* * *

"Elliot," she whispered. His eyes fluttered open and swam across the room until they finally rested into two dark pools of brown light. Olivia smiled back at him, her eyes heavy from exhaustion.

"Good morning." He whispered back. She smiled at him as if she hadn't seen him in years. He stood up at kissed her forehead.

"Hi honey."

"Where's Leo?"

"Alex took him to get some sleep at her place." Elliot looked at his watch, it was only 8:30. "She's gonna keep him for a little bit until we get back on our feet." Olivia fidgeted in the bed. "What's the matter are you, ok?"

"I'm fine, come sit with me." Elliot smiled and he climbed in next to her. "I want to talk to you about something."

"How long have you been up?"

Olivia chuckled, "I'm serious. "

"Ok, what's up."

"I think we should get a new place." Elliot didn't speak for a few moments. They were having twins. He had child support on the five he already had and they were getting married. A new house...wow. "El baby I just don't...I don't want to raise our kids in a house like that, where so much has happened and I don't think I could live with it...the memories I mean." It was clear that Olivia no longer felt comfortable in her own home and if there was truth in anything she had just said, Elliot knew that he'd have to do what ever it took to make her happy.

"I'll call the real estate agent in the morning." Olivia thanked him with a kiss sweet on his lips.

"Thank you."

"Liv, there's something I have to tell you too." Before Elliot could get word out, there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it."

Elliot opened the door to a big, "Surprise!"

"What are you guys doing here?" he asked as Kathleen, Maureen, Richard, Elizabeth, Eli _and _Kathy spilled in to the hospital room.

"I called Don after I heard the news. He told me what happened." Kathy said as she put some flowers on the table. The kids gathered around Olivia's bed. Elliot over heard them expressing their condolences while Olivia tried to convince them that she was ok. "Kathy, can I talk to you for a second?" Elliot pulled her outside and got her to sit down. Kathy watched Elliot's face turn white as he tried to speak to her.

"Elliot if you want me to leave it's ok. I'll pick up the kids later."

"No it's not that...listen Kathy. I was going to call you but because of what happened I never got a chance. Olivia and I are-"

"I know. I've always known Elliot...and I'm happy for you."

"Kathy you don't understand. We're getting married. We have children together." Up until then Kathy tried not to look at Elliot but his words had cut her down and ripped her apart from the inside out like a piece of paper. Elliot could see the tears in her eyes and he knew that she was not expecting this. "Kathy wait just let me-"

She slapped him hard on his face. "Are you out of your fucking mind Elliot! How could you?" She was crying hysterically now. "How could you do that to the kids? Keep them away and push them out. God Elliot." He tried to console her. "Don't touch me."

"Kathy just let me explain."

"What Elliot? What are you going to explain, how you got your rocks off from the whore at work."

"Hey now you listen to me! Olivia is no whore. I came to her after we got the divorce."

"O bullshit Elliot, you're a liar. You've been banging her for years. How many other stabler kids are there?"

"1987."

"What?"

"1987, we just bought a house and you were expecting Maureen. We needed money so I donated my DNA to a fertility clinic. Up until a few years ago they hadn't used it. It was one of Olivia's friends and she died giving birth. She tried to tell me but I didn't want anything to do with her or that kid. I spent a year or two on my own, I waited for you... she was there Kathy but I swear to you nothing ever happened before the divorce."

Kathy couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't feel herself breath and everything Elliot was saying to her sounded like a load of crap. If he was lying at least he could do a better job at it. He waited for her to say something and when she finally did, she said the only thing that would grant her a much needed escape. "Tell the kids that I'll be back later to pick them up."

When she walked away, Elliot saw Fin walking towards him holding a coffee. "Wasn't that Kathy?"

"Yeah."

"What up her butt?"

"She didn't take the news with me and Olivia so well."

"I don't know why, I'm surprised she didn't see that coming a mile away. That shit was like the world series." Elliot laughed and followed Fin into the hospital room looking back down the hallway only for a moment. The double check wasn't the kind one gives when they're hoping for a return of what they've lost. No, Elliot was relieved. Kathy knew now and there was nothing he had to worry about.

"Where's mom?" Kathleen asked.

"Uh, she said she'd pick you guys up later and she told me to tell Liv, that she hopes you get better. Something came up at work and she couldn't stay long."

"Typical." Kathleen teased.

"We're just so happy that your okay." Maureen said smiling.

"Thank you sweetheart. If it weren't for your dad..." Olivia said quietly.

"Yeah we're all very happy." Dickie said, for once not being sarcastic. "I know that before...but when we heard the news...I realized how much you mattered and I'm...I'm sorry."

"Ugh, somebody give him a box of tissues." Kathleen dragged.

"Kate." Elliot warned as he picked up Eli and sat next to Olivia.

"So when can I bust you out of here?" Fin asked.

"Doctor says tomorrow morning."

"All that for an assault?"

"Yeah. She's battered up." Elliot blurted out before Fin could jump to conclusions.

"Well why don't you guys give her a moment to breathe. I know a place around the corner for lunch."

"Can we dad?" Eli begged.

"I owe you one Fin." Elliot said handing Eli to Maureen.

"Nah, you owe me five. I'll call you when were through. By the way Cragen said you guys can use the cribs as long as you need. He said he's sorry about the cabin, renovations are killing him."

"Thanks."

"Anytime.

"You called Cragen?" Olivia asked when everyone left.

"Yeah well, I knew you wouldn't be crazy about going back home right away, so I asked him if we could use the cabin for a few days.

"Oh."

"Liv, don't worry about it, it'll be great. I know the precinct isn't exactly the St. Regis but it could work."

"No I know. I don't mind." She caught Elliot staring at her with his irresistible smile. It was the look he had given her for years when he thought she wasn't looking. "What?"

"You're glowing."

"I was thinking about Dickie. I'm really happy that he doesn't hate us for what we did."

"Dickie doesn't hate you or us. He's just been going through somethings with his girlfriend and school. He loves you just the same as everybody else does."

"I know El but I can't help but think that he secretly...you know."

"Know what?"

"Blames me for what happened between you and Kathy."

"Liv what happened between me and Kathy has nothing to do with you. If anything she was intimidated, we separated because we didn't make each other happy anymore. Our priorities changed and since the kids are all grown up we just didn't see the need to keep pretending like everything was ok. So trust me, nobody blames you for anything. Now, I'm going to call Casey and see if she can make herself useful and pack some stuff up for us."

While Elliot was on the phone, Olivia decided to take a shower. Her body hurt to move but she pushed through. The moment her feet touched the ground she felt dizzy and then without warning her morning sickness kicked in. She ran to the bathroom and threw up for what seemed like hours. She ripped off her paper gown and stumbled into the shower. She let the warm water pour on her skin and soak into the steam.

For a moment she just sat there clenching onto the generic bar of soap. Her chest still hurt from breathing so heavily and her fingers seemed to stick together because she'd been confined to the bed for two days. She felt each and every ringlet of water trickle down her skin as the clips of her assault flickered in the back of her mind. She shuttered as her body recalled the rough hand of her attacker gripping her thighs. She let the water run in her mouth when she remembered the taste of him on her lips and then before the water ran cold she began to wash herself. Each passing moment her scrubbing became stronger until she was satisfied, until she could no longer tell the difference between physical memory and pulsating water.

When she stepped out, Elliot was there handing her a towel. She took it from him and wrapped herself in it.

"You ok?" he asked.

"I'm great." and she was. Everything that had happened was slowly draining away in the shower. The details of the events that had happened in her home would soon be forgotten with time. No it wouldn't disappear completely but she'd learn to live with it. Just like she had when Harris assaulted her. Now it didn't matter, it couldn't. After all she was a mother and soon she would be a wife and if she was going to be good at any of those things she had to move on.

So that night when she and Elliot lay together in a hospital bed that was two sizes to small, she let it go. She closed her eyes before his and waited for him to fall asleep and when he did she opened her eyes again. She traced the curve of his chin and smiled when she smelled a hint of his after shave. She really was happy, and so lucky. So incredibly lucky. She had everything she had ever wanted in that small room. Elliot, their baby and a chance to be something more than just new york city detective.

* * *

"Olivia would you shut up and let me drive! God I wish I would have prosecuted your ass in front of the jury. They would have eaten you up alive."

"Alex I am three months pregnant and I have a bladder that decides to explode every forty five minutes. If you do not slam your two hundred and fifty dollar heels on the gas I will pee in your car."

"Olivia I swear, if you pee in my car I'll kill you."

"Not if I kill you first."

"Your son is in the back seat I am not getting arrested for reckless endangerment just because mommy has to go potty."

"Alex!"

"We will be there in two minutes just relax."

Olivia took a deep breath and tried to keep calm. Alex had brought Leo to her and Elliot that morning at the hospital and had been kind of enough to give them a ride to the precinct before Elliot got called in for work and since then Alex had been driving her up the wall. At least she was honest. She pulled up in front of the precinct and unlocked the door.

"Go, I'll meet you inside." Olivia ran up the stairs two by two and made it just in time. When she stepped back into the precinct, she was greeted by a unexpected round of applause.

"There she is!" Munch announced.

"Amanda and I picked them out this morning." Nick said as he handed her a bouquet of flowers. Alex joined them holding Leo on her waist.

"I swear to god Elliot, if you're serious about marrying that woman make sure you have an ax handy."

"What's the matter Alex, a little hormones getting in the way?" Elliot teased.

"Oh, thank you Nick that's so sweet of you guys." Olivia smiled. She hadn't expected any of this. She wasn't even sure if it was really happening. Everything felt so surreal that is until Elliot scooped her in his embrace.

"Welcome back captain," he grinned nuzzling her nose.

"The only one calling the shots around here is me. Welcome back Liv." Cragen said separating the two. "Tone it down, IAB's all over my ass." For what it was worth, Elliot and Olivia had been like the kids he never had- they were constantly bickering, wickedly in love and perfectly capable of overcoming any obstacle that they faced- so long as they were together.

They had grown to love as take care of each other like a family. Not just three of them but everyone on the squad. So when Tucker nearly broke Cragen's office door demanding an explanation for the delicate situation the press no doubt overexaggerated, by the honor of his uniform, Cragen swore that nothing was going on between the two of them.

Quite obviously it was a lie, and Tucker knew it. Yet despite the tainted honesty that Cragen had confessed, Tucker also knew he'd have one hell of a head ache trying to prove otherwise.

"Fin's going to go wild when he finds out you're here. He's been worse then Elliot." Munch said taking Leo from Alex when she walked in and joined the fuss.

"I'm just glad to be back."

"Yeah well we're glad to have you back," Warner said appearing behind Olivia. She gave Melinda a tight hug. She felt she owed so much to the woman. For years she had been by Olivia's side in her own medical way and had been a sincere friend time after time.

"Thank you, for everything," she said loud enough for only her to hear.

"Don't mention it honey."

Then, as if the world simply refused to stop and enjoy this happy moment, the phones started to run off the hook again and like clock work all of her friends scrambled back to work.

"We gotta tip, guy says he found a DB in Chinatown." Elliot announced.

"I'll go." Olivia offered trying to make herself useful.

"I don't think so. You're staying here champ. Your on DD for the next few months." Cragen argued. Olivia looked at Elliot for support but he shrugged it off as if it were a good thing. _Desk Duty, great. _Of course, now everyone knew she and Elliot were together and everyone knew she was pregnant.

That's just what she wanted, to be attached to a desk for the next few months. She had hoped to avoid it for at least a few more weeks before she really began to show but no, as of now she was on maternity leave. At least she would see everybody after work when they went out for drinks.

Before leaving with Amanda Elliot gave Olivia, a kiss and sent Munch to get CSU. Olivia sat at her desk and started to shift through all of the paperwork that had somehow managed to pile up.

"It's a lot isn't it?" Nick said coming over to make conversation.

"I'm used to it. It'll be done by tomorrow."

"If you're done all of that by tomorrow than I'm G.I. Joe."

Olivia laughed. "Then I guess you better gear up soldier."

Nick smiled. He was happy that he could make her laugh after everything she'd been through. "Did you like the flowers."

"They're beautiful. I love them."

"Good, good. I'm glad." He watched her fool around with some things on her desk for a moment and then he asked her. "So I was wondering if you're not busy, you know if you'd like to get a bite to eat sometime. Not-not like a date or anything just- ok this is awkward, is should stop talking- you're giving me a look now."

Olivia chuckled, "What look! Are you trying to ask me out Amaro?"

"No! Well... yes, I just figured you'd get pretty bored sitting here by yourself all day, you know maybe one day we could get lunch...or something."

"Nick I'd really like to but you should know I'm with someone else."

"Yeah, Elliot I know." Olivia waited for him to get the picture but he was still waiting for a yes or no answer.

"Alright. You name a time and a place I'm there.

"Awesome, that's really great. I'm excited now."

"Nick, Huang wants you upstairs," Cragen called from his office.

"Yeah!" He yelled back. "Well that's me, I guess I'll talk to you soon- later. I'll talk to you later."

Olivia just smiled. Maybe she'd get used to the special treatment quicker than she thought. That night while Elliot slept upstairs with Leo, Nick stayed behind and bought a pizza for he and Olivia. They were laughing and cracking jokes about the job.

"Ok, ok I got one. First time you cuffed someone." Nick giggled.

"Oh no. It was horrible. I had just come out of the coffee shop with a double latte and this jerk tried to rob this poor old lady. So I ditched the coffee and ran after him, ended up slamming him into a garbage bin and hitting my head on the rim of the little metal thing. So I'm on the guy and I couldn't get both his hands behind his back, I wasn't armed then so I was completely solo and as I'm trying to cuff his hands I cuff mine to his instead."

"You're kidding."

"It was the scariest twenty minutes of my life. I kept thinking he was going to attack me on the way to the precinct but he never did."

"How old was he?"

"Maybe like 19."

"Oh, I thought the guy had pounds on you."

"Shut up! He was definitely on steroids. His arms were ripped." Nick couldn't stop laughing and neither could she.. "Ok my turn, first CSI."

"I had just came back from drinking with some guys from the academy and uh...I think it was the night of some big game or something because we got wasted, like completely bombed. So by the time I arrived on the scene I had to take a leak. So you know, I figure I'll use a utility bathroom. So I go in ask the manager for a key, he says the plumbings screwed try upstairs. So I run up to the scene and they're like no way you know 'cause the DB was in the bathroom. So after running up and down the stairs like four times finally I couldn't hold it anymore and peed in the kitchen sink.

" So I'm over there trying to cover it up with fragrant soup and paper towel and this cheap cologne sample by girlfriend wanted me to try and the next thing I know the CSU comes over and they're like 'what happened to the hair' and I'm like 'what hair?' and the guy goes, 'are vic was suffocated over the sink, perp left hair.'" Olivia's laughing so hard her head is on her desk. "I think in that moment my life flashed before my eyes. I was so nervous that I'd be charged with accesory or tampering with evidence. Oh man, it was the worst."

Their laughter had died down to a simple smile when Nick asked her how she and Elliot got together. "So you and Elliot...how'd that happen?"

"Well you know, we'd been working together for years and we became really good friends and it just...happened I guess."

"Is that why he left?"

"No. No not at all. We got together after. It's sort of funny really. You don't realize how much you love something until you lose it."

"Do you love him?"

"Sometimes more than myself. Before it was like we understood each other. I mean...this job, this business it takes a lot out of you and sometimes at the end of the day you don't have anything else left to give. We gave each other what we needed, what we had left and that's why we're together, because what we gave to one another was enough."

"So then what happened?"

"With what?"

"I mean, why did he leave? I know what happened with Jenna was pretty wild but if you love someone, if really love someone, you can't just walk away. It's never that easy, there's always...something else."

Olivia was taken back by his question. When she thought about how far she and Elliot had come and what they had done together, what they had plan to do together, everything felt surreal. In many ways it was like reality of what she and Elliot were depended- survived on that question. The very question she still could not answer.

She shrugged her shoulders and pretended that Nick's curiousty hadn't wounded her in some way. "I don't know," she said quietly, though making it a point to maintain eye contact.

Nick scoffed and let out an obnoxiously egregious laugh, as if to mock everything she had previously confessed about her relationship with Elliot. Olivia smiled almost embarrassed that she had revealed something so personal to someone like Nick.

"I bet he didn't know either when he realized 6 foot albino's were lurking around," he faintly joked with a thick smile on his face. Olivia tensed up when he started to talk about her attack but nothing prepared her for Nick's next words.

"I mean what the hell was he thinking? I'll hurt the only person who's ever cared about me, the most beautiful, wonderful person I've ever known, and I'll leave her there so she can suffer without me. I mean she's more than capable woman, she can take care of herself.

"Who cares if there are rapists with sick fantasies and plans for revenge. I mean what's the risk. What could possibly go wrong? Of course if anything should happen to her, I'll be there to save the day. In fact I'll be such a fucking hero, that I'm willing to bet she'll just be aching to spread her legs.

"Who cares about anybody else. All the people who were there for her when I left, All the people who took care of my responsibility, all the people who protected the woman I'm supposed to love don't matter."

"What the hell has gotten into you?" Olivia remarked as she studied the unfamiliar gaze in his eyes.

"It's late. I'm going to head out. I don't want to get in any traffic,' he responded as he broke the uncomfortable eye contact they had somehow managed to lock themselves I to and without warning he got up and left, leaving Olivia dumbfounded and confused in the middle of the precinct. She cleaned up the pizza before heading upstairs to Elliot and when she turned the lights out she couldn't help but wonder if she'd forgotten something.

It was a wonder to her, that her partner of nearly three years should suddenly reveal is side so completely remote than anything she had known him to be. And the things he said had haunted her with such a deep suspicion, that she hadn't given any thought to motive.

When she finally opened the door to the cribs and found Elliot and Leo sleeping in separate cots she locked the door behind her and changed her clothes in complete silence. Everything Nick had said rocked her to her core. She hadn't thought about her situation with Elliot like that before and when she pressed her body against his as they lay entwined together, she wondered if her friends and colleagues had a similar opinion and outlook on how she and Elliot had ended up. More than that, she knew that if they did, she and Elliot didn't have a chance.


	14. Past Transgressions

When Elliot woke up he saw Olivia sleeping under him, her arm wrapped around Leo's little body. He smiled as his tiny chest moved up and down between he and Olivia. Out of the five children he had, he had never experienced a moment like this so it came as no surprise when he decided that he wanted every morning to be like this one. He brushed the hair from the side of her face and gently shook her. She moaned and stirred around in the sheets.

"Hey, we have to get up. We're suppose to be meeting with the Realtor in an hour," he whispered.

"What time is it?" she asked without opening her eyes.

"Seven thirty." When she did, Elliot was staring back at her. "Hi."

"Hi." she smiled. Elliot kissed her gently lips locking his fingers in the softness of her curls. It was short and irresistibly sweet and the perfect way to start their day. She slightly pulled away as memories of her attack forced their way into head. She slid out from under the sheets, careful to leave a smile on her face and within twenty minutes she was up and ready to go. They moved swiftly and efficiently together. There wasn't any tension or discomfort. It was perfect and neither of them could stop smiling because if this was how it was going to be when they got married and lived together it was going to be perfect. They got Leo ready together and left their things behind upstairs in the cribs.

"Look who it is. The Flintstones are finally up." Fin teased. Olivia leaned in and gave him a hug and for a moment she had scanned the room over his shoulder, anxious to see if her partner would be making an appearance after their strange ordeal. "What are you guys doing today?"

"Actually we're supposed to be meeting with a Realtor about a new place," she explained. She hadn't even noticed Elliot left her side when he called for her.

"Liv!" He was standing next to a tall and visibly attractive woman when he motioned her over.

"Here, I'll take him." Fin said taking Leo from her.

"I'll be back in a minute."

Elliot lead her and the other woman into one of the interrogation rooms.

"I really am sorry about the accommodations. Elizabeth right?"

"Yes and please don't be. It's my job to find _suitable locations_." she responded with a gorgeous English accent. "Now, shall we get started?"

"Ready when you are."

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well we're looking for something out of the city but not too far. Something maybe a good half hour, forty five minutes away. We'd also like for a decent school to be nearby." Olivia said confident that Elliot would back her up.

"How many bedrooms?"

"At least seven," Elliot replied.

"Yes...I understand. You said you have eight children, correct?" Elizabeth confirmed as she looked over the paperwork. Elliot nodded agreeing with the information while Olivia stared at him thoroughly confused.

"Wait there must be a mistake -"

"Liv, we'll need the space, trust me." Elliot said cutting her off. Olivia considered what Elliot was suggesting and agreed that extra space was a priority.

"Right, is there anything else you're looking for?"

"A pool would be nice."

"And Olivia, I assume you're ok with everything?"

"Yes."

"Excellent, Elliot I will call you as soon as anything comes up." Elizabeth stood and shook hands with him.

"Thanks again." Elliot said closing the door behind her. Olivia had tried to follow her out but Elliot stopped her.

"Liv honey, I think you better sit down."

"What's going on?"

"Just sit." Elliot made strange contorted faces at her until he could figure out how to tell her the secret he'd been carrying around for almost two days. He wasn't nervous about telling her, he just wanted it to be sort of, you know, special. He decided it would be better if he sat down too. He took- he grabbed her hands and squeezed them for a dramatic affect.

"Elliot?"

"Don't." He took a deep breath and then he said it. "Olivia the reason why I suggested we get a bigger house is because you're pregnant and we're having twins." He watched in amazement as he brown eyes exploded until they seemed to omit a sort of magical light he had never known. It was like something inside of her had lit her up like a Christmas tree.

"Say something." He laughed as she slowly reacted. He knew she was just to physically stunned to really say or do anything.

"Are you sure?" she said quietly trying not to cry but it was no use as she too broke out into laughter. She couldn't believe it. They were having twins. She felt as though the smile on her face was getting wider and wider as she took in the good news. Truth be told she couldn't remember a moment in her life where she was happier. They were really doing this, this was really happening. They were becoming a family and everything was so perfect.

Any doubt that she had before this moment vanished. Nick's dark, oppressive words had vanished, except of course, the part when he said nothing else mattered.

"The day before yesterday when you were in the hospital, the doctor told me and I've just been carrying it around like a secret waiting to tell you."

"At least now we have something to surprise everybody with." Olivia said still smiling when Elliot kissed her smile and then her growing womb. They left the interrogation room hand in hand and went back over to Fin and Leo. From the doors of the precinct Nick watched them interact from across the room until Amanda slapped him on his shoulder.

"Hey, you ready?"

"Yeah." he said faintly and together they left. They had walked the three blocks to a local coffee shop in complete silence. It wan't until they sat down with hot coffee in their hands that they began to speak.

"So, you gonna tell me what's going on or are you just going to play the broken hearted fool all day." Amanda teased with a smile as she took a small sip of her cup. She waited for him to say something but he didn't. "Hey Nick, there will be others." she began.

"I don't want anyone else."

"Sure you do what about Zara?" Nick smiled a little. "And Maria-"

"Maria's a whore. Everybody knows it."

"Ok?"

"Ok what?"

"So what are you going to do about it."

"Nothing, she's happy. I'm not going to take that away from her."

"And what about you, are you happy?"

"Come on Amanda, you already know the answer to that and anyway her happiness is more important than mine. So what if we're not together."

"Look, you can say your not going to do anything but the truth is you want to. Your no different from her Nick, you deserve to be happy just like everybody else, you and Zara...even if it's not with me." Nick took her hand in his and squeezed it showing his affectionate gratitude.

"What should I do?"

"Nick, I can help you if that's what you want. You guys could be a family, things could be like before but I need to know if you're ready for this." Nick nodded in his response. He was ready. Perhaps more ready that he would ever be. So when Amanda's voice lowered and gave him specific instructions on how to win back the woman he considered to be his wife he took heed to every word she said.

* * *

By quarter to three, Leo was beginning to get fidgety and by 4:30 he was screaming his head off like a siren. Olivia had to conceal him in the cribs just to keep her colleagues off her neck but it was no use. After some time she opted to take Leo for a ride. In the car the alarming cry had gone down to a simple whine but it was driving Olivia crazy.

"Leo, honey what's wrong?" she asked from the front seat and all she got was more tears. They had been driving around for at least twenty minutes and by then they were only five minutes away from her townhouse. As she drove into her old street she started to wish she'd taken Elliot's offer to go with them. As she looked up at the doors and the windows and imagined all of her possessions within the stone walls she took everything in and was surprised that she hadn't immediately thought of her attack. In fact she was surprised to be thinking at all. By some miracle Leo had stopped crying all together and was now sniffing the snot away from his nose.

Olivia sat in the car amazed at where she'd ended up and decided to go in. After all it was her house. She got out of the car and awkwardly moved around, getting Leo out of the back seat. She walked up the stairs and stared at the knob looking for some strength to open it, but she didn't have to. The door swung open revealing an unexpected guest.

"Mom?"

Olivia stared at the boy standing before her with a loss of words and in turn he had done the same. Olivia had come face to face with Calvin Arliss and Calvin had come face to face with a very much alive Olivia Benson. At first he couldn't believe she was standing in front of him.

The events of the past two days flashed before him as he recalled watching the news in the broken down apartment Vivian called home. He had listened to the details and believed the rumors that Olivia was seriously injured and was expected to die.

He had left Vivian to her needles and beer bottles and took the money he'd saved from cleaning the old lady's apartment from next door. He had cried on every train and bus ride to Olivia's town house and watched from afar as CSU tore her home apart while waiting for the perfect moment to sneak in and when the coast was clear, he locked himself in her room and spent every hour up until now trying to remember how good she'd been to him.

So when he opened the door, his eyes red from exhaustion and grief only to find the woman he thought dead to be more than alive, he wrapped his arms around her, ignoring the toddler in her arms, determined never to let her go.

* * *

Elliot fidgeted with his pen. He hadn't seen or spoken with Olivia in a few hours and was starting to get edgy. In his heart he knew nothing was wrong, but still, he didn't know where she was or if she truly was ok and that bothered him. For the first hour he judged by the way she left with Leo that she'd just had her hands full and needed some time to get everything back on track but when six rolled around his anxiety became an inconsistent annoyance.

When Nick and Amanda rolled back in he shot from his desk to see if they knew anything. "Nick have you heard from Liv? She's not answering any of my calls."

"What do you mean? I thought she was with you." Nick responded, surprised that his voice had hidden every trace of annoyance boiling within his throat.

"...Right." Elliot said as he watched Nick's face go from a pale white to a deep red. He decided it was nothing and just let it go.

"Everything all right?" Fin asked as Elliot sat back down at his desk.

"Yeah, I just can't seem to get a hold of Liv. I'm gonna try her cell again."

"Don't worry about it, she's probably on her way back now." Elliot sighed and looked at his watch. Fin was right. She should be coming back. It was only a matter of time before she walked back through those precinct doors and into his arms.

Sometimes it was hard for Elliot to explain. He hated being away from her. Most of it was because of all the time they spent apart while he tried to run away from what he did to Jenna but the truth was, he couldn't bare the thought of her not being with him, even if only for a moment.

It bothered him before, but now that she was his and he was hers the distance however short irritated the hell out of him. So, to pass time he stared back down at the open case and tried to get some work done.

—

"Calvin, honey what are you doing here?"

"I heard...on the news. I saw...they said you were hurt and...I- I'm so sorry mom." When she heard him refer to her as mom, Olivia felt cold chills run down her spine. She held him tightly as his tears continued to stain her shirt and was instantly taxed with the emotion that racked her body the day Vivian had took him from her in the middle of the precinct.

"Hey, why don't we go in and get a warm glass of milk?" For a moment, all movement ceased between the two of them and then Calvin took her by the hand and led her into the townhouse.

Olivia held her breath as she walked through the living room where everything had happened and into the kitchen. As she prepared Calvin's milk she felt so grateful that Elliot had a called a cleaning service to tidy up the place. Looking at it now, it was as if nothing had happened and Olivia was surprised at how comfortable she was in her own home.

She had to admit the details of her attack had felt unreal and after she had let everything go, the attack itself felt like it happened a lifetime ago. The house was quiet except for Calvin's feet swinging against the stool as he sat at the island.

"Is that my brother?" Calvin asked as he waited. In so little time he had grown an interest for Leo. He was mesmerized at the way his attention shifted between Calvin himself and the small toy that was clenched in his tiny fists as Olivia held him on her waist.

"Yes." Olivia replied as she handed him a tall glass of milk.

"Is Elliot his dad?"

"Mhm."

"Oh I knew it! I always hoped you'd...I mean I wanted you guys to be together," and Calvin meant every word too. He loved it whenever Olivia would take him to see Elliot. Having Olivia as a mom was more than he could ever ask for and if he would ever get a chance to have a father he wanted Elliot to be the person.

Olivia saw the excitement in Calvin's eyes. It had only been two years since she had seen him that one Halloween and so much had changed in him. He had grown a few inches taller but his voice was the same and yet even through all of that, Olivia could tell that he had seen things.

"How are your grandparents?" Calvin shrugged his shoulder and took a sip of his milk so he wouldn't have to answer. The honest truth was he lost his grandmother to cancer and his grandfather a few months later to old age. Vivian was his only option.

It bothered him to think about the day social services took him to her. He was surprised to see the place she was staying at wasn't completely rammed to shackles and for a while he thought his mother might have actually changed.

He had gotten used to waking up to the _pleasant_ sound of her voice and the non existent scent of alcohol and cigarettes when they spoke. For a while it had seemed that she truly had changed, and Calvin was beginning to wonder if she had just been going through a ruff patch in her life for most of his childhood but this was not the case.

First the arguments came and started off as harsh words and rash tone but then they became physical and like clock work, one-by-one the drinking, the cigarettes and the drugs came back into their lives. To, Vivian Calvin was an unwanted mass of space that too often got in the way.

She barely paid attention to him and the only conversations they had revolved around whether or not Calvin had any money, that is if she were ever lucid to begin with. Calvin had been planning for his escape for sometime now but he wasn't sure when to come to Olivia.

He had been scared to death that she wouldn't help him especially since he rarely got any word from her but he had to assume, because he was certain that out of all the people in his life, Olivia was the only one to love him.

Hearing about her accident struck a fear in him he never knew. He was scared for her life obviously, but he was also worried about their chances at becoming a family again. Olivia was the final straw. She had to love him, she had to take care of him there was no other solution.

"Calvin I-" Olivia was interrupted by the now annoying vibration of her phone in her pocket. It was Elliot. Again. She didn't want to keep ignoring him and have him think something was wrong so she took the call.

"Hi sweetie."

"Liv? Where are you? I've been calling you all day. Is everything ok? Why haven't you been answering the phone." Despite the anxiety in Elliot's voice, Olivia felt even more relaxed after hearing Elliot speak to her. She stared at Calvin and found some clarity in the situation. She was still unsure about what to do but at least she could think about it and be able to pass good judgement.

"I'm at home."

"Home? As in the townhouse?"

"Mhm."

"Are you ok? I thought you said that-"

"I know what I said, I just came to get a few things..."

"Liv, is everything alright?" Elliot pressed her. He knew something was up. She sounded distracted, lost even. He started to try and imagine or at least understand what could possibly be going on in her head.

"Yeah, everything's fine Elliot."

"Well listen I get off in ten minutes do you want me to meet you there?"

"No, I'm on my way back now." Olivia replied hanging up the phone before he could assume the worst if he hadn't already. Calvin waited for her to say something but she didn't at least not right away.

"I'm going to get a few things and then we're going to go."

"Where are you taking me?"

"To the precinct. We're staying there for a little while until we can get a new place."

"What about Vivian?"

"We'll talk about that in the morning. Finish your milk." Olivia said. She kissed his forehead and ran her fingers in his hair in a maternal way- the way she had done so many times before when he stayed with her.

She ran up the stairs and went into Leo's room and threw some things into a bag for him. A few toys, extra clothes, diapers and personal photos then packed a new bag for she and Elliot.

When she came back down Calvin was waiting for her by the door and together they left. When Olivia pulled out of her parking spot she looked at her home in her rear view mirror and said goodbye vowing never to return.

Elliot was still working when Olivia and Leo walked into the precinct. He nearly melted when he heard the sound of shoes patting against the floor. He let him self take in the suspense of the moment.

He felt her gentle touch on his shoulder and then caught the faint scent of perfume on her skin before she finally kissed his forehead and whispered "Hi." She was pulling away when Elliot pulled her back down for a real kiss. He stared at her quite confused when she pulled away and for a moment he wondered if he'd done something wrong, that is until he saw the familiar face of a certain boy.

"Calvin?"

"Hey dad." Calvin said quietly as he gave a Elliot a tight hug. He would have choked on water if he were drinking it. "Mom, told me you guys were together now."

"She did?" Elliot questioned trying to keep a smile for appearance sake. "Well, I tell you what? Why don't you give...mom and I a minute to talk and we'll all go out for dinner and ice cream."

"Calvin why don'y you wait upstairs until I'm finished. I'll be up in a minute." Olivia ordered before following Elliot into Cragen's empty office. He shut the door before he spoke.

"What the hell was that about?"

"I don't know. I went to the townhouse to get a few things and he was there."

"Alone?"

"El, he's been there for days. Since the accident."

"That's impossible. Casey would have said something when she got some of our stuff."

"Well she must have missed him, because he was definitely there. He said so himself on our way over. I believe him."

"I don't understand. His grandparents allowed him to have a sleepover at a crime scene?"

"They're dead Elliot. He's been staying Vivian again." Elliot took a deep breath. He felt like every time they took two steps forward they took three steps back. He knew what she was asking even if she didn't come right out and say it but this was crazy.

The twins, Leo, a new house, a wedding, child support on five kids (well four now that Maureen was an adult) and now Calvin. He looked at her remembering the promise he made to himself to never deny her anything but he was being stretched very thin. Money didn't grow on trees and no matter how many hours he worked overtime he'd never have enough to support everything and he'd never get to see the now four people that mattered most.

"Liv, you can't keep him."

"I know but-"

"But what? You know how things went before. Don't make it any worse than it already is. Sooner or later Vivian's going to go out looking for him and what do you think she'll do when she finds out you've had him all this time?"

"Elliot listen to me-"

"Liv, your not his mother and I'm not his father. Look I get it. I know you wish things were different but I can't do it. Financially it's just too much." Olivia turned away from his words trying to ignore the truth in them and Elliot knew that what he was saying was tearing her apart. "If I had the money I'd do it. I'd do a lot of things if it made you happy."

Olivia sighed trying very hard not to let her tears fall. "I know." She knew Elliot was right. She couldn't ask it of him and yet she couldn't abandon Calvin either.

"I'll call Vivian in the morning."

"No, I'll do it."

"Are you sure?"

"This is my mess Elliot. I can clean it up," and with that she walked out the door with out looking back at him. After leaving Elliot, Olivia went upstairs to be with Calvin like she promised. She decided if tonight was all they had together, she was going to make it a good one. They drove across town as soon as Elliot got off of work and took the kids to Dave and Busters. Leo wasn't quite old enough for most of the games but Elliot and Calvin had a blast.

"Hey Calvin why don't you trade in your tickets before we go. I don't want you to miss out." Olivia said as he stuffed more french fries in his mouth. He just nodded and removed the massive pile of tickets from the table. Elliot wanted to talk about it again. Calvin had grown so attached to him so fast, and giving him the title of being his dad didn't make anything easier.

"He's a great kid," Elliot said trying to re approach the situation.

"He's resistant. I see so much of myself in him."

"You really love him don't you?"

"You make it sound like it's illegal."

"No just...dangerous."

"Elliot when you grow up around a mother like that...it does things to you and I wish to God I had someone to be there for me like I can for Calvin. I think deep down he knows this little charade is going to end but it shouldn't have to."

"Even if we tried, even if we gave this thing a shot we still have to worry about Vivian." Olivia tightened her grip on Leo as he slept soundly in her arms.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." She said quietly.

"Hey buddy! Wow a baseball glove? Maybe one day we'll play catch how's that sound?" Elliot said sweeping his previous conversation underneath the rug as Calvin came to the table.

"Really?"

"Yea sure! Anytime kiddo. Just as long as mom says it's ok."

"Mom, can we?"

"We'll see." Olivia replied. "Let's go. Dad's gotta to be at work early in the morning." Calvin grabbed his new baseball glove and jumped down from the booth. He waited for Olivia and Leo to come out and then took her hand in his before the four of them left.

By the time they got back to the precinct, Calvin had fallen asleep too. After Olivia got the boys cleaned up and into their pajamas, she made it her point to take her time getting ready for bed. She couldn't face Elliot right now. Of course she understood completely where he was coming from, she wasn't mad at the situation or at Elliot's decision she just wished things were different.

She went to the locker room and took a long shower. Hot water was the only thing she managed to feel all day. She thought about everything that had happened, went over every detail trying to find an answer to her problem and what scared her was that there wasn't one. She stayed in the shower until the water ran cold, then got dressed for bed, combed and dried her hair and went back up to the cribs.

When she returned everyone was sleeping. She checked on Leo who was staying on the top bunk and then Calvin who was just below him. She pulled back the sheets and got into bed with him, holding him tightly in her arms, knowing that in just a few short hours he'd have to leave them.


	15. Brighter

Waking up was seemingly hard to do. When Olivia opened her eyes, they were caked with sleep. Her chest hurt from the awkward position she was sleeping in and she had an interesting twist in her neck. She looked over at Elliot who was still sleeping and then back down at Calvin. This was it. Show time. She crawled out from under the sheets and quietly got ready. She left closing the door behind her, mentally preparing herself for what was coming next.

"Olivia?" She nearly jumped out of her socks when she heard her name being called. She felt like she was sneaking around and it was as if in that moment she'd just been caught. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was just Nick.

"What are you doing here this early?"

"I fell back on some paper work last night. What about you, where' re you headed?"

"I have some business I have to take care of and then I should be back."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Olivia thought about it for a moment. Seeing Vivian alone after everything that had happened did make her feel nervous, and she couldn't ask Elliot to come, not while he was with the boys so naturally she figured having Nick there couldn't be that bad.

"Sure."

By the time they reached Vivian's apartment building, Olivia had explained everything to Nick so he could understand what was going on.

"I'm sorry about the other night, I-"

"You don't have to say anything about it."

"No I want to. It was completely uncalled for. It's just that...Maria and I have been going through a lot lately and I used what you and Elliot have as a punching bag. I shouldn't have done that, and I'm sorry if I...if I made you feel like you weren't worth it. Elliot's lucky to have you and I'm sure that whatever his reason was for leaving, it was a damn good one."

"Thanks," Olivia said as a small smile crossed her face.

"Don't mention it- ever," Nick giggled as he joked about his misconduct and was pleased when he heard Olivia laugh too. Feeling confident about where they were he asked her just to be sure, if this was was what she wanted. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I have to, I have no choice." Nick took her hand and squeezed it.

"I'm sorry. I really do wish things were different."

"It's for the best." Olivia said before pulling away and jumping out of the car. Before she'd even stepped into the building she could smell the marijuana harvesting in one of the apartments. She walked in and found adults drunk and strung out all along the stairs and foyer. The place was a first class junkie house. As she walked up the seven flights of stairs to Vivian's apartment she desperately tried to ignore the prostitutes and beggars.

She couldn't believe that Vivian was staying at a place like this, even worse that Calvin was too. She knew that there was no way Vivian was actually sane enough to live here. Even before, she was never this bad but time had passed, and Olivia grew more and more afraid of what the years had done to her. She knocked on the door expecting an answer but it was already open. Inside the stench of cigarettes and beer hit her like a wave, she felt like she was going to vomit and it was a miracle that she didn't.

"Vivian!" she called out but there was no answer. As she stepped over beer cans and cigarette buds Nick searched the apartment behind her.

"Hey your girl, she wouldn't happen to be blonde would she?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You better call a bus."

Olivia walked over to Nick and peaked her head into the room which was obviously Calvin's, and there she saw Vivian's body sprawled over his bed. She checked her pulse but didn't feel anything. Vivian was dead.

Olivia stayed with her until the paramedics came and CSU began to swarm the place. Down stairs officers were boarding the DAs into vans and sending them to rehab centers. The whole thing was catastrophe. Olivia had never been so appreciative of fresh air when she finally emerged from the building. Nick followed faithfully.

"Are you ok, you don't look so good."

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Take the car back to the precinct. I'll catch a ride with one of the guys once we're done." Olivia waved and then got back into the car. She wasn't quite sure how to feel or what to do about Calvin. He was now officially a ward of the state. It would only be a matter of time before social services took him and put him into some god awful foster unit, whatever the case Olivia couldn't imagine anything being worse than Vivian's place. And what was she going to say to Elliot? Well she was about to find out. She walked into a precinct and saw Elliot picking up some files from his desk and Leo still in his pajamas.

"Where's Calvin?" She asked as she took Leo into her arms.

"He's upstairs still sleeping. Where'd you go?"

"To see Vivian."

"Oh...what'd she say?"

"She didn't say anything, she's dead."

"What? How?"

"I won't know anything until Warner calls."

"Olivia Benson?"

"Yes?"

"I'm Tracy Lauris from social services." Olivia looked at Elliot. For a moment she wanted to hate him but she couldn't. Regardless if Elliot called or not, sooner or later Olivia would have met with Ms. Lauris. She just wished it was on her time not his.

"Why don't we talk in here." Olivia offered as she opened the door to the interrogation room. Olivia sat across from the girl, who judging by her smile was new to the business, and figured she'd save her from going through the trouble of saying her speech which was no doubt scripted.

"Before we get started I just want to say that, Calvin has only been with me for a few hours. I went to his mothers this morning to tell her that I had him and that's when I- we, my colleague and I found her."

"Detective, I don't think we're on the same page here. I'm not here to take Calvin away. Your husband called, he said that you guys were thinking about adopting Calvin. I'm here to draw up the paperwork. I know that before we were hesitant because of your line of work, but it would seem we've misjudged you and anyway I think we can all agree that Vivian was not a suitable mother nor will any other be for Calvin. We're willing to allow you to take full custody of him...that is if you still want to." Lauris took out some papers from her briefcase.

"All I need you to do is sign here." she said pointing to the blank dotted line. Olivia skimmed over the content and found Elliot's signature already at the end of the paper. Olivia signed her name and just like that she felt as though a weight had been lifted off of her. "Of course you will have to appear in court to make everything final. I'll call you with a date."

"Thank you."

"No, thank you," and with that Lauris was gone. Elliot walked into the room when he saw that they were finished.

"How'd it go?"

"What did I do to deserve you?" She asked as Elliot pulled her into his arms.

"Nothing yet. You still have to marry me." Elliot teased. She smiled and laughed too, and that was all it took to let Elliot know that it was worth it.

"What are we going to do, El?"

"We'll figure it out, together, but right now _we _have to get some work done if we're going to come out of this thing alive."

Olivia walked out of the room with her head held high as she ran up stairs to be with Calvin. It was still early and he was still sleeping. She gently shook him up and waited for his eyes to flutter open.

"Calvin?" she whispered. She could see the concern in his eyes as he began to assume the worst. He figured Vivian was downstairs finally sober, putting on a pathetic act to get him back.

"Is Vivian here?"

"No and I promise you don't ever have to see her again. You can stay with Elliot and I as long as you like this time. We were able to talk some people and they said we could keep you."

"You mean I don't have to go back?"

"You don't ever have to go back."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"I really love you."

"Oh sweetie I love you too." She said. It felt good to hug Calvin this time. There was security in their embrace, there was hope and there was a guarantee that this particular embrace wouldn't be the last. She kissed his head and held him a while longer.

She called Julia to take the boys out for the rest of the day while she and Elliot finished up on their case and after work while she and Elliot lay in bed together wrapped in each others arms she could finally rest. She laid on his chest and traced the curves of his skin while they spoke quietly.

"Hey El, I was thinking, maybe we should get married at Cragen's cabin."

"What happened to that estate you found?"

"I know, but I was just thinking. It could be really nice and after you divorced Kathy getting married in a Catholic church is out of the question and besides we don't have that many guests, just your family and the gang and just think how much money we'll save."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"What do you think?"

"I'm happy if you are. I'll talk to Cragen in the morning."

"Mmm." Olivia moaned to tired to speak. Her eyes stayed open a while longer as she tried to imagine her wedding and just before she could walk down the isle her eyes closed.

* * *

In the morning Olivia had gotten Calvin and Leo into a routine. She was thankful they were still in the middle of the summer and she didn't have to worry about getting Calvin into school. Julia was at the precinct promptly at 8 for the boys and Olivia was down for work by 8:30. She was still annoyed that Cragen had confined her to her desk for the remainder of her pregnancy. This was going to be a long six months but at least she had tonight's dinner party to look forward to. She and Elliot had planned on announcing the news about the twins and giving a wedding date to their friends for some time and today was the big day.

"Who was that?" Olivia asked as Elliot hung up the phone. He had scribbled down some information on a sticky note and said one two many yeses before hanging up.

"Elizabeth. She thinks she's found something for us. Apparently the place is a steal, and she has to put it on the market by the end of the night. Do you want to check it out?" Elliot said leaning back into his chair. She instinctively checked the time before responding.

"I'll be ready in five minutes."

"Alright I'll go get the car."

They drove for about a half hour until they arrived to their destination...or so they thought.

"Jesus Elliot. I think you should have actually said something when she mentioned the budget. These things can't be less than a million dollars." Olivia sighed suddenly feeling that they'd wasted their time coming all the way out here.

"Well we're already out here. We might as well just go see and let her know that things are getting pretty tight. Liv read me the address again, I think I passed it."

"57-"

"58?"

"Yeah."

"We definitely have to talk about the budget." Elliot and Olivia held their breath as they pulled up to the two story stone mansion. It certainly was a sore for the eyes. "That's kind of nice right?" Elliot said as he realized that they had parked in front of the backyard. Before Olivia had time to respond Elizabeth spotted them.

"You guys made perfect timing. I was so hoping you'd get to see the property before the sun went down. It's a beauty isn't it?"

"I've never seen anything like it." Olivia admitted. It was true, she'd never seen anything like this and as she tried to take in her surroundings, Elizabeth explained everything about the home.

"Now I know it's located in New Jersey but it's not far from the city. It's only a thirty minute drive from Manhattan but of course you already know that. As they walked in they found themselves standing in the mudroom. Olivia smiled as she saw the little boots beside the storage bench.

"It's a good neighborhood, there are 12 bedrooms, full back yard, a pool, a dining room, refurninshed state of the art kitchen, seven and a half bathrooms and plenty of space for the kids." Elizabeth explained as she pulled them further into the house. Just around the corner was the kitchen which was decorated with white wood work and stainless steel appliances.

"The house was built in 1937 by it's original owners. The wooden floors are authentic. The kitchen was just re done. It has a really nice touch of class, don't you think?" There was an island with it's own private sink, stainless steel refrigerator, a hidden dishwasher, state of the art stove and several embedded pull outs for storage. It was absolutely gorgeous.

"To the right there's a den." Elliot and Olivia peeked their heads into the small room that was home to a sofa and a flat screen TV.

"Just think of all the super bowl parties we could have with this thing." Elliot joked.

"And further down, I would have guessed you've noticed the dining room." Olivia turned back around into the kitchen and sure enough there it was. A nice wooden table only a few feet away from the kitchen. Elizabeth lead them deeper into the house leaving that area behind and walked them into a small room that was filled with toys. "Now there are two entrances into the foyer. The one leading out from the dining room and the one that leads out from this room. The previous owners used this space as their children's play room. They're still moving out, I'm sorry for the mess." They stepped over the toys and into the foyer. It was large and spacious. There was a massive staircase that led upstairs and another spacious room remained on their right.

"Now you guys came in through the side entrance. This is the front. Most people don't usually use this entrance to come inside because it's much more private. The grand staircase takes you upstairs to the second floor. As you can see there's a bathroom just there before you go up." Elizabeth said pointing to the door to the far left of the staircase.

"The next room to your left, is a nice dining space for more formal affairs like Christmas and Thanksgiving. Of course it would mean you wouldn't have an official living room, but I figured the den would have sufficed. You'll be able to host holiday dinners and parties for your family don't you think?

"The office is behind the french doors and has a beautiful view of the property. The owner's have asked me not to show you upstairs because their things are still there but the home is complete with all your must haves. What do you think Olivia?"

Olivia was overwhelmed. Truthfully the place was perfect for them, but it just wasn't realistic. She hated that Elizabeth drove made them come all the way out here just so she could see something they could never have. "I love it, but... we can't afford this."

Elizabeth grinned. "Name your price?"

"Well we were kind of looking for something between 150 and 250," Elliot said Fleming with pride.

"Done."

"I'm sorry what?" Olivia scoffed. Elizabeth couldn't be serious. This house was worth four mil at least.

"The family that lived here before was murdered in the house which no doubt brought down it's value. It's a steal believe me. When I found out you guys were cops I figured you couldn't be all that bothered by a couple of stiffs."

"How did they die?" Olivia asked trying hard not to smile. If there was the slightest chance that all of this could be theirs she was going to jump at the opportunity but even she knew that nothing this good came for free. She had to know what she was dealing with before she said yes, after all this was where she and Elliot would be raising their family together.

"The wife was cheating on the husband with one of his colleagues. He snapped when he found out and then one night he came home and killed everyone; the wife, the baby, the maid even the dog. He's in prison now but his house is, well... his mother's but she's decided to sell. It's yours now if you want it."

"What do you say Liv? You want to stay here?"

"We'll take it." Olivia said finally able to smile. This was it. This is where they would live for the rest of their lives. She kissed Elliot enjoying the sweetness on his lips. "Thank you for being so wonderful."

"Thank you for being you." Elliot said smiling on their kiss. Elizabeth threw them their set of keys and left the new home owners to spend a few minutes alone.

"So what do you think?" Elliot asked as he swung Olivia around in his arms.

"I love it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't we get back and tell the kids."

"Two steps a head of you!" Olivia giggled as she pulled Elliot back the way they came. The whole way back they couldn't stop thinking about ways to decorate and how much money they were saving.

As soon as they got back they met the gang for drinks. It had been the first time they had been out to celebrate the twins, the engagement and the house. With the exception of Cragen and Olivia everyone was drunk.

"Hey, El I really, really gotta hand it to ya, you lucky son of a bitch." Munch giggled. "So tell me again how you two…made two." Munch glared raising his eyebrow and an empty glass from across the table

"The same way Elliot made the burnt pizza and brought frozen beer at the super bowl. He didn't take it out in time." Fin cracked. The whole table busted in laughter. Olivia cried in Cragen's shoulder from laughing so hard.

"Alright, alright everybody settle down we gotta couple of announcements before the end of the night!" Elliot yelled motioning the waitress to come over. He pulled the young girl over and said, "What's your name kiddo?"

"Sarah."

"Ok Sarah I'm gonna need your best bottle of sparkling apple cider, would you please bring it out."

"Right away sir."

Fin shot a look at Cragen trying to contain his laughter. "Stabler's breakin' out the fizzly! Shit's 'bout to go down." Sarah came back out and filled everyone's glasses.

Elliot raised his too drunk to realize his glass was still empty. "Twelve years ago I walked into the 1-6 to report for duty and I didn't know it then, I didn't know it two years ago, but that day I met the love of my life. She's been my partner in justice and crime, my friend from beginning to end and soon she'll be wife to have and to hold but I'd be a fool if I said I didn't owe it all to this wonderful man right here." Elliot explained as he tapped Cragen.

"Don I want you to know, not just as an esteemed colleague but also as a friend that I thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing something so wonderful into my life and so it is my great pleasure to announce that Liv and I have chosen you to be the godfather of the twins. Would you please do us the honor?"

The table was quiet. Cragen looked at Olivia with tears in his eyes as he felt her give his hand a squeeze. He stood up to Elliot and put his hand out. "You bet your ass I will." Elliot took his hand and they embraced as the table went wild with clapping and shouts.

"Hold on one more. Now Alex, we've been kissing your ass from day one. Just say yes." Elliot laughed sitting back down next to Olivia.

"Of course." Alex said raising her glass in modesty and then it was settled. Alex and Cragen would be the god parents of Elliot and Olivia's unborn children. The rest of the night was spent with more rounds, more laughter and more jokes. Olivia watched her friends as they spiraled out of control and wondered if she'd ever gotten this bad in front of Cragen. Now she understood why he was always the first one to leave and judging by the way things were going she'd begun to question whether or not she'd ever drink again.

Cragen noticed her growing quiet. "It's not always this bad."

"Oh good."

"It gets worse." Olivia giggled knowing there was probably some truth in his light hearted joke. "I really am honored Liv, at how much you and Elliot have decided to include me into your lives. It really means a lot. Elliot told me you guys were thinking about using the cabin for the wedding. It's all yours of course; I mean if you still want it."

"Don, I wouldn't have it any other way. As high off of his ass as Elliot is right now he managed to get one thing right. We're so in debt to you and even when Elliot wasn't…when he was gone you were like a father to me. You've always been and I want you to be." Olivia smiled between her tears. She took his hand and led him to the dance floor. "Now lets show these morons how to really party." She joked. They danced like two kids, just happy to be there and have a good time, completely oblivious to the conflicting world around them.

And Nick was conflicted as he sat alone at the table with Amanda throwing back another beer.

"Nicky, dance with me." Amanda pleaded as she tugged on his shoulder but Nick had pushed her away uncaring for her company.

"No."

"Hey, tonight's a good night. Let's just enjoy it; Fin's picking up the tab, some random taxi driver will be there to take us home. We don't have to worry about anything." Amanda argued leaning back into his comfort zone. She put her hand on his thigh hoping he'd get the gesture. And what was the harm? She was drunk and he was drunk so somewhere along the line two wrongs had to make a right. Right?

Nick put his hand on hers and caressed her until he had his fingers wrapped around her wrist and when he was sure he had seduced her, however slightly, he twisted it until she gasped out in pain.

"Nick let go. You're hurting me!"

"Hey! You listen to me! _You will never be her. _So just stay the hell away from me!" Nick yelled. He let her go, relieved that the music was loud enough where no one could hear him. Nick grabbed his coat and stormed out of the restaurant with out another word.

A few feet away at the bar, Alex had watched the entire scene and listened to every word that was said. She took her drink from the bar tender and sat next to Amanda who was now shaking from the entire ordeal.

"Hey, are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Amanda said quietly, afraid to look at Alex in the eye where she could see the tears building up in her own.

"What happened between you and Nick?"

"Look I said I was ok. Back off." She spat before leaving the table in a similar manor that Nick had only moments before. Alex debated on whether or not she should get involved but decided to leave the _crazy bitch_ alone. She took another sip of wine and was suddenly very appreciative that whatever it was that had gone on between Nick and Amanda wasn't her problem. All she had to worry about was John Munch

"Hey, Liv and El told me to call a cab, so I'm here." Munch said as he attempted to stop laughing in Alex's face. Alex looked at him distressingly unsure of where he was coming from. "Come on cabbie, don't make me wait." Now she got it. She was mad but she laughed anyway.

"So soon?"

"The kids gotta sleep sometime." He winked.

Alex laughed unsure if she should be scared or flattered that John was flirting with her.

"Let's go you hopeless dork."


	16. The Last Time

**Hey guys. I know you all want to kill me because I haven't posted a new chapter in forever but I can promise this one won't dissapoint. Since I've been gone for so long, I've decided to fast forward a little in the story so we could both be on the same page but don't worry I haven't left anything important out! I'm not sure when my next chapter will be up but I'm aiming for sometime between now and the Monday after Easter hopefully. Enjoy ;)**

* * *

Olivia woke up in Elliot's uncomfortable tight embrace. It was only 6 am and it had been exactly three weeks since she had become Mrs. Elliot Stabler. The wedding, an insanely intimate affair, had only been attended by their closest friends and family, ranging from an unexpected Kathy to Elliot and Olivia's expected twins.

Calvin and Leo had walked hand in hand down the isle to present the rings, followed by Alex, Casey, Kathleen, Maureen and Elizabeth. Richard- Elliot's best man, Fin and Munch had waited beside their father and friend during that beautiful day but nothing could have ever prepared any of them for what would happen next.

When Olivia came down the isle with Cragen at her arm Elliot realized that whatever life he had before this moment was a product of his existence, but with Olivia by his side- as his wife he would finally start to live and he was, every moment since then. He made sure to confess to Olivia every day and night how much he loved her in some direct or indirect way.

Whether it was a sweet kiss, incredible sex or quite literally spelling the words out, he did everything he could think of so she'd know how much she meant to him but this morning he wouldn't get the chance as Olivia escaped his embrace.

Wearing nothing but Elliot's shirt and her underwear, Olivia grabbed the baby monitor and quietly traveled into the bathroom. It was obnoxiously huge. She'd always joked that they could fit another bedroom in the suite and she was absolutely right.

She started to brush her teeth ignoring the chill of the vacant space around her and listened out for Elliot who would no doubt recognize her absence within a matter of minutes. When she spit the last of her paste in the sink she looked at herself in the mirror trying to freshen up a little so she didn't look like a bed zombie when Elliot saw her.

Her weight had significantly dropped after she had the twins, mostly because of her rough pregnancy and slightly because she was determined to be perfect for her wedding, despite the fact that Elliot wouldn't have thought any less regardless how she looked. She didn't even have stretchmarks. The only thing that truly rounded her curves were her boobs which were sore and in desperate need of her two twins.

Surprised that Elliot was still curled in bed, she left their room and tip toed down the hall to the nursery. The room which was decked out in warm and pale neutral colors was just receiving sunlight. Olivia picked up a few stuffed animals and children's books before giving her attention to the two tiny bodies in separate cribs. Both of them had Olivia's unmistakable brown eyes and full pink lips. They each had her soft brown curls and sweet smile. Their ears and nose, no doubt belong to Elliot but that was all he could take credit for.

Knowing that Evelyn would wake up before Rosalie , Olivia scooped her out of the crib mercilessly, aching for the sensation of her daughter's small lips around her. She took the now fidgety baby to the other end of the room and sat in the rocking chair. She unbuttoned Elliot's shirt just enough for Evelyn to hatch on and waited patiently for her feeding to begin. Like Olivia had predicted, Elliot had woken up noticing her absence. He too brushed his teeth before endlessly searching their home for Olivia.

He was unusually surprised to find her in the nursery because she'd always been so keen on him bringing the twins to their bedroom. He tip toed in careful not to wake Rosalie and stood over Olivia and Evelyn before kissing her messy hair. He loved seeing Olivia and the girls so close to each other. He appreciated every moment he had with them very strongly since their birth nearly six months ago.

He remembered his sickening panic as he listened to Olivia's screams as she tried to give birth. She had insisted that everything be done at home in the most natural way possible, saying that she didn't trust the more than capable staff at any hospital.

She'd say, "El, if we can't trust them with a victim or a simple rape kit, what makes you think I'd trust them with our kids?" Elliot had to admit he wasn't really fond of having the kids in one of the hospitals in the city but an at home birth was insane and they suffered from their decision.

Olivia had been in labor for 22 hours and by the time it was over she had lost so much blood that they_ had_ to take her to the hospital. After her transfusion she had been delivered the news that she could no longer have children due to her now damaged uterus.

The news had disturbed them both for a while but they couldn't fret long now that they had two amazingly beautiful daughters. Now looking down at Evelyn who was eagerly eating, he realized that they really were blessed regardless of any setbacks. They didn't seem to need more of anything since Cragen became Commissioner and Elliot was promoted to Captain.

They had the house, the kids, the money rolled in and since Kathy had gotten engaged to some wealthy in town lawyer, Elliot's child support had drastically reduced to a few down payments every few months.

Elliot was eternally grateful for Kathy's assistance and cooperation, with her help he could focus on the more important things developing in his new life. They had even managed to become friends.

After a long and drawn out conversation with Olivia, Kathy had realized that Elliot was telling the truth when he said nothing had happened before their inevitable divorce but none of that mattered now. Their lives were separate and each was significantly happier.

"I have to go soon." Elliot whispered as he stroked her shoulder. Olivia nodded careful not to disturb their other daughter across the room. Elliot leaned in and kissed Olivia's soft lips before departing from her arms. He gently kissed Evelyn's face and smiled when her eyes fluttered open.

"Before you go, can you grab Rose so I can switch." she said quietly as she pulled Evelyn up to burp her. By the time Elliot had been precautious enough to lift Rosalie out of her crib, Evelyn was finished burping and was now reluctantly getting her diaper changed.

"You have to be home early for Leo's birthday."

"What time is everyone coming over?"

"Four thirty."

"Ok, I'll pick up the cake after work."

"Is everyone coming?"

"Fin, Munch, and Amanda are going to shuffle so someone reliable is at the precinct."

"Good enough for me," Olivia said. She walked out of the nursery and went back into her bedroom while Elliot followed. She placed Evelyn in her play pin and crawled back into bed. When she was in a decent position she too Rosalie from Elliot and began to feed her too.

When Elliot got in the shower he could still feel the strange tension coming from Olivia. There was something wrong with her and their short, uneventful conversation just validated that. She wasn't really angry just...empty, like she was missing something. So when Elliot stepped out of the shower, he decided to broach the subject.

"Liv?" Her eyes were fixed on the quiet television screen and refused to look at him, "Liv?" but that time she did.

"Hm?"

"Are you ok? You seem a little..." Elliot made a vague hand gesture.

"What? I'm fine." She said with a small smile.

"Liv, your not fine. You've barely said two words since last night."

"It's nothing really...we'll talk after you come back from work." Elliot shrugged and seemed satisfied with the answer for the moment. She had promised to talk later on tonight, and he wouldn't dare let her drop the subject that easily. Elliot kissed her again and then escaped down stairs. As Olivia sat in her bed she paid less and less attention to Rosalie and more and more to her surroundings.

It was true, something had been on her mind...several things. Since last night Olivia had been over come with a threatening feeling that something was wrong, much like the time when Jason Lewis had attacked her.

She wasn't sure if she should ignore the feeling or do something and yet more than anything else she couldn't figure out what or who would be bothering her. She had been on maternity leave since September and hadn't been in contact with anyone new. Not even her deranged neighbors. She was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed Calvin standing in the room.

"Mom?"

"Calvin." she said immediately smiling, trying to hide the fear that had no doubt been painted all over her face. She shifted putting more effort into trying to conceal her bare chest before motioning for Calvin to join her.

He had gotten in the habit of climbing into bed with her every morning after Elliot left for work. She grabbed the remote and turned to his cartoons before the silence had crept back into the room.

"Are you excited for today?" Calvin nodded in response and giggled at Tom Jerry.

"Is aunt Casey coming?"

"I think so." More silence. The doorbell rang. Olivia slid underneath the covers and closed the door behind her. She grabbed a blanket out of the nursery and covered Rosalie. The bell rang again. She finally came downstairs and opened the door. A young kid, no older than 22 stood outside her home holding a bouquet of roses.

"Olivia Benson?"

"Yes?" She knew right away that these weren't from Elliot, when the delivery boy had used her maiden name.

"Special delivery." He said shoving the flowers in her free hand and disappearing off her property. Olivia closed the door and set the flowers on the kitchen table. She grabbed the card that rested on the stems eager to find out who had sent them. As she read the card she frowned, dissapointed that it hadn't revealed who they were from. The card had only said _Miss you, see you soon._

No sooner than she finished the card, had Rosalie finished eating and was now wailing to be burped. Olivia repositioned her infant daughter on her shoulder and burped her as she walked back upstairs leaving the flowers in the kitchen to deal with later. When she returned to her bedroom she had placed Rosalie in her pin with Evelyn and took a shower. Within the hour she, Calvin and the twins had gotten dressed for Leo's party.

Olivia had begged Alex to take him last night so she'd have a moment to breathe and get everything done before the now three year old turned the place upside down. When she checked the time it was still early, which meant she had plenty of time to run out and get some things for the party. She loaded up the car with the twins, the diaper bag, the stroller, her purse...the keys.

"Ok, you ready?" Olivia asked Calvin as she locked the door but the boy had already ran into the back seat with his two sisters and buckled up while he waited for their mother.

"Mom come on!" Calvin complained. Olivia jiggled the door to make sure it was heavily locked and then finally turned to get in the car. In a matter of minutes they had drove off towards the city to meet Alex and Leo.

* * *

Amanda was ruefully annoyed that Nick had drug her all the way out to the city to go to FAO Schwarz. He had promised to take her out for lunch but had tricked her into helping him pick out a suitable gift for Leo.

"I don't understand why you have to go through all this trouble. Couldn't you just get the brat a teddy bear from CVS?" she complained.

"You know something Rollins, the level of your competence amazes me everyday." Nick shot back without giving her the benefit of eye contact. Amanda hated when he referred to her by her last name. She picked up a board game and threw it in his arms.

"There, fine. You have a gift. Let's go." Nick ignored her and placed the the game back on the shelf.

"No, it has to be something special...I think we should get him a bedtime book...and maybe a toy truck." Amanda groaned. "It has to be something special...it's been a while." Nick explained as he purchased a bag of popcorn from one of the mini vendors. It truly had been a while. After his incident at Elliot and Olivia's announcement party, Nick had shown up to work drunk almost everyday. When Cragen had finally approached him about his behavior, Nick admitted to drinking, saying it was his only escape from a more persistent reality. Naturally Cragen had him rehabilitated immediately.

Nick had been gone ever since. He had even missed Elliot and Olivia's wedding and everything since then. He had no idea how his colleagues would react to his return but he was determined that what ever they thought would be positive and welcoming.

He was sure of it. He damn near depended on Cragen's confidentiality on the subject. They both did. So it came to no surprise when Cragen had merely stated that Nick was assigned to go undercover for a more pending case.

"Well since your making up for lost time, you might as well get the twins something too." Nick's knuckles turned white as he clenched his jaw.

"I think that's a great idea," he said shoving the popcorn in Amanda's hand.

An hour later, Amanda was seemingly satisfied to be sitting in the corner of a small coffee shop across from Nick. He really hadn't spoken aside from asking her what she wanted to order. She wasn't sure if she was angry or generously understanding. She had stood by Nick through thick and thin.

When he went to rehab she was the one who visited him, not his so called wife or friends. No, it was just her and she felt like he owed her a little respect, regardless if she wasn't the woman he wanted to be with. So running out of options, she brought up the only thing he would answer to without a slight shrug or a discreet nod.

"Are you still going to do it?"

Nick stuffed a loaf of buttered bread in his mouth before saying anything. "I don't know...maybe. I want to."

"But?"

"Things are different now. There are more obstacles than before. It makes everything more complicated and something could go wrong..." his voice trailed off.

"You're scared aren't you?" Amanda said with a small grin on her face. She couldn't believe it. They'd spent so much time planning this charade and now he was backing out. Not that it wasn't with good reason. He was right, things had changed, and if they went through with the plan, it would no doubt be more risky.

"No. It's just like I said, a lot could go wrong."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet."

"But will you do something?"

"I will do something."

There were a lot of things, Amanda hated about Nick, but she couldn't deny how much she loved how driven he could be when he went after something he wanted.

"Come on, we're going to be late."

* * *

By 5pm, Elliot and Olivia's home had been filled to the brim with friends and family for Leo's birthday. The party, a sweet, sock monkey theme, was a hit. Olivia had single handedly put up all the decorations and cooked all the food with Calvin's help. Elliot had been her saving grace and delivered the cake at four like he promised.

While he put burgers and hot dogs on the grill for the guys, Olivia was stuck with the twins and the latest gossip, courtesy of Casey Novak but despite their distance no one could deny that the two were so clearly matched, especially Kathy. So as soon as Casey was stolen away by Calvin's desperate need of a wing man in flag football, Kathy made it a point to make the obvious known.

"So how does it feel to be Mrs. Elliot Stabler?" Kathy teased as she held Rosalie snug in her arms.

"It's the same as before and just as good." Olivia replied gleaming with pride.

"I really am happy for you and I'm happy Elliot's happy. I think I've always been..." Kathy's voice trailed off and was interrupted by a familiar kiss on her cheek.

"Hi honey, sorry I'm late. The jury was killing me," the man had said.

Kathy smiled and said, "Liv, you remember Rex don't you?"

"Absolutely. It's great to see you again." Olivia said as Rex shook her hand. "The boys are by the TV. Grab a beer. Enjoy yourself."

"I'd like that." Rex responded politely before leaving the girls back to their conversation.

"Men!" Kathy said as she and Olivia broke out in laughter. "God...I love Rex but sometimes there are these little things that just get under my skin."

"Oh, I know. Elliot drives me crazy. When we're in the kitchen, he never-

"Closes the refrigerator."

"Exactly. No matter what I do, he can't keep it closed."

"Rex never puts the cap back on the toothpaste, he just throws the tube in the sink. It amazes me that he even turns off the water." The girls were so lost in their conversation that they hadn't noticed Elliot standing there.

"Liv, do you think maybe it's time to bring the cake out?"

"What time is it?"

"Five thirty."

"Yeah, I'll get it."

"No, let me." Kathy offered as she handed Rosalie to Elliot.

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked.

"Yea of course."

"Ok, it's in the fridge, top shelf on the right." and with that Kathy had disappeared into the house. Elliot took her seat and sat across from Olivia.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, I think so," she said as she fed Evelyn the last of her baby food.

"What do you think it was?"

"I just got this feeling..."

"Everything will be fine Liv. What more could happen to us?" Elliot had a point. They had been through so much already, what else _could _happen to them?

"I guess your right."

"Just relax. We'll be fine. Everything's ok." Just then Kathy had brought out the huge cake and all of Leo's friends came kicking and screaming. Casey, Alex, Calvin and the Stabler kids stopped playing flag football, and Melinda and the boys crowded around the table to sing Happy Birthday to Leo.

Olivia and Elliot stood behind him with a video camera to catch Leo blowing out the candles and on his second try it was a success. Their guests had exploded into so much laughter and cheer that they had nearly scared the poor boy.

Just as Olivia was cutting up the cake, Nick and Amanda entered into their home.

"Jesus christ, this place is a fortress." Nick whispered under his breath.

"I told you." Amanda replied pushing by him to lead the way. "Ooh, I wonder who these are from." Amanda said as she admired the red roses on the kitchen table.

"Don't touch those!" Nick scolded. "They're not for you."

"Geesh, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Amanda said.

They headed out towards the back yard where they could hear the laughter. Outside, Nick suddenly felt very nervous as he saw all of his old colleagues. He got the sudden feeling that they all knew the truth and were silently judging him. In fact he was so paranoid that he hadn't realized Olivia walking in front of him as she called out his name.

"Nick? It's so good to see you! When did you get out?" she said lacing her free arm around his neck and sliding a friendly kiss on his cheek.

"It's good to see you too Liv. I've missed you...and who's this little princess?"

"This is Evelyn."

"My god, she looks just like you." Nick said as he made silly faces at the baby. "I brought something for Leo and the twins. I hope it's not too late."

"Of course not. You didn't have to get them anything."

"I wanted to," Nick smiled.

"You can put the gifts over there on the table." Olivia pointed before being distracted by one of Leo's friends.

"Miss Livia where's the potty?"

"Oh, sweety it's inside. Do you want me to take you?"

The little girl nodded and just like that Olivia was gone. Nick walked slowly to the table where Elliot, Fin and Don were standing to place the gifts on the table.

"Is that Amaro?" Fin commented as he saw the man walking towards them. Don's eyes narrowed on the approaching figure. As a recovering alcoholic he felt it was his duty to make sure Nick felt as welcome as possible.

"Nick...welcome back." Don said as he gave him a hearty hand shake. Nick returned it, truly grateful that someone had his best interest at heart.

"Elliot, Fin."

"Good to see you. Thanks for coming." Elliot said flatly. He never liked Nick, especially how comfortable he was around Olivia. His whole demeanor made Elliot feel like Nick had gained to much to fast. Fin raised his glass and then it was quiet until Rex noted something about the football game.

The party was over at six and Casey and Alex had stayed behind to help Olivia clean up afterwards. They had brought all the gifts inside for Leo to open and had put all the food away.

"Today turned out pretty well." Alex said as she dried off the damp dishes Olivia handed her while Casey threw out the gift wrapping paper into the trash.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, the theme was really cute and the kids seemed to love it."

"How crazy was Nick showing up?" Casey butted in as she peeked her head in the den. Elliot was crashed out on the couch with Rosalie on his chest and Calvin curled at his feet.

"Yeah that was really strange. Elliot didn't know about him coming back?" Alex asked.

"Actually, Don has that case. He told Elliot right before he left that he would take care of it." Olivia replied turning off the sink. The three of them crowded around the island as they continued their conversation.

"He looked uncomfortable." Casey noted.

"He probably just felt insecure after being away for so long." Alex defended.

"But about what? When ever Elliot and I took on a case we always jumped back into the swing of things."

"Yeah but not everybody's you and Elliot. You guys have been doing this for years," Alex pointed out. "So when are you going back?"

"Sometime next week. We just hired an aupair a few days ago."

"Oh isn't that when you like hire someone from a foreign country?" Casey asked.

"Yeah, it's a half decent program. I think the kids will like it."

"Will she teach them her language?" Alex asked.

"Actually she's from England, so there's really not much to teach."

"Boo you bore!" Casey fretted.

"Alright well it's getting late. I'm going to go to bed." Alex said as she pulled her hair in a pony tail

"You guys are going to stay right?"

"Yeah, we'll leave first thing in the morning." Casey ensured. They each gave Olivia a kiss before heading up stairs. One by one Olivia put all of her kids to bed before turning off the TV and waking up Elliot.

"Hey, El, sweety." She shook his shoulder and he fidgeted on the couch until his eyes opened. "It's time to go to bed."

"Yeah," he sighed."I'm up, I'll meet you up there."

"Make sure you turn off all the lights and lock the door." She said as Elliot sat up and nodded. She left him there to collect himself while she took a shower and got ready for bed. When she came out Elliot was still up watching TV. Naturally she found herself aching to lie underneath his arms and on his chest. She let Elliot stroke her hair for awhile before kissing his lips and saying good night but without realizing it, the kiss had lasted longer than she intended and pretty soon she was on her back with Elliot ruthlessly pounding inside her.

She clenched on to the broken sheets as she felt him deeply sliding in and out between her legs. Her little moans of ecstasy escaped within his mouth until he collapsed beside her weak body. She laid there completely still as Elliot throbbed inside of her while spilling the last of his desire into the depths of her womb. Their eyes met and he kissed the corner of her chin, both of them to breathless to say anything else. Little did they know that that would be the last time that either of them would be intimate in that house.

**So I'm not going to tell you what's going on. You're just going to have to keep reading but have no fear, most of your questions will be answered. Coming up next, discover the truth about Nick Amaro! What's going to happen to Elliot and Olivia? THERE WILL BE BLOOD!**


	17. The Calm Before The Storm

**ONE WEEK LATER**

Today was the day. Olivia rushed back and forth in her bedroom trying to get ready for work. The new aupair Anna had arrived two days ago and had been the biggest help Olivia could ever need. All the children grew very fond of her, except for Calvin.

He remained as far away from Anna as possible. Olivia suspected it was because he didn't want to get too close to the girl and was over all frightful of the idea that Anna would take away from his relationship with her. So Olivia warned that he'd just need some time before he could warm up to her.

Olivia flew down the flight of stairs with her purse strapped to her arm and her phone in her hand. She frantically texted Fin and Warner as she walked into the kitchen. All of her children were sitting around the table waiting for their breakfast.

"Ok Anna. I'm leaving. The girls have their bottles-"

"In the fridge, behind the baby food." Anna complied, her voice thick with a sweet English accent.

"Right, and Calvin has soccer practice today so -

"I have to pick him up at five thirty instead of three."

"Exactly. Make sure he leaves his cleats in the mud room, and don't let him talk you into snacks before dinner." Olivia reminded as she kissed Calvin's head. "Be good. I need you to hold down the fort until I get back." Calvin nodded before shoving another spoonful of pancakes in his mouth. He wouldn't look at her and Olivia assumed that he was just upset that she had to go back to work. "Hey, don't worry I'll be back."

"Promise?" Calvin asked earnestly.

"Cross my heart." She kissed him again.

"My number's on the fridge in case of an emergency." Olivia called out as she rushed out the door. She made it to the precinct in record time and was eager to start her day. She loved spending time with the kids and she'd miss them like crazy but it felt so good to be back. She couldn't wait to be on the field again and pull out her badge just because she could.

She took the stairs two by two and kept going until the doors of the 1-6 opened and let her in. When Fin saw her he started clapping provoking everyone else to whistle and praise her return.

"Thank god! The queen has returned," Fin announced. Olivia smiled taking in the love. She looked around half expecting things to change but then realized the only thing that had was her. The last time she'd been in this room, she wasn't a real mother or a wife. She was just Olivia Benson like always, but this time everything felt so much stronger and so much more right. For the first time in her whole life she felt complete.

"Fin talk to me," she begged.

"Should I tell her or should you?" Fin asked Nick who handed Olivia a cup of coffee.

"Two creams and fresh sugar."

"Perfect," Olivia smiled in thanks.

"We've got a big case." Nick started. "We've been going at it for almost three weeks now." He lead Olivia to the sketch board, showing her the network. "About two weeks ago we get a girl in here, seven years old, no teeth and a burned genitalia. She has to write down what happen to her because when she speaks everything she says is inaudible. Turns out she's here with about two hundred girls ranging from 5 to 23 and they're all being trafficked between New York and Pennsylvania.

"Now we believe that the whole system is being run by this guy." Nick pointed to a picture of a thirty something year old, Spanish male. "His name is Calo Romero. Immigrations say he came over about two years ago with his three brothers; Luis, Antony and Santino. So far their involvement in the operation is unknown but we do know that Santino, the youngest brother, makes frequent trips outside of the country."

"What does Elliot say?" Olivia asked quietly.

"He's out right now with Munch hunting down a lead but we may have to go undercover."

"For how long?"

"A week or so."

"I'll do it," Olivia offered confidently.

"Woah, woah, woah, slow down Liv. You just got back. You're not ready for this," Fin scolded. "Your ass just got back in the mix. You got four kids waiting at home for you and you haven't had a gun in your hand in almost a year. Let's take it down a notch. We'll send Rollins."

"Fin, I appreciate your concern but you have to let me do my job." Olivia replied with every ounce of integrity she had.

"Yeah alright, but I'm not vouching for you when the Cap comes back." Fin growled giving Nick an annoyed look before walking away.

"Do you really want to do this?" Nick asked. A bit of excitement had sparked in his eyes that made Olivia feel better about her decision.

"Yeah, I think it's a perfect way for me to ease back into the swing of things."

"You'll be great. I know it."

"Liv!" Elliot yelled from a cross the room. "I need your help we've got two DBs down in the subway," and that's all it took. Olivia dropped everything and ran out to aid some poor helpless soul. From 8 that morning until 8 that night. She slaved in the 1-6 studying the case until she decided it was time to go home. That night at dinner she discussed the case with Elliot for the first time. He had been smart enough to follow Cragen's plan where they worked on two completely different schedules so they could avoid IAB but it meant that they never really crossed paths unless it was absolutely necessary.

"So I talked to Nick today," she began. "I'm going under cover with him next week."

"No. No you're not. The kids need you, I need you."

"Elliot-

"Liv think about it. We just hired this new girl, do you really want to leave her here with all that responsibility? And Nick could be out there for months, or don't you remember his last case?"

"Elliot I've already made my decision."

"Olivia, think about what you're doing. Please, just for a minute, just think because I doubt you've thought this through."

"Elliot there are five year old children being sold and raped in our backyard. I'm not going to stand by and wait for something to happen. Don't you know me? I have to help them. I'm capable of helping them and if you get in my way I will never forgive you or worse I won't forgive myself." Elliot sighed.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow. I'm not sending you into this thing blind."

* * *

The next day Elliot brought Nick into his office and it was agreed that Olivia would go undercover for a week's time.

"Seven days, that's it. Then I want Rollins to come in and replace Olivia."

"So basically she's just staying for the stake out?" Nick frowned. He was annoyed that Elliot hadn't trusted Olivia enough to take care of herself. He knew how strong she'd become after Elliot decided to be an ass and runaway from his problems.

Olivia was the type of person who approached her obstacles head on and he admired that about her, it was one of his favorite qualities that she had. The fact that Elliot was oblivious to the best parts of her pissed him off.

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"Olivia can handle herself, she's a big girl."

"You know Nick...there's a reason why most people don't challenge what I say." Elliot said grinning the way he did when he grilled a perp who thought he was stupid enough to believe their half ass stories. "Olivia stays a week. You don't like it, then find somebody else."

Nick smiled back. "One week Elliot. Don't worry I'll take good care of her." Nick stood and left the room without another word. The more he thought about it the better the idea seemed.

"Hey, I got you in." Nick said breezing by Olivia's desk.

"For how long?"

"One week." Olivia sighed with relief.

"That's a start."

"A pretty good one."

"So what happens next."

"We go in, then before anything gets too rough, you and Amanda will switch." Olivia wanted to complain but she knew that Elliot was taking a big step letting her go out there like before when things were less complicated. Her plan was to go and get as much done as possible. She was determined to do any and everything she could to help those girls.

"When do we leave?"

"Sunday, so pack light."

"I will." From across the room Amanda sat at her desk pretending to be typing away at her computer but her eyes were fixed on Olivia and Nick. It felt like an eternity before their conversation was finally finished and when it was and Nick had passed her desk making a point to give her eye contact, Amanda picked up her phone and contacted a particular district attorney.

* * *

Olivia felt weird taking a lunch break with Alex. She'd just gotten back into the precinct and she felt like she was cheating.

"So how's the Romero case going?" Alex said seated firmly behind her desk. She was eating a salad on top of layers of paperwork.

"It's going and after this UC job I'm afraid it'll go too far."

"You're going undercover?" Alex criticized.

"Great, you too?" Olivia sighed.

"Honey, we just want what's best for you and the kids. No body doubts that your capable of doing this, but your not the same person anymore. Your not just responsible for your life Liv."

"That's exactly right Alex. I am responsible for other people. That's my job and if it means I have to stake out for a week to protect my responsibilities then that's what I'm going to do."

"I'm not going to argue with you." Alex responded quiet with contempt. Olivia could be hard to persuade, especially when it came to her victims.

"With the amount of work you've got to catch up on, it's a miracle we're even having this conversation."

"I know, Donnelly's been ramming my ass with all these cases."

"You're still working for her?"

"More like with her. Can't you tell?" Olivia nodded before getting the courage to speak about what was really on her mind.

"So I have a favor to ask you."

"Why do I get the feeling this isn't about warrants or subpoenas?"

"Because it's not." Olivia's voice trailed off.

"Liv?" Alex became very serious very quickly.

"Well it's just that..." Olivia stood up. The room was becoming smaller by the minute and it was almost hard for her to breathe. "With all this talk about me going out on the field again and the chances of something happening to me, I realized that I haven't left behind a will or given any instruction on what to do with the kids if anything...if anything should ever happen to me or Elliot."

"I know a friend upstairs that you can talk too. He's great everybody here uses him."

"That's just thing, it has to be you."

"Olivia, I'm not qualified -"

"New York law says that a person of the state can administer the last will and testament after the death of a testator."

"Not just any person, Olivia it has to be an executor."

"You're in law for christ's sake, how much more do they want?"

"A lot more."

"Alex, please. I'm asking you as a friend."

"I can take your statement, but I'd have to talk with Donnelly to see how I can get it validated. Does Elliot know?"

"We talked about it last night."

"Good. Meet me here after work. I'll be ready."

"Thank you."

"Just don't get yourself killed anytime soon."

* * *

At home Olivia was cleaning the dishes when Calvin came down stairs. He had surprised her when she felt two small arms wrap around her.

"Hey kiddo what are you still doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Do you want some cookies?" Calvin nodded and waited patiently for Olivia to finish her chore. "Since when are you so quiet?" Calvin shrugged his shoulders.

"Are you really going away?"

"Only for a little while and then I'll be back."

"I don't want you to go. I want you to stay here with me and Leo and Rose and Evee."

"Calvin you know I have to. It's for work," she said pulling out a stack of Oreos. They split them in half and licked the cream before dunking them in the milk. "Do you like Anna?"

"She talks funny."

Olivia snorted and laughed under her breath. "She's from England."

"Do all people from England talk like that?"

"Some of them do."

"Do any of them talk like us?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Are you and dad going to have another baby?"

Olivia's skin went cold and her throat got tight before she could speak. "No...just Lina and Rose."

"Why not?"

"Because sometimes...sometimes moms and dads are only allowed to have a certain amount of kids."

"That's silly."

"Yeah...it is. Come on kiddo. It's time for bed and you have school tomorrow." Calvin put his cup in the sink and jumped off the island. When Olivia tucked him into bed he made sure to give her two kisses before yawning in her face. By the time she'd gotten into her own bed it was well after ten. Elliot was passed out and even though she was exhausted she couldn't sleep. She rolled over to Elliot's side of the bed and laced her limbs between his, it was the desperate comfort she needed that only he could give even if he wasn't exactly all ears.

Despite everything they had and everything they were, Olivia still felt like she'd failed him in some mysterious way. She always felt like he out did her when it came to showing affection. He could tell her he loved her in so many ways but she could only rely on cooking dinner and what ever went on between them behind closed doors. She didn't beat herself up about it often but when she did it would eat at her for days. It was like she was suddenly the peak of of her deceased mother's expectations. She wouldn't deny that it had everything to do with what Calvin had said but it was so much more than that.

She started to question whether or not she should go undercover, Elliot didn't want her too and he was right about leaving the kids behind. She had to ask herself if she understood that things weren't the same as before and people- her kids depended on her.

Then she beat herself up about not listening to Elliot when he suggested going away and going to a hospital outside the city when the twins were born. She even thought about the mysterious flowers she received from a secret admirer. She was all bent out of shape and she went on like this for hours until her eyes wanted to close and by then it was nearly 3am.

Olivia didn't have to leave until that evening and since it was Sunday she could spend the day with the kids because it was her day off. She packed lightly as Nick had advised and kissed all her children two and three times.

"Mommy's going to be back ok?" Olivia ensured Leo who was still clinging to her. "Calvin if you need anything just call. Dad will be home soon." Calvin nodded quietly. Olivia thanked Anna and left trying hard not to look back.

She arrived at the precinct with just enough time to put her things in the car she and Nick would be taking. When she walked in Elliot was getting his notes ready to prep them both on strategy and game plan.

"Ok...you guys are going to be leaving here in about thirty minutes. You should reach Philadelphia in about two hours tops. Your objective is to stay in town for a week, acquaint yourself with the people there and ask about Romero. Supposedly he's got a workshop about half a mile from center city."

"What's our cover?" Nick asked.

"Newlyweds. You hear Romero's selling kids, you think maybe he'll let you keep one for adoption or use as a surrogate. Amanda will come in Saturday night, you guys will exchange information and she'll take your place." Elliot said as he looked at Olivia.

"But that doesn't make any sense. If I'm playing the wife where does Amanda come in and take my place?"

"Amanda's your cousin. She's going to inform you of a family emergency and you're going to have to leave. Now you and Nick want this baby so you ask her to sit in for you until you get back."

"It could work. It'll just be-"

"Complicated." Olivia said, finishing Nick's sentence. Just then Fin came in and threw a set of keys at Nick.

"You two better hit the road before gets to late."

"Show time." Nick said as he walked out the precinct. Olivia followed but before she left she looked back, like a magnate Elliot had been right behind her waiting for her to look into his eyes one more time.

"You make sure you come back," he whispered. Olivia kissed him hard and strong for as long as she could.

"I love you," she said and then she was gone.

Forty five minutes later, across town, Olivia sat in the passenger seat going over their cover.

"So you and I are Mr. and Mrs. Lopez."

"That's hot...like the actress."

Olivia rolled her eyes and smiled. "To bad we don't have her bank account. It says here that you are in with a local mechanic and I'm a school teacher."

"It's not so bad. I kind of like it. It's ideal. Where are we from?"

"New York."

"No I mean our family. The Spanish and Mexican community are very big on that. They'll want to know if they're serious."

"It doesn't say."

"Ok, let's go with Peru. They'll have a difficult time trying to trace us down there."

"Sounds good to me." Olivia said as the pulled into a gas station.

"Hey we're almost there. I'm starving, you want to a cup of coffee or something before we go in?"

"Coffee would be nice thanks."

"Sure." Nick got out of the car and pumped the gas before heading in for Olivia's coffee. In side the convenience store Nick paced the aisles one by one. He looked through a magazine and ate a glazed doughnut before grabbing a handful of chocolate bars and finally making Olivia's coffee. He walked up to the cash register and placed everything on the counter.

"Tony! Good to see you my man. How's everything?" Nick asked the clerk.

"Nick? Back already?"

"Yeah. I've got some business I have to take care of."

"Everything's fine here. Sheila asked for you."

"Did she?"

"Yeah, still in love with that little girl of yours. How's things going between you and your wife?"

"I'm hoping that after this week, things will be right back where they should be and with any luck maybe next time I'll have another girl to bring to Sheila."

"Alrighty now! Well listen if you need anything just give me a ring."

"I will, I will Tony."

"Hey, you need sugar for that Joe?"

"No, no I've already put something in it. It's got a real kick."

"If you say say so. You be careful Nick."

"Yeah!" he called as he left the store. He jumped back into the car and handed Olivia her coffee. "Sorry about the wait, they ran out of filters."

"Mm, it's fine." Olivia said as she took a sip. Nick pulled off and started on the road again.

"You know Olivia, I think you and I are going to have a great time on this case." Nick said as he started to speak. Olivia dropped the files in her hand and they slid off her lap onto the floor.

"Nick could you...slow down," she asked. She felt like she was in a drying machine. She opened up one of the windows and let the air come into the car.

"I think we're going to get a chance to know each other so much better." Her head began to spin. "You know this was all Zara's idea. She loves you so much. She thinks you're just perfect and I can't disagree." He laughed to himself. "You probably think I'm crazy but I promise it'll all be over soon. Not too soon though."


	18. Under Suspicion

**Hello and welcome new followers! Next chap is lengthy but crucial! BTW I sort of changed the location to Center City, Philadelphia only because there's stuff for them to do and places for them to go, Taberg was kinda...in the middle of no where. Sorry for the confusion, change is revised in chap 17.  
**

* * *

**NIGHT**

Exactly ten minutes later, Nick pulled up to the hotel and stepped out of the car. The valet stood patiently waiting for the keys. Nick handed them to him and then opened the door for an unconscious Olivia. He wrapped her around his shoulder and carried her in while the staff brought in their bags.

A few minutes after Olivia had passed out, Elliot called with the final details of their location. For the next week, he and Olivia would be staying at the Ritz Carlton, in the very heart of center city. Nick had only eber heard of good things about the place and up until now he hadn't had the luxury of experiencing the hotel.

"Hi, checking in for Lopez."

The receptionist had eyed them up suspiciously before complying with his request. "I have the penthouse, 31st floor, paid in full for the remainder of the week."

"That's us." The receptionist motioned for the gentlemen with their bags to come over.

"James would you help Mr. Lopez and his...guest to their room."

"Absolutely, right this way sir." James took the key from the receptionist and with their bags, led Nick and Olivia to the elevator. As soon as the door closed, Nick broached the subject.

"Crazy night!" he laughed looking down at Olivia.

"Are you from out of town?"

"New York actually. We came down to spend some time together and take a break from work. I like to take her out to nice places and well..."

"It happens to the best of us," the doorman said smiling. "Would you like me to send anything up for you?"

"Asprin would be great."

"I'll have it delivered shortly. Also meals will be served throughout the day beginning at 7am and concluding at 7pm. All additional services can be wired through room service." Nick smiled back as he heard the small ding that indicated they had arrived at their destination. The doorman put in the key and the elevator doors opened revealing the luxurious suite.

"You can just leave them at the door." Nick called out as he went into the bedroom to place Olivia down. He came back out and tipped the gentlemen. "Thanks man I appreciate it."

"Have a good night sir and enjoy your stay." Nick waved goodbye and waited until the the elevator doors closed again and left him alone in the suite. If he had ever doubted it before, Stabler was a one of a kind guy. He made sure Olivia always had the best so Nick knew it was going to be hard trying to top that.

The penthouse was filled with rich fabrics and furniture. The suite featured two bedrooms, each with king beds, two and a half baths, a living room, dining room, den, full kitchen and incomparable panoramic city views.

He took their bags and started to unpack their things. When he was finished he took a look at the view. It was a beautiful night and the city was still alive with excitement. He couldn't wait for things to follow through. The whole thing was like watching dominoes fall into place. He knew how their week would go. It would be difficult at first but they'd be together and that was an idea he was satisfied with.

He took out Romero's file and dialed the number on the back. He listened in on the dial tone until someone answered on the other line. He checked on Olivia to make sure she was still sleeping and then brought his attention back to the phone. Despite how indirectly alone he was, he still spoke quietly.

"_Hey...We just got in...Alive...No not until tomorrow...Did you contact him?...Trust me, having him here will only make it sweeter...I am, you just make sure you do your part and follow through...Are things busy?...I'll see how things go and I'll call you when I hear anything...Yeah...see you soon_." When Nick got off the phone he checked on Olivia again.

As he stood in her doorway he stared at her with a lust that ate at his body from the inside out. She was like a gift that he was dying to unwrap; every inch of her, every detail excited him with a desire that he'd never known and all he had to do was wait until morning.

They would be together for seven days and he was going to make sure that they spent every moment together. His thoughts were making him anxious so he left her to sleep and went back to the file on Romero. He skimmed the case and jotted down a few notes for about an hour. He was only interested in the details that concerned he and Olivia's cover.

Those were the only ones that mattered. Everything else was an indisposition. When ten rolled around, Nick double and triple checked that everything was ready and when he was finished he took a bottle of alcohol from the mini bar, drenched the file over the sink and lit it with a match. He stood there and watched Romero's file burn until it was nothing but ash.

**DAY 1**

Olivia woke up the next morning in the hotel suite. Before she opened her eyes she could hear the light clatter of spoons and cutlery and dishes banging together. Her vision was blurry and her body temperature was exceptionally high. She was so hot that she could feel the sweat sliding off her skin. She could make out a dark figure moving in front of her and as the time passed she began to see that it was Nick.

"Good morning beautiful. I made you some tea. It should bring your temperature down. I know the heat must be killing you. That's the only thing about heavy sedatives, they make you melt like ice cream on the fourth of July." Nick explained as he smiled at her. "You know back in narcotics they'd use to sell this stuff for a few dollars to the high school kids. They used to think they were getting over on somebody," he said laughing as he recalled the memory. "And now you get to try it. The first time is the hardest but after a while it reduces to a little urge. Get some sleep I'll be back later," he said as he brushed a strand of her hair away. He thought to kiss her but he didn't want to frighten her to fast.

Despite her rising temperature, Olivia shivered underneath the sheets. Nick's words were slowly traveling around her head as she tried to process what he had said. _Did he know what was wrong with her? Narcotics...but Fin...what did he mean by urge? Did he give me something? What happened? Why is it so hot in here?_ She tried to move but her body was too sore to function. She tried to move her hands and arms but it was as if some unknown force was constraining her to the bed. She fidgeted for a while until she decided to give up. She was too tired to go on. She just needed to rest. She closed her eyes again, dying to escape the physical trauma she was undergoing.

**DAY 1 [NIGHT]**

When Olivia woke up for the second time she felt profoundly different from before. She pulled back the sheets and got out of bed. It wasn't until she stood on her own two feet that she noticed she was in a white, cotton gown. She picked at the unfamiliar fabric as she wondered about it's origin. She spotted her bags by the door and her things neatly laid out for her on the night table. The hotel room was unlike anything she had ever seen and she knew right away Elliot had something to do with it. She smiled at the thought of him but was quickly discouraged as a wave of heat hit her again.

Eager to know what happened she decided to leave the room. As she opened the door she could hear the faint sound of music and a man, which she assumed to be Nick, singing the words horribly off key. She came out into the dining room where Nick was sitting in front of a feast. She was annoyed that he didn't have a shirt on but then again he didn't exactly know she was in the room with him either. She sat on the couch across from him expecting him to notice but he didn't. She cleared her throat and watched him swing around at the sound of her fluttered voice.

"Oh you're up. I hope you're hungry. They just delivered our food. Did you sleep well?"

"What happened?"

"You passed out." Nick said nonchalantly as he buttered some bread. He'd decided to tell her the truth to some degree. He knew he'd have to start speaking and giving her answers in order to keep her satisfied and comfortable. "On our way here you passed out. We were about twenty minutes from the site and you were burning up."

Her face was still skeptical. "I carried you in and threw you into the bath tub. Your clothes were ruined by the time I took you out. I wasn't going to through you in bed with wet clothes on and I wasn't going to leave you in the tub unconscious so I changed you into one of the gowns that was left in the room. I thought maybe the couple from last time had left it behind but anyway...I guess you're ok now."

Olivia didn't know what to believe. A part of her wanted to trust Nick but another part of her felt threatened and endangered. She was still hot and her head hurt from all the abrupt exposure in the room. She tried to remember their first encounter but she was thrown off by how much time had passed. _Hadn't he mentioned something about July...the heat...I tried something..._the more she thought about it the more she lost.

"So are you going to eat?"

"No," she said quietly. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Bathroom's down the hall, first room on your right." Olivia slowly got up from her chair and walked away. She suddenly felt claustrophobic. She needed to get out of the damned cotton dress. Her skin was sticky from all the sweat and she felt light headed. As soon as she got into the bathroom she peeled the dress from her body and stood underneath the cool water.

She wasn't scared just lost and that bothered her. She had no comprehension of what happened to her the night before. Everything felt foggy and disoriented. She wondered if she should panic. She wished Elliot was on the case with her instead of Nick. She wished Elliot had been the one to nurse her back to health from what ever the hell was going on with her. She wished Elliot was eating dinner in the other room and more than anything else she had wished that she could hear Elliot's voice.

She was certain it was the only thing that could save her from this strange and unusual dilemma. She just needed to hear his him speak. She could imagine the rest; his big arms wrapped around her, his soft lips pressed on her forehead, his fingers stroking her hair. Olivia sighed and slid down the shower wall. She just needed to relax. The important thing was that she was ok and in all honesty she didn't believe Nick was capable of harming her.

Yesterday she wouldn't have thought twice about leaving the kids alone with him. She had trusted Nick so what was so different now? She'd just have to bring it down a notch. He did after all take care of her during her whole ordeal. As her skin began to cringe away from the cold water she decided she'd just have to be extra sharp. She wiped the water away from her face as she turned it off. This was going to be a long week.

After she got out of the shower, she got dressed and called Elliot.

"Hello?"

"Hey," replied. She tried to ignore the knot tightening in her throat when she'd heard Elliot's voice. They'd only been away from each other for a two days and it had felt like a lifetime. Olivia felt like every moment they spent together was unclear and uncertain, especially after he left because of Jenna. A part of her had learned to live without him and yet another couldn't bare the thought of breathing without him. The distance was killing her, but it would only be until Sunday, she reminded herself.

"Liv, where've you been? I've been trying to reach you all day."

"I know. I just...got a little sick," she lied. There no point in worrying him. It had took everything to convince Elliot that she was ready for the assignment and honestly she wasn't exactly sure what had happened to her anyway. A short answer would have to suffice for both of them.

"Do you want to come back? It's not to late to pull out of this thing."

"No, I should be fine I just needed some time to rest I guess. Hey, did Fin mention anything to you about narcotics?"

"No, why?"

"It's probably nothing I just thought I heard..."

"Liv?"

"Hm?"

"Are you ok? You seem lost."

"Yeah, no I'm fine really. How are the kids?"

"They're good. Can't wait for you to come home. Calvin's been writing you letters, I have them for you when you get back."

"And the twins?"

"The same as you left them; cute and cuddly." Olivia smiled at their inside joke. "Shit!"

"What? What's the matter?

"Leo's just spilled all the milk everywhere." Olivia closed her eyes and felt the stress Elliot was feeling. Out of there fifteen years in SVU nothing had ever been more stressful than parenthood. " Liv, I'm gonna have to call you back."

"Yeah, love you."

"Love you to sweety," and with that, their conversation had ended. Olivia curled up on the edge of her bed and looked around the empty room. Despite Nick's presence just outside her door, she had felt completely alone.

**DAY 2**

The next morning Olivia woke up early. The penthouse was quiet and warm despite the snow falling outside. She dressed warm and poured some coffee. While she waited, Nick had entered the room.

"Good morning," he said coming up behind her. Olivia turned to greet him and found his figure standing directly behind hers.

"Good morning," she responded as she extended a cup.

"Thank you." Nick noted the faint smile on her face before she started talking about business.

"So I was thinking we should go into town and ask around this morning so we can establish our story." Nick nodded in agreement. "Also I need Romero's file so I can go over everything before we leave."

"Mm." Nick mumbled as he sipped and swallowed. "I burned it."

"What?" Nick had to admit her face was priceless. He had seen it so many times before but this time she had only him to share it with. Her face was shocked, stunned and impatiently waiting for a damn good explanation.

"I burned it." Olivia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "But don't worry I wrote all the important things down; stuff regarding our cover, the brothers' names."

"Where?"

Nick pulled out a piece of paper from his jean pocket. "Everything's all in there." Olivia skimmed over his notes and prepped herself. It wasn't much but she'd have to work with it. "I can be ready in ten minutes." Olivia nodded without taking her eyes off the paper. The case, their lives and the fate of her victims relied on the information carelessly sprawled out on a post it note.

She knew why he did it; messing around with the Spanish community was dangerous. She only had to remind herself of what Alex went through before mentally scolding Nick to pieces. He was clearly two steps ahead of the game and his precautions would most likely help them in the end.

She read the paper three times before getting into the car. By the time she pulled around, Nick was waiting for her in front of the cabin. He had offered to drive but Olivia had been persistent. Their first stop was a diner on south. The two of them walked into the restaurant oblivious to their natural chemistry that was necessary for their charade. Olivia had been all smiles and Nick had been polite and attentive. They asked for a table for two and hoped their show was paying off.

"Welcome to Deeno's. What can I getcha?" The woman waiting on them was in her fifties and had clearly been working there for more than twenty years.

"Honey, what are you gonna get?" Nick asked.

"Just water."

"Adrien you have to eat," Nick said soothingly. Olivia turned her face from the waitress and started to cry. "Honey."

"I'm sorry. Just get what ever you want, I'll just be a minute I promise." Olivia got up from the booth and rushed away in search of a bathroom.

"I apologize for my wife. We've been going through a difficult time lately." Nick explained to the waitress playing on her sympathy.

"Is she going to be alright?"

"Yeah we just..." Nick cleared his throat. "We're just going through a ruff patch. She'll come back to me, she always does." He smiled politely to seal the deal.

"Oh darlin' I'm so sorry. You tell that girl she's mighty fine to have a man like you. I'll bring out the Tuesday special on the house. Ain't nothin' like silver dollars for silver tears." The waitress commented as she jotted down the order.

When she left, Olivia returned to the table. "Anything?"

"Nothing. I hope your hungry she ordered the special."

"I haven't cried like that since the twins were born,"

"Yeah it's a shame we didn't get anything."

"Maybe we did."

"What do you mean?"

"If Romero's got trafficking from here to Manhattan I'd say he's doing business with Child Welfare."

"So what do you want to do, go hunt down every foster parent in the city?"

"No, just the system."

"Wait a minute slow down. You start picking through the government the feds are going to get involved. We should just lay low and comb through the Spanish communities. If this guy's as big as they say he is, someone's going to know him."

Olivia sighed. The Romero case was big, almost too big and she knew she'd have to work around the edges to avoid the Feds like Nick said but his warning couldn't stop her from doing what she thought was right.

"I still want to talk to a few agencies."

"Fine," Nick huffed as he sat back into the booth.

**SOUTH PHILADELPHI****A  
**

Nick and Olivia pulled up in front of the tight street that contained nearly twelve residents.

"It's down there right?"

"Luis and Maria Sanchez, third one on the right," Nick confirmed. They got out of the car simultaneously and approached the house. Olivia smiled at the young girl who was playing in the street with her friends before knocking on the door. A small woman in her mid forties answered. Her distressed face indicated that she'd been working extensively and the frightful look in her eyes had only meant that immigrations had finally caught up to her.

"Maria Sanchez?" Olivia asked as she showed her badge.

"Yes?"

"My name is Olivia and this is my partner Nick. We'd like to ask you some questions if that's all right."

"But I'm still on my visa," Maria whimpered.

"It's ok Maria, we're not from immigrations. We just need to ask you a few things about some missing children," Olivia reassured. Maria was still horribly concerned about the true nature of their meeting but she let them in nonetheless.

"You'll have to be quick. Luis will be home soon and...he doesn't like company." Olivia had seen this a thousand times. So she handled the situation as cordially as possible.

"You don't have to worry, I'll only be a minute. Maria, have you noticed any new children on the block? Any girl's in particular?"

"No, no one I can think of. To be honest no one's moved here for sometime."

"How long would you say?"

"About four years."

"Ok...do you know a man named Calo? We're looking for him. He's not in any trouble we just need to talk to him."

"Calo...what's his last name?"

"Romero. He has two brothers."

"No, I know a Calo Rodriguez but he works in center city at one of the pizza shops. Lucio's I think."

"Thanks."

When they were finished, Maria had sent them out and on their way.

"Well that went well," Nick said sarcastically.

"Perps change their names all the time. Romero didn't even bother to choose different initials."

"Ok so we'll check out the pizzeria but we have to be back by five." Olivia looked at the time it was already quarter to four.

"Why?" she asked as she pulled away.

"Cragen got wind of the investigation. There's a ball tonight and he's asked for our audience. He said he has a friend that we can talk to, to help us along with the case."

"Great. We're going to need all the help we can get when we bring this guy down."

"You have no idea."

**LUCIO'S PIZZERIA**

"Hey, I'm looking for a Calo Rodriguez," Nick announced as he flashed his badge at the counter.

"You Ricky! Got a guy looking for Digo!" the cashier yelled as he took an order.

"Yeah!" an unseen voice yelled back.

The cashier motioned for Olivia and Nick to sit at one of the tables while they waited. Nick was just getting ready to look through one of the menus when a small boy approached them.

"Yes?" Olivia looked at the boy and then back at Nick. He couldn't have been older than twelve.

"Are you Calo Rodriguez?" she asked.

"Yes I'm Calo."

"I'm sorry there's been some kind of mistake," Olivia said standing up on her feet.

"Are you sure? Is this about the car accident yesterday? I did see it," Calo reasoned.

"No but you've been a great help." Olivia smiled before walking away. Though the boy had been a dead end, he reminded her of Calvin and in some small way her hunt for Romero had been victorious.

**RITZ CARLTON HOTEL**

"Hey Liv, you ready?" Nick shouted from the other end of the penthouse.

"Just a sec!" she yelled back. Upon arriving back at the hotel, Olivia and Nick received their tickets to the commissioners gala that evening. She had expected to see Cragen at the party so she made sure she was in top form. She put on her final touches and met Nick in the penthouse lobby. When Nick saw her emerge from the end of the hall he was speechless.

"Ok, all ready."

"Olivia..."

"What? Is something wrong with the dress?" she frantically asked as she picked away at the chiffon fabric on her skin.

"No, no it's perfect. You look beautiful." Nick said as he finally found the words to say and she truly was. Her chocolate brown hair had been tossed in long wavy curls. Every curve of her body had clung to the navy blue dress she wore. The one shoulder piece had elegantly run across her chest and wrap under her opposing arm. The length had stopped just shy of her golden legs which were elongated by the golden strapped heels she wore.

"Thank you. You look good to." Nick blushed in his perfectly tailored, black suit. Olivia fixed his tie sort of subconsciously. When ever she and Elliot went out she found herself repositioning the soft knot at his throat. He could never seem to get the damn thing on right and apparently neither could Nick. "There," she smiled.

Nick held out his hand as she buttoned up her coat. He trembled the moment her warm skin had touched his. He clenched her hand with such a tender, tight grip that Olivia could feel her wedding ring pierce her skin. As the elevator door closed behind them, every bone in Nick's body was trying hard to keep him from doing anything stupid. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves and was grateful the doors had opened as quickly as they closed. They stepped out into the lobby, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room and were escorted into the busy streets of center city by the valet.

The gala was an elegant affair with guests as prominent as the mayor within attendance. Cragen spotted Nick right away as he courted Olivia on his arm. The two of them looked stunning and for a moment he had missed the magic of SVU though it was shy of anything sweet and fantastic.

"You two look wonderful," Cragen said looking at Olivia as he leaned into kiss her cheek. "Nick, top form as always." Cragen teased as he armed his shoulder.  
"Come on, you guys have to meet Frankie." Cragen led Olivia and Nick to his table where he reserved their seats.

"Frank , I want you to meet one of my highly esteemed colleagues, Olivia Stabler and her partner Nick Amaro."

"Wonderful. My god Don, you did good." Frankie said as he raised his glass to them. His south Philly accent meant that he no doubt was Italian and a gentlemen at that. Frank Santorini was a gentle man and he smiled all the time, especially at beautiful women. "Se avessi un milione di dollari, mi piacerebbe portarti via in un posto dove ci sia vivrebbe. Voglio amarti come la luna e le stelle la mia piccola principessa." Frankie whispered to Olivia as she took her seat by him.

"Le tue parole mi lusingano ma sono sposato," Olivia said back. Frankie laughed clearly surprised that Olivia understood every word.

"Beautiful and Italian! Shit, I should have transferred to New York when you asked." Frankie joked to Don. "Your husband is a very lucky man."

"You have no idea," Nick chimed in.

"So, Don tells me that you're UC for a case?"

"Yes, actually that's why were here. We're supposed to be meeting with someone who can help us get through the Spanish community."

"Yep, that's me," Frankie gleamed.

"Frank's been in and out of the community investigating missing persons." Cragen explained.

"The fucking bastards. They think we're immigration but we're not, all we want is to find the little children and they say they no nothing because of fucking immigrations," Frankie said quietly, the smile finally vanishing from his face.

"Frankie's precinct has already lost seven children between the ages of six and eleven."

"Hey, hey, you think you know something about my kids? I want us to work together so we can nail this cazzo di merda to the wall." Frankie expressed with the kind of passion only Italians had.

"We feel the same way. The sooner the better," Nick said.

"Here, take this. Call me in the morning. I'll cap you off but tonight I plan on getting very drunk and eating with friends. Tonight is not for business. We need to remember what it's like to live again before we go back to the business of death." Frankie announced as he passed Olivia his card. He rose from his seat and immediately a young woman was at his side. "And now, I will go get a bottle of vino to celebrate eh!" Olivia chuckled as Frankie and the girl he was with walked away.

Cragen came over to her and held out his hand. "Dance with me before you go?"

"Absolutely."

Olivia giggled and laughed with Cragen on the dance floor as Nick watched from the table. His body tensed and twinged with sparks from across the room. He was anxious to know what they were talking about, especially since Olivia's expressions had gone from light and happy to solemn and lifeless.

"How's the case?" Cragen asked as he swayed Olivia in his fatherly arms.

"Dead," she replied. She wished Cragen had been more like Frankie and just used tonight as a way to escape it all for a moment but they were Manhattan SVU, dedicated detectives of an elite squad and crime didn't wait for justice.

"You haven't gotten any leads? I'm surprised. I thought for sure you would have been tailing the guy's ass by now." Cragen joked.

"Well, we had a few set backs."

"Like what?" Cragen asked concerned by the tone of Olivia's voice.

"I was completely out of it Monday and today our only witness gave us the go around."

"What happened Monday."

"I don't know. The last thing I remember was driving in the car with Nick."

"Then what?"

"I woke up in the hotel room last night," she shrugged.

"Olivia this is serious. It sounds like someone slipped you something."

"No, I don't think so. We planned to go straight to the hotel from the precinct so it's not like we actually went UC and became exposed to anything."

Cragen turned away from Olivia. He couldn't look her in the face while he imagined what could've happened to her.

"What did Nick say?"

"Just that I passed out in the car. He brought me in and nursed me back to health."

"Olivia that's against protocol. You know that. What if something happened to you?"

"I'm fine," Olivia reassured. "I'm sure we'll be booking Romero but the end of this week."

"Just be careful. I don't know what I'd do if...anything were to happen to you."

Olivia held his face in the cup of her hands. "Hey? You just make sure Elliot doesn't find out," she teased as if that was the biggest of their problems. Cragen softly pulled her hands away and kissed her forehead, the same as he did on her wedding day.

"Knock 'em dead kid. I'll take care of Elliot," he winked and brought her back to the table. "Hey Nick, take care of her."

"Won't let you down sir," Nick said standing for them. "You ready?"

"Yes," Olivia replied. Nick knew right away that she was bothered and that scared him.

"Right, I'll go get the car," he blurted out. He whisked through the guests and out of the building. He...just...needed...to breathe. He stormed out into the crisp air and paced back and forth in front of the building.

"Fuck!" he yelled as he fought with the air. He stopped walking and looked back wondering if he should go through with it. _Had he been sloppy? Did she know? Of course not, but she was suspicious and that was dangerous. _He walked away determined to get in the car where he would be safe from curious and prying eyes. He walked to the parking lot and started the care and as he pulled off he had every intention of finding out what Olivia had said to Cragen and he would do whatever was necessary to make sure she told him.

* * *

**So I know nothing really happened and this chapter is probably a waste of space but the TRUTH is coming I promise! Stay tuned!...Please!  
**


	19. A Change of Plans

**DAMN WRITERS BLOCK! I'm really sorry guys,I know what's going to happen in the end. I JUST NEED TO WRITE THE DAMN THING UGH! Don't mean to leave you guys hanging honest! As always thanks for all of your support, I'm going to try to make this a good one so if I do go under again at least it'll be on good terms. Not to worry though. We will all get through this!  
**

**Just want to take a quick moment to shout out Detective Olivia Benson: Thank you for updating Do Over you rock!**

* * *

**DAY 2 [NIGHT]**

Nick clutched onto the steering wheel, desperate to maintain control. His white knuckles flexed on the leather strapping and his nails had no doubt made permanent indentations on the steering tool. He pulled up in front of the building and rolled the windows down. He needed to breathe. His previous training in Iraq had taught him loads on physical management. While he waited for Olivia he anxiously pursued a breathing technique to help him calm his nerves. _1,2,3...1,2,3...1...2...3..._- it had worked like a lucky charm. Within moments his body had undergone a state of exhaustion. He pulled his tie out and unbuttoned his collar as he saw Olivia give Cragen a final kiss good night.

By the time she'd gotten into the car, Nick had riveted back into a serene state of mind. He couldn't yell or raise his voice. He couldn't interrogate her or ask about what she'd discussed with Cragen. No, he couldn't. His pieces were shaking but they hadn't fallen apart all together. He'd just need to take things slow. Everything _had_ to be reevaluated. He gently pulled off and honked the horn, watching the rear view mirror as Cragen waved.

"That was wonderful wasn't it?" Olivia chimed in as she watched the lights go by.

"Did you have a good time?" Nick asked quietly.

"I did...It was just what I needed. Sometimes when you do this job you feel like you're the only one working on the problem. Then you meet people like Santorini, and you see that they're working too. It's inspiring you know? I was reminded tonight of how much of a difference we can make...we just have to keep going."

Nick grinned at that. Despite everything about this case, he admired Olivia's will and determination to get to the bottom of it. And that's what scared him. He wondered if he had taken everything too far, if maybe he should have done things differently...but things weren't different and his odds were disarray. _Now was the chance, his chance_ _and he was going to hit it with his best shot._

"It'll all work out in the end you'll see...like dominoes...one by one, step-by-step." Nick replied as he finally came to a stop in front of the hotel. Simultaneously they stepped out of the car and walked in to the hotel. To look at them, they appeared to be like any happy, normal couple but between the two of them it had been nothing more than a charade- a game of intuition and illusion. Nick had come to this consensus as they stood next to each other in the elevator. _Yes it could work. _

The steel, sliding doors opened and let them in to their private sweet. Olivia had let a yawn escape from her mouth as she stepped onto the marble floors, her heels lightly tapping the stone as she walked. Nick could smell her perfume as she lingered from one end of the room to the next.

"So I guess we'll start fresh in the morning?" he asked, hoping to steal a few extra moments with her.

"Yeah. We'll get in touch with Santorini and get a game plan going. I only have a few more days and I at least want to get you and Amanda prepared for anything that comes up."

"Don't worry about Rollins we'll be fine. Just do what you came here to do." Nick responded as she hung up her coat. "How's Don?"

Olivia smiled as she thought of the man she had accepted and considered to be her father. "He's good...I miss him."

"Did he mention anything about the case?"

"Only that we're slacking."

Nick smiled for appearance's sake. "Right."

"See you in the morning?"

"Yeah," and just like that Olivia had vanished from his sight further into the dark suite.

**DAY 3**

The next morning when Olivia woke up it was only 6am and she'd felt so well rested. She scooted to the side of the bed, half expecting Elliot to roll to her side and relock her in his tight embrace but he wasn't there. Her body ached for him and yet the desire to hunt down Romero was equally oppressive. In one quick stride she got up and escaped into the bathroom to get ready. She'd been content on choosing her black pants and her white sweater so it took her no time to throw on a little makeup and clip her hair out of her face.

An hour later she was standing in the kitchen, sipping on a warm cup of tea waiting for Nick to emerge from his room. She'd just been on the phone with Santorini and they had both agreed to meet at his precinct to go over possible leads.

"Good morning," Nick said as he appeared in the dining room. He had dressed a lot more casually than Olivia had expected but Olivia decided to let it slide. He was wearing a tight long sleeve V-Neck and some ruffled jeans and sneakers and as he prepared his coffee he spoke to her in an unmistakable hushed tone.

"Did you speak with Frank?"

"Actually I just got off the phone with him. We're meeting at central in about twenty minutes."

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

"Ok let me just-" his phone began to ring. Nick stared down at the phone and debated on whether or not he should take the call. "Hey, hold on for a sec. I've got to take this." He slammed his coffee down on the table and rushed out of the room. When he finally got into safety behind closed doors he answered the phone.

"_What the hell are you doing. I told you specifically not to call before eleven!...What difference does it make!...No...I don't know she hasn't...Soon I think...why are you so interested in it anyway...so what it doesn't matter...she'll be fine...I have to go...What?...What do you mean? You were supposed to bring him! Goddamnit!...Can you do anything right?" _

Outside Olivia watched Nick's face change in a range of expressions. He had gone from agitated to straight on pissed, to concerned and finally annoyed. She wondered if they'd get out on a fresh start after all. She looked down at her watch. They were supposed to be at central in ten minutes.

"_You had better figure something out. He's our ticket out of this thing alive...I want him here, do you understand me? I don't care if you have to-"  
_Nick was interrupted by Olivia's gentle tap on his door.

"Hey wrap it up. We've gotta go," she whispered.

"Yes. Well make sure she's more careful next time and tell her I love her. I should be able to come see her in a few days after I get things going up here...you too. Bye." He hung up the phone. "I'm sorry. Zara had a little accident on her bike. I told my wife to fix the breaks...it was pretty much a no go." Nick explained as he brushed past her and grabbed his coat. "All set?"

"Yeah. Is she going to be ok?" Olivia asked as they stood in front of the elevator.

"She'll be fine. My girl's a fighter," he said as he gleamed down on her.

**PHILADELPHIA, CENTRAL PRECINCT  
**

When Olivia and Nick walked into the Philadelphia's central precinct they were mortified by the catalytic mess the place had been in. Everywhere officers ran back and forth picking up 911 calls and taking down notes, some were on coffee breaks, others were hauling in suspects and criminals for interrogation. Olivia stood in the middle of everything and felt as though just by breathing she was taking up too much space.

"Cara Mia, what a beautiful surprise. I was beginning to think you weren't going to make it." Frankie yelled from across the room as he made his way to their side.

"Honestly, I'm surprised we managed at all," Olivia shot.

Santorini recognized the flustered look on her face and knew it was because of the very well noticeable, disoriented environment they were in. He grinned slightly to himself.

"Hey look, they don't call it killadelphia for nothin' but don't worry about it, it's nottin but a cup of boozoos any away. Relax. Come with me. I've got something to show you." He rudely led the two of them further into the chaos as he pushed and shoved through fellow colleagues. In a flat matter of seconds he had taken them to a secluded section that no doubt was dedicated to the missing children's case.

The conference room looked as if it had housed five men- including Santorini for the past month. Old takeout boxes and scattered file cases covered the table while sleeping bags and computers had sheltered the floors and in the middle of it all was a great big white board covered in the faces of young victims. Olivia looked away as she knew the kids to be around the same age as her own children. Much to her dismay she found that she, Nick and Santorini weren't alone. She had expected this to be a professional meeting- well coordinated and productive, but considering how things looked she was sure everyone was on the same page.

"Olivia, Nick this is Jesso, Stantucci, Flannagan and McMurphy. Ladies these are the SVU detectives from the Bricks. Good, now that we've all met each other let's get down to business," Santorini said wasting no time for introductions.

"Their escalating," Jesso quipped as he place a red X on one of the children's faces. "New intel reports that five more have gone missing. All between the ages of-

"Four and sixteen. Yeah, yeah save your breath. We know the story." Flannagan said. Olivia was sure she had heard the voice come from underneath the table. _Guess I won't be sitting either_.

"So what exactly do you know about this case?" Nick began.

"Only that they're little girls. All of them come from urban areas, meaning that they ain't got no place to begin with, so who's gonna miss 'em? We're certain it's someone within the community and up until yesterday, human trafficking hadn't come into consideration. In Philly I think the number's like sixteen for it to qualify...I know Bricks is like ten. It's gotta be, with the amount of shit you bust each year," Santorini replied.

"Have there been any patterns in pick up or drop off?"

"None. This guy is completely random. He picks them up from school's, parks, on their way home from school, like, like, like fucking bread. Completely unpredictable and unannounced. He doesn't go to any one place twice and he's like a ghost. One minute he's there and the next...poof."

"And this guy's smart too. Doesn't even look back to see the damage he's done. He just keeps going and then a few hours go by- McMurphy says.

"Six hours gentlemen." Santorini cuts in again.

"Next thing we know, we got some crack headed loser complaining their kids gone missing," Flannagan finishes.

"Have any of them reappeared?" Olivia asked as she studied the faces.

"Not one. No tips. No witnesses. It's a friggin nightmare," Santorini said as he sat in the big chair at the head of the table.

"Alright. We know this guy's going back in, in approximately five hours, so I want every hot zone canvased in two. You put a civilian on every corner and a cop on every block. I need access to driving and surveillance cameras. Go to every school, I want tracking devices on every back pack and lunch box from pre-K to eleventh grade and then get me a copy of the files you have on each of the victims." Olivia ordered. Nick looked down at his feet grinning. She was the perfect blend of law and order and he knew that even if they didn't book Romero- which they wouldn't, at least they'd be helping the missing children here in Philly. Olivia would stop at nothing and he knew it.

"Alright boys chop, chop. You heard the woman," Santorini encouraged. As if to suddenly fall into formation, Flannagan, McMurphy, Stantucci and Jesso jumped on their feet grabbed their BDUs and walked out. "Jesus Cara. I didn't know you had it in you."

"I'm just trying to do my job," Olivia said quietly. She hadn't been able to get the children's faces out of her head and what was worse was how much she was beginning to imagine her own kids going through the horror of being kidnapped and abused.

"Hey why don't we grab a coffee. Amaro hold the fort down 'til we get back. How do you take your Joe?"

"Oh no, I'm good thanks."

"Suit yourself." Santorini said as he and Olivia left the room. While they were gone Nick examined the white board. When he had picked this case from a hat he hadn't anticipated that it would grow into such a magnitude. So many victims- young ones at that. Despite everything it comforted him that he and Olivia were on the case together. In fact he was so moved that he even wished that they found the guy before the week was out...but they weren't his responsibility. Olivia was and that's where he knew he'd have to draw the line. Yes, he would assist in any way but he had to make sure nothing happened until after Sunday. Everything depended on it.

Santorini spoke quickly as he and Olivia waited by the coffee maker. "So how did you learn Italian? You're pronunciation is very good."

"Oh, I took it as a hobby when I was younger...I uh-had a lot of time on my hands."

"Anyone in your family from Italy?"

"Not that I know of."

"You know I really can't tell you how much I appreciate having you and your partner on this case. I mean it really means a lot to me. Me and the boys have been workin' on this for a long time and you know, we're so used to everything happenin so fast but I mean you walked in there this mornin' and it was amazing. It was like I've never seen it before, like I wasn't a cop or somethin'...Yeah Don did well."

"How did you two meet?"

"Me and Donnie?" Santorini asked as he poured the coffee from the pot into two cups. Olivia nodded to indicate he was right. "We're family. His wife was my cousin...you know if I didn't know any better I'd say he got whacked after the accident but he's still standing...decent guy. He loved her and this world is so damn crazy, I couldn't really ask him to do anything else." He continued as he handed her her cup.

Olivia took the cup in her hand and was immediately struck with a vivid sensation from the pit of her body. She dropped the coffee and it spilled everywhere as she tried to balance herself. "Jesus fuckin' christ! I'm so sorry Cara. I didn't realize it was still hot."

"No, no..." Olivia said as her voice trailed off. Santorini eyed her up and down as she feverishly clutched on to the counter top.

"Hey, hey Olivia? You ok? You don't look so good." Olivia hadn't responded. Only a quick and sudden gasp had escaped from her lips. "Hey, maybe you should see a doctor."

"No, no, really I'm ok. I just..." Olivia was too embarrassed to say it. In one single moment she had gone from calm, cool and collected to undoubtedly turned on. In all the years that she's ever been with a man, no one and I mean no one had ever made her feel _this_ way before. Only Elliot had the power to unhinge her and by God after the twins were born she and him hadn't exactly been the sex animals they usually were for some time. She hadn't the slightest idea what had caused her to feel the particular way she was feeling right now but as she felt a warm trickle of fluid drip from her thigh she knew she had to say something.

"I just feel a little dizzy that's all."

"Well here why don't you sit down. Did you eat this morning?" Santorini asked as he pulled out a chair.

"No." Olivia replied faintly.

"That's probably it. Thank God. Donnie would kill me if anything were to happen to you. Here eat this."

"What is it?"

"It's lemon filled. My daughter loves 'em." He said as he offered her the doughnut. Olivia took the pastry from him careful to ensure that their skin didn't touch. She was so frightened and intimidated by Santorini that she was sure even the slightest touch would cause her to throw herself on him. She breathed slowly and carefully ate the doughnut, disappointed that it hadn't suppressed the ache between her legs.

"Ok, so what's our next move?"

"I'm not sure," Olivia whispered. She cleared her throat and then asked, "Do you have a bathroom?"

"Oh yeah of course. It's down the hall. First door on the left." She sprang from her seat and dashed out the door, desperate to be alone. Once she was in the bathroom she locked the door and turned on the cold water. She splashed some water in her face and debated on whether or not she should call Elliot. If she did, he'd make it worse and she wasn't exactly keen on phone sex..._or was she? _In all honesty, Olivia would have gotten on all fours if it meant that- A knock echoed on the door.

"Hey Cara, you alright in there?"

"I'm fine! I'll be just a minute," she called out but she wasn't fine. She was so hot! She felt like she was sunbathing on the beach. Every hair on her skin was ignited by the gentle sensation of heat. She feverishly peeled off her jacket and scooped her hair back up again to avoid any unnecessary agitation towards her already tender skin. Then before she was ready she opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom.

In her stride she had passed Santorini on her way out and was now anxious to get back into the conference room where there would be plenty of space between the two of them. Frank had quickly paced behind her to keep up but the woman was on a mission. When they walked back in they found Nick sitting at the table with vital documents at his disposal. He had already made himself more than comfortable. His jacket hung effortlessly behind his chair while he typed at his computer.

"Did you find anything?" she asked.

"So far it's a no go. Looks like we're just going to have to wait." _Olivia didn't have time to wait_. She looked down at her watch. They weren't expecting anything to happen for another three hours. So she decided now was her golden window of opportunity.

"Ok. Listen. I'm going back to the hotel to pick up a few things. I still have some notes from before. Nick you should call home and ask them to fax over Romero's picture so the squad has a canvas."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Not long. I just...need to take care of a few things."

"Oh..." Nick said as he looked at her. Of course he knew the traumatic state of incoherence her body was in and yet he just nodded as if to be completely oblivious to the situation and he was when it came down to Santorini's unmistakable gaze. He watch the transaction between the two and decided instantly that he didn't like the faint smile on Nick's face.

"Do you want me to give you a ride?" He offered as Olivia turned to leave.

"No it's ok Frankie. I'll only be just a minute." Santorini let her go but had still remained suspicious of Nick. He had waited until after Olivia left the room to interrogate him further on the matter.

"So, how long you two been workin' together?"

* * *

Years had passed before the elevator came to a halt and filled the four cornered space with a delicate _ding. _Olivia had never felt so grateful the simplicity of alone time in her entire life. She paced the long hallway and folded into the living room where she subsequently threw her keys. She was about to get a glass of water, when she heard the light rush of water coming from the shower.

She frowned and monitored the room. Elliot had booked the place for the week for them and would have warned if there had been any complications. Frustrated and curious, Olivia pulled out her gun, and became acutely aware of her surroundings. She closed in on her room and stood her ground outside her bathroom door. She was about to turn the nob when the rushing water sound came to an abrupt stop. She listened as the intruder opened up the shower curtains and stepped out onto the wet marble floors. She stepped back bracing herself and waited for the unknown.

Not a moment later, the door swung open with a wave of hot steam only to reveal Elliot Stabler perfectly sculpted in the lazy embrace of a towel.

"Liv?" This was her moment. A gasp of relief escaped from her mouth as she dropped her gun and attached her lips to his. Elliot let out a surprised groan as his wife and her gorgeously pensive lips, began pushing him further into the bathroom while pulling off her clothes. Elliot pulled away from her mouth, no doubt flattered but totally unprepared.

"Woah, woah, woah, slow down honey. We need to talk," Elliot informed as he pushed her away. Olivia fought to maintain the hold her lips could provide when she touched his as she leaned in closer to his drifting face.

"About what?"

"The case. Liv stop." Elliot ordered as she pushed away his towel and rubbed him tightly between her hands.

"I can't...I'm so hot..." Olivia informed between the kisses she planted conspicuously on Elliot's jaw-line.

"Liv, seriously we need to..." Elliot couldn't finish his sentence as his body reacted to her demanding touch. "Fuck!" He gasped. Who the hell was he kidding? Olivia had him down to a science, she had everything down to a science. That's part of the reason why he fell in love with her. She knew him. She knew how he liked his coffee and how he liked his meat. She knew what ticked him off and what turned him on but more than this she knew how to make him come and she didn't even have to try. To be honest she could do it in her sleep- come to think of it, she has.

"Yes, we do." Olivia replied finding his lips again. This time Elliot was in full control. He grabbed her arms and clenched his fists around them before slamming Olivia's body against the bathroom door. He let her go before causing her any true pain and used his hands to bring her kisses closer and harder to his, and to remove all the clothes that now stood between he and her. He had gone to unzip her pants but had found that her hands were already there messaging the silk sensation of pure lust between her fingers. She let out a whimpered gasp as Elliot pulled her hand away and tore down her pants.

"Are you wet for me Liv? Are you going to make me feel good?" Elliot teased as he caressed her face, holding her hands between his dominant clutch. Olivia fidgeted beneath him, too struck by his physical frame that she had paid no mind looking into his eyes. She leaned in again for another kiss but Elliot pulled back. She was right were he wanted her to be- soaking wet, burning hot, completely open and dying for him. He would take his time and coax out every single tingling sensation of pleasure that now sparked within her body.

He grinned at her as he reached behind her waist and she returned the gaze he was so desperately seeking as he held her within his arms from the small of her back. "How badly do you want it?" Elliot asked in such a low and raspy tone, that Olivia literally shivered in response. Her eyes gave out as they closed beneath the clutch of dark desire but it wasn't enough for Elliot. He forcefully yanked her chin and made her eyes open to look at him again. His lips drug themselves across hers and brushed over her nose and cheek. "Tell me what you want. I want to hear you say it."

"I want-" Olivia swallowed the dry spit in her throat and finished her sentence in such a low sigh that Elliot drove himself half mad looking for the answer. His clutch dropped from her chin to her throat in a matter of seconds. "Say it." He demanded to know. He gave it a gentle and tender squeeze- just tight enough for her to lose her thought.

"O god, I want you to come inside me." Olivia moaned as she stroked the strength of his skin.

"Is that it? You want me to come inside you?"

"Please El, I need you so bad. It hurts." Elliot was careful to hold the gaze as he leaned in and kissed her again. He pulled her closer so she could feel his hardness and then violently ripped away from the kiss and stood back smiling at what he'd just done. At this very moment, Olivia's hands were cuffed behind her back and she was not happy about it.

"Elliot give me the key," she demanded with an impatient tone.

"No."

"Elliot, give me the key,"

"No."

"Damn it Elliot. Un cuff me, now!" Elliot ignored her request as he drew closer to her, obviously amused by the whole affair. He started at the bottom and worked his way up, caressing her calves, then her thighs, further in between and higher until he found the zipper of her slacks. She splendored at the feeling of freedom when Elliot dragged the tiny zipper down from her waist. He slid down her pants and then indulged in her in a similar fashion when the time came to unbutton her blouse. One by one he unhooked button from cloth until he could see the beginnings of her blue laced bra.

Olivia licked her lips when she felt Elliot's hands brush against her skin. She was losing her mind. Her body was immensely over heated and spinning with anxiety. She was sore for him and she hadn't the slightest care in the world that he knew it. She was usually in control. She felt like Elliot owed her that much after he left. She had spent months with a similar feeling to the one she was experiencing right now. There had been countless nights when she had wished Elliot had been beside her in bed, holding and loving her.

When he came back, she wanted to be the one who was missed. She wanted him to beg for her. She wanted him to submit to her but now, the tables were turned once again and she knew Elliot was going to make her pay like hell. They usually made love on her time, but something in her was giving it away and Elliot wasn't wasting it either. Having successfully gotten her where he wanted, he lifted her up and pushed her further back onto the counter. His cock throbbed between them as he rubbed against her core. He kissed her so strongly that he had stolen the very air from her body. The sound of her muffled moans only toned him on more and before long it was too much for him too.

"Open your legs for me baby," he commanded with a low and raspy tone. Olivia willingly consented despite Elliot's rough hands plying them apart. She moaned as he took his fingers and rubbed her core. His fingers glided over her swollen skin like water on ice. She was full, smooth and completely open. He took advantage of the situation and jammed two fingers inside her. She groaned in ecstasy as he slid them in and out.

"El, Elliot please. Un cuff me."

"Does that feel good baby?"

"O god yes, El. So good. Faster baby." But Elliot hadn't said anything nor had he picked up his pace. He just slid them in and out, his body racked with curiosity as her fluids dripped from his wrist. She was so wet and so unbelievably sexy in that god damn lace bra. Elliot had gotten this strange feeling, like he was seeing her for the first time in a long time. Their sex life had always been more than great but had lacked something since Jason Lewis. He felt like every time they'd been together it was always on this ideal of healing, but now it was all about the tension and frustration. It was all about everything they had missed. To Elliot, all this was to good to be true. He wanted this with her again and he was going to take it for the both of them.

She tried to move against his fingers but he had her pinned to the wall. "O god El, baby please. I'm gonna come." Olivia moaned. Elliot didn't want that to happen so he removed his fingers from her heat and waited a few minutes before pursuing her further. He took his soaked hand and smeared it across her lips and face before kissing her again. He sucked the taste of her off of her mouth and used what was left to soften his rigid cock.

He kissed her some more and without warning he stepped into her and shoved all nine inches of himself into her. Olivia broke the kiss and cried out into his mouth. Elliot took in every resounding cry and consumed it as fuel for what he was about to do next. She was considerably tighter than before and he hadn't the slightest idea how that came to be as he began to pump himself between her legs he found it to be an incredibly difficult job. He grunted above her as she moaned beside his ear.

"Yes baby, fuck me. It's hurts so bad El, but i love it." Elliot fucked her with a strong and hard thrust. That's all they could manage. Despite how easily he had slipped into her entrance, screwing her was another story entirely. Elliot yanked at her neck to pull her in. They kissed again and again and again, their tongues fighting for dominance as his hard and incredibly thick cock rammed inside her. Elliot pushed down on her thighs for balance as he reached behind her and unclasped her bra.

With his teeth he pushed the lace piece away to have access to her breast. Olivia had just finished nursing the twins so he would still have to be careful but he had never felt so completely contempt when he took the soft flesh into his mouth. He kissed her ribs and ravaged her neck until he was certain he was done having his way with her. Neither of them were any where close to an orgasm so Elliot reluctantly released Olivia from her constraints.

Once her hands were free, Olivia wrapped her arms and legs around him, demolishing any space between the two. They were linked to one another and neither of them had any thoughts of separation.

"O god yes, fuck me harder El." Olivia begged. Elliot pulled her up in his arms and walked them into the bedroom where he threw her down on the perfectly laid out sheets. He took hold of her hips and pounded inside her with every force in his body.

"Aah fuck Liv. So fucking tight...jesus baby you're so tight." Elliot groaned as he watched himself sinking into her. Olivia caressed his biceps anxious to get him deeper.

"Make me come El," Olivia breathed. She felt like her head was splitting in two. "O god yes, fuck!" she yelled as he finally regained his form and could easily move inside her again.

"Shit!" Elliot groaned as he closed in on her. He could feel it building in his chest- the intensity. He roughly plunges into her hoping to give her what she wants before he does. He leans in closer to her body while continuing to shove himself into her. He pulls out to the tip and pushes back in to the hilt. It's suffocating. "Come, for me Liv," he pants in her ear. His body fills with exhaustion as his head falls on her chest. He gnaws at her collar bone, winning a vivacious scream from the pit of her throat.

"Fuck!" she sighed as she painfully clamped down on him. Elliot blindly moved inside her as she soaked his cock with her come. Her legs went stiff before they finally gave out. She heavily panted as the heat, and the burning ache fled from her body. Without letting him slide out from her body she pushes him into a sitting position, with her on top of him. They cling to each other as she rocks up and down on his cock at a weak and lazy pace. Their lips twist and turn as they meet each other for the upteenth time. Elliot grabs her ass and pulls her harder and harder and harder until his cock is so far thick and far and inside her that the only way to escape it, is to come. And that's exactly what he does.

Breaking the kiss a loud ground escapes his lips and shatters the room as he fills her with his creamy load. Olivia gasped as his warm come shot through her and harvested in the realm of her sex. They were completely spent and it had cost them nothing. They sit in each others arms for a moment before Olivia moves away from his embrace. She winces as his hot and rigid cock leaves her body and lies down on the bed. Elliot does the same, concerned that the cold air would hit him and provoke the means to make love to her again. He looks over to Olivia who's subsequently staring back at him, a gentle smile on her face as tears welled in her eyes.

"What did we do?" she asked. Elliot drove his fingers through her hair and brought her closer so he could kiss her. He sucked on her tongue and then the top of her lip seeing as though her bottom was swollen. He kissed her tears and held her in his arms as she softly cried.

"It's ok. Everything's going to be ok."

"Then why do I feel like this Elliot? Nothing could ever come from this. I'm no good any more."

"Hey!" Elliot yelled pushing her off of him. "Don't you ever say anything like that again! Do you hear me!" Olivia nodded. "I love you and you're wrong. Something has come from us. We've got Evelyn and Rose. We've got the boys and they're waiting for us. You've given me everything Liv and I love you, I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you, so you just gotta, you just gotta let it go."

"But I can't...but I can't make you happy."

"Says who? Olivia when I look at you, and I look at our family, everything is right. I'm convinced that their are no two people in this world as happy as you and I, and then you go off and you...you say things like that and I don't know anymore."

"How do I fix it Elliot?" In response he crawled behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist. Olivia put her hand on top of his and together they cradled the empty space of her torso. "It's not broken." he whispered. He kissed into her neck until she turned around to face him. They fell back into the bed and held each other. Their fingers and legs entwined. They closed their eyes, but neither of them were sleeping. There was only silence and in that void, so much had been said.

* * *

**IM NOT SAYING ANYTHING SO DON'T ASK, HAHAHA STAY TUNED ;)**


	20. Monster

**Just warning you guys, there is an incredibly extensive E/O scene is this chapter and I want you guys to know, that it's really, really, really crucial to the plot. Don't kill me 'cause it's really heavy. Readers discretion is advised!**

* * *

**DAY 3 [CONTINUED]**

"Why did you come here?" Olivia whispered.

"To talk about the case." Elliot replied.

"What about it?"

"We're re locating you and Nick. New intel says that Romero's moving further up north."

"North?"

"Yeah. Apparently he's got a drop off unit somewhere in the Poconos. Anyway you and Nick have to go up there and check it out...sure as hell would explain why you haven't gotten any leads.

"What about Santorini?"

"He'll be fine. He's got a more then capable squad down here. I'm sure they'll catch the guy."

"Elliot, I'm not leaving him when you can't even give me the security of your word."

"You married me, remember? I know how you feel about the case-about any case. Munch is here now aiding in Santorini's case. Right now there's just not enough evidence to assume that Romero's trafficking and the abductions in philly are linked and if anything comes up Munch will handle it."

"When do we leave?"

"You could leave now." Olivia sighed. Even after the beauty in everything they had just shared, somehow the crude reality of the world had crept back into their lives and now threatened to invade their intimacy. She untangled herself from Elliot and sat up, pushing the sheets aside so she could start to clean up. "By the way, that was...pretty good. How did you-" He was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Olivia?" Olivia and Elliot exchanged glances as Nick waited for an answer outside her door. Olivia snapped her fingers at Elliot motioning for him to go into the bathroom, but he was stubborn. She softly groaned in annoyance as she looked for a robe.

"Yeah?" she called out. Elliot threw one at her as she started to get on her knees. She caught the cozy fabric before it hit her face and slipped into it in one stroke. She opened the door just enough for Nick to see her face.

"Is everything alright? I tried to call you. Santorini said you'd gotten a little light headed. So I got you something from the pharmacy."

"Oh Nick, you didn't have to that. I'm fine really."

"Good. Did you get the call?"

"What call?" Olivia asked. Nick was getting ready to explain when he saw the dark, carnal, eyes of Elliot Stabler staring back at him. His thick frame stood behind Olivia in a protective way and even though the shirt was big on him, Nick could see his muscles flexing as he laced his arm around Olivia's waist and kissed her forehead.

"You're a little late on that one rookie," Elliot teased as he swayed Olivia in his embrace. She lightly hit at his arm embarrassed that her half naked husband was in front of her colleague and mocking him at that. She scoffed at him pissed that he would say something like that, when she had found out a moment ago herself.

"I should pack. I'll let you two...yeah."

"Yeah." Elliot quipped. When Nick turned to leave Olivia pushed Elliot back into the bedroom and slammed the door behind them.

"What the hell was that?"

"Relax Liv, so what. We're just having a little fun and besides its not like before where we could fired. I am the fire, and I get to burn whom ever I want." Elliot chuckled to himself.

"I don't give a rats ass about you torching someone Elliot. That was completely unprofessional. Jesus christ, don't you think some times?" Olivia argued as she gathered some of her things and headed into the bathroom. She kicked the door behind her, signaling that she was thoroughly upset but her emotional distress had only frustrated Elliot further.

"Oh is that what you want me to do? Think?" Elliot said as he pursued her further. Olivia sat at the edge of the bath tub filling it with water as he yelled some blur of vocabulary. "Yeah, I guess I should. Maybe it'll help, cause any other time that I'm not fucking your brains out I've gotta think about what it is that I'm doing. News flash Olivia, I don't have to do anything. I know what I'm doing and I know what makes me happy. I also know a slime ball when I see one-"

"Really Elliot a slime ball? What is this the second grade? Nick is a decent cop."

"Why, because he was 'there' when I wasn't? Give me a break Olivia. At the end of the day, I don't like the way he does business, bottom line."

"Then why is he still here?"

"Because I'm doing Cragen a favor." Olivia sighed, she was tired now. She wished they had a moments sleep during the last two hours they spent together. "What are you huffing and puffing about?"

"Nothing," Olivia replied as her eyes closed. Elliot pulled off her robe and helped her step into the tub. She emerged herself in the hot water and relaxed into the soothing frame. Then there was more silence. Elliot sat on the bathroom floor and watched her as a stern feeling of guilt crept down his spine. Olivia grabbed the soap bar and rubbed it against her wash cloth before Elliot's hands slipped over hers and took them from her. He hated when they argued, even more so when he knew the argument started over something ridiculous. So he changed the subject, hoping to address what was really going on between them.

"Let me." he said quietly. He got behind her and and drug the cloth against her back and wetting the fallen strands of hair from her loose bun. "Why didn't you tell me you had those feelings?"

"About what?"

"Olivia-"

"Because Elliot."

"Because what?"

"It was my decision. My choice, and now I have to deal with the consequences...and even if I did talk about it, I couldn't bare the thought of you thinking that it was somehow your fault."

"Why are you saying things like this Olivia? It's no one's fault. Things like that happen for a reason. It's in God's hands." Elliot said coming back around to scrub the other side of her body. He took a deep breath and frowned at the water. Olivia shook her head and scoffed at him. "What?"

"This is why. This is why I never said anything. It's because of that look on your face, right there. It says it all Elliot and you don't even realize. You don't even know what that does to me," she cried, wiping away every tear as it escaped her lids.

"Olivia please." Elliot begged. His own tears threatened to fall from his eyes. "Where is all this coming from? What happened to us? I feel like we've been putting on this, this show and I don't know what to do anymore, because I'm falling in love with the actor Liv, and I don't want to do that. I want the real thing, the whole thing, all the time and I'm not going to get that unless you're honest with me. Where is this coming from?"

This was torturing him. He couldn't understand it. One minute, they were the happy married couple, the next they were two teenagers fucking each other liked they were going to die tomorrow and the next they're arguing about something that should've never been a problem in the first place. Elliot couldn't even begin to comprehend how much they were a like, how in tune they were with one another.

They suffered together, they desired together, they laughed together, they finished each others sentences and sometimes late at night when Olivia was sleeping, Elliot would roll over just to feel her breathing, just to know she was alive, and he'd swear that their heart beat was the same. If she were the sun then he was the morning sky and if she were the moon then he was the night, the stars and the planets too. Olivia was his world. Even before when he was married to Kathy- that single morning when she walked into the precinct eager to work, he loved her, he was in love with her and every moment since then has only been proof of his feelings.

But this? This was different. Something was pulling her away from him and he didn't like it. He had wasted years without her, and the moment he made her his for the taking, he made damn sure she wouldn't be anyone else's. The slightest threat, the tiniest notion, the simplest gesture was enough to send him into a raging fit of jealousy, though you'd never know it. His therapy sessions with Huang had been productive, now as he looked over at his grieving wife, he wondered if she was the one who needed mending now.

"Liv, honey? Where is it coming from? You have to speak to me." She didn't respond immediately. She let him agonize for a bit so he could understand the magnitude of her pain, if he was so damn interested about the origin of her recent thoughts it was only fair that he suffered too.

"The night before I left...I spoke with Calvin...and he asked me if- if you and I were going to have another baby." Olivia explained as Elliot scrubbed her neck.

"And what did you say?"

"I told him that we weren't- that we couldn't...and then he asked why and I said that mommy's and daddy's are only allowed to have a certain amount of kids...he thought it was silly."

"What about you?" He asked coming around to face her.

"What?"

"Do you think it's silly?" Elliot asked as he scrubbed lower and over the slanted curve of her breast.

"Yes..." Olivia sighed.

"Then lets go see a doctor."

"What?"

"Sure, why not. There are things we can do, other things that could help if it bothers you."

"If it bothers me? Elliot this is something for us. This is something I want to give you. Don't make it about me."

"Alright, then. _We_ will schedule an appointment for next week, that way you'll be back from UC. I'm sure that what ever it is can be fixed."

"What if it can't?"

"It will be because I will go to the end of this world to give you a baby, so that we can have a bigger family, so you and I can have a little boy this time.

"Don't say that."

"Why not? Wouldn't you want-"

"Of course more than anything. I mean...don't get my hopes up. We were both there when she gave us the news.

"And we'll both be there when she gives us some more news." For the first time, in a really long time, she smiled. It was a genuine smile. A smile like the one she gave him when they got married, and the one she gave when she held the twins for the first time and Elliot smiled back because he knew that this time, she wasn't pretending.

Outside their door Nick leaned against the wall listening to everything they said. He stayed until he was sure the silence would last before drawing back and leaving the suite all together. He swallowed down the not in his throat as he walked out into the crisp air. He'd paid no mind to formalities or greetings. He was in his own world and the things that happened there were nothing to be reckoned with.

Elliot held out a towel for Olivia as she stepped out of the tub. "Thank you." Elliot scooped her up in his arms and kissed her, relishing in the new found purity of their love.

"Thank _you." _As she dried herself off, Elliot eyed her up and down. Even though they had only been apart for two days, it felt like a lifetime and given how passionate their afternoon had been he figured they'd better have a proper send off before she left the comfort of his arms for another two days and then some.

"I'm going to get dressed. Do you want to order room service or what?"

"Room service. I'll make the appointment too."

"What time does your train leave?" Elliot looked down at his watch.

"Not for another couple of hours. I'm going straight home after I leave you. Fin's holding down the fort until I get back so...not to worry."

"Also, you should call Casey. I'm pretty sure she had a place up in the poconos that her parents brought a few years ago. She invited us up a few times, but we kept getting swamped with work and the kids."

"I guess now's as good a time as ever."

After smoothing her skin with cocoa butter, Olivia slipped into a tank and some boxer shorts. Even though it was snowing outside, the hotel was trying it's darnest to heat up the place. She undid the the bun in her hair looked on approvingly as messy curls surrounded her face.

When she stepped out she found Elliot on the couch speaking into the phone as two butlers sat and placed a modest evening meal on the dining room table. Elliot spoke with an assistant nurse at their now local hospital.

"Olivia and Elliot Stabler...yes...yes...00122232456...eleven months...yes...but we'd still like to know...I know that..." The butlers left as Elliot gave an exasperated sigh. Olivia sat next to him holding a plate with grilled chicken, asparagus and rossotto. She took a bite out of one of an asparagus before kissing Elliot on the side of his head. "At home...yes...that's why I'm calling...six weeks from now?...You're kidding...On a Tuesday?" He looked at Olivia who nodded in approval. "Tuesday's perfect...you too, thanks again."

Elliot hung up the phone and relaxed back into the couch. Olivia handed him the plate as she laid down on the other end of the seat. "You're not going to eat?"

"I'm not hungry yet," Olivia said as she sucked sautéed oil from her thumb.

"Where's Nick?"

"He's not in his room. He must've left all together."

"I'm sorry...you were right." Elliot said as he cut into his meat. Olivia knew how much he hated to admit that, so she just smiled and enjoyed the moment. As she watched him she started to laugh, suddenly remembering why she loved him in the first place.

"What?" Elliot asked as he began to laugh too.

Olivia shook her head and said, "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"What did the doctor say?"

"Just that we should wait a while longer and try again later. It's been less than a year since you had the twins and Evelyn and Rosalie were big babies. You're bodies probably still traumatized. Then we talked about the damaging and we agreed that someone should check you out, six weeks from now."

Olivia sighed. _More waiting...great. _

"You know the best part about trying for a baby is getting the practice." Elliot said as he put his plate down and pulled her up to meet him. It had sounded weird to Olivia that they were actually trying. They didn't have to try for the twins, but then again those were completely different circumstances. Elliot held her in his arms as she rested against his chest. He rubbed the small of her back in tiny circles hoping to sooth her. She was wrapped in a blanket as her body sat against his. A warmth omitted between them and for the first time that day, Elliot could feel her body succumb into his.

"El?"

"Hm?"

"Do you really want to do this?"

"I want you to be happy." Elliot said as he slid his hand up her tank top.

"El-"

"Yes. I do want to do this." Olivia closed her eyes and Elliot coated her skin with small kisses. He moved slowly from her neck to her chin and finally to her lips. She moaned as she felt him eagerly pulling at her shirt. She broke the kiss to help him, before grabbing his face and pulling him in again. He sucked on her lips with such force that Olivia could feel the blood fluctuating between them. Elliot pushed her away and twisted her around so that she was lying on her stomach. She crawled to the edge of the couch on all fours as Elliot yanked her boxer shorts off.

He was so painfully hard that he had to spit into his hand and wait for his body to respond as he violently yanked away at his cock. Olivia listened to him groan behind her and impatiently pulled him to her from between her legs. Together they shoved all of Elliot's nine inch cock inside her. Olivia let out a painful gasp as he made his first thrust. She hadn't fully healed from their previous love making and her body still ached with soreness but she had wanted him and he had wanted her, and there was no end to what they were about to do to each other.

Elliot stroked her back and held on to her hips as he pounded into her. "Yes, o god yes Liv...feelsso good." Olivia panted beneath him. Her fingers gritted into the thick fabric of the couch.

"Harder El," she gasped. Her hand fell between her legs as she rubbed herself, hoping to coax out the first of her orgasms. Elliot pumped into her further and and stronger, grunting at the irritable contact.

"God Liv you're so fucking wet!" He violently pushed in and out moaning at the feeling of her on him. "Are you touching yourself baby? How's my cock feel inside you?"

Olivia whimpered at his words. "O god El you're so big. I'm so wet for you baby." Her own words had provoked her to rub faster and then very suddenly her body shook with pleasure as she came, drenching her hands and his cock as he continued to move inside her. She moaned, completely overwhelmed by him.

"O god Liv! So hot, jesus you're so tight. Fuck baby!" He slowed down and slid out of her to give her a moments rest. She was breathless. He looked at her and wondered if she would be ok. He could tell that she was aching from all of their lovemaking but it had felt so incredible and she had been so amazing. He knew it was too much so he backed away.

"Can you do it?" He asked as she laid back down on the couch.

"Mhm."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." And that was all it took. Elliot would dedicate every swollen moment to satisfy her in every way. She wanted it and so with new found confidence he pulled her back and kissed her. Once their lips smashed together, Elliot pulled her legs around him, picked her up and threw her back down on the coffee table. He vigorously kissed her all over as he shoved away the magazines and dishes that blocked her comfort. He held her boobs in his hands and he bit them, he kissed them and sucked with such force that Olivia was crying out in bittersweet pleasure. Finding her lips again, he locked their frames together, his throbbing cock threatening to invade her and without warning he did.

The each moaned out at the disruptive contact they had forced their bodies to be ordained too. Olivia had been so tight around Elliot that it had hurt to move. And Elliot had been so awfully deep inside of her that he had brought her to tears. She continuously sighed at the edge of his ear. She wanted him to remember everything she felt for him. She wanted him to remember how her body responded to his, and she wanted him to remember how her body responded to his in the wake of their love. He fucked her hard and rough, fueled by her soft moans as he ripped through her.

"O god El, it feel so good." she cried. His hands laced around her neck and caressed her swollen lips, then her throat. She moaned some more when and cried out when Elliot captured on of her nipples between his teeth. As he pounded against her, she felt her body flare up. It was a completely different sensation then any she had ever had before. She knew she wasn't ready to come but the heat-the sore wetness between her legs hurt with such pleasure that each thrust was enough to make her crumble weakly in his arms

He gripped her back for support as he boldly pushed into her. He looked into her eyes and lost himself in the warm, wet gaze the quiet pools of darkness had given him. He captured each of her moans with his lips and folded them into the secret envelopes of his kiss. When they'd parted again her breathing got heavier.

"Are you going to come for me baby?"

"No, no not yet. El, I'm not ready." Elliot spun her around and slammed her body back down on the table. Lying on her stomach she clutched on to the rims of the coffee table as he rammed her harder then he ever had before.

"Yes, Liv. Come for me. I want to feel you on me again."

"No Elliot, it hurts." She moaned out, but Elliot was too blinded by his lust for her to care. He just needed her, he waited so long foe this moment, that he was ready to kill to have her like this again. His hands cupped the curve of her hips as he pulled her closer to him. He groaned out and continued to grunt above her.

"O god yes. Fuck Liv, your so wet."

"Elliot please, slow down. Aaaah! God, Elliot."

"Don't fight it sweety, fuck me. I need you so bad Liv." He fucked her, marveling as her body continued to take him. Her legs swallowed him completely and bound the two of them at unreasonable proportions. Her body started to hunch over to the side in complete agony. The pain she felt burning in the depths of her core was a dark pleasure she couldn't describe. Elliot finally stopped and with some effort slid out of her. Olivia cried out as he left her body for the second time.

She rolled back over on her back and shook on the coffee table. She continued to cry as Elliot pulled her legs down and around him. He hooked his arms under her legs and and when he entered her again she softly moaned unable to contain the pleasure she felt in all this.

"Tell me how much you love me." He begged as he kissed the fresh tears falling from her eyes.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she whispered. Elliot consumed her with an all too devastating kiss again.

"This much?" Elliot asked one of his hands dropped in between her legs where he was scourging her. He roughly glided his full fingers against her and watched as her body arched into his thrusts.

"Elliot please...don't stop."

"Come for me Liv."

"I can't!" Elliot moved his hands away and rubbed her silky fluids against her tongue.

"Ah shit," he groaned as Olivia sucked his fingers clean. He removed his fingers and finished moving in and out at such a quickened pace he had paid no mind to Olivia's rigid panting.

"Elliot, it feels so goos," Olivia moaned as she held his body flush against hers. "O fuck, god yes."

"Come all over me baby."

"Elliot-"

"You're so tight...ah god you're so tight, fuck! Ssss more Liv."

"Elliot-"

"God my cock feels so big inside you. Take it honey."

"El-"

"FUCK ME, O god Liv, yeah baby. Spread your legs a little wider babe." Elliot moaned as he pushed inside her to the hilt.

"I'm coming!" Olivia whispered with such a deep lust that Elliot was sure that this moment with her really would last. He shuttered violently as he felt her warm fluids spill over the tenderness of his cock growing inside her. He pumped a few extra thrust in her before pulling out again. He stopped this time. She couldn't do it anymore, he wasn't even sure that he could. They panted, equally exhausted to beat to continue. Laying beside her, he was beginning to close his eyes when she kissed him. They stayed there for a moment until Elliot finally left her side and pulled his shorts back on.

He threw some clothes at Olivia and walked back into the bedroom. A few minutes later, Olivia joined him. He was curled on the edge of the bed, jerking his cock in his hands when he felt her soft lips wrap around him.

"Liv...damn it!" Elliot groaned. He pumped the tip of his cock inside her mouth while she licked the swollen bulge in her mouth. Elliot tried to force more of himself in her but Olivia spit him out with a gasp of satisfaction. She licked away the remaining precome from her lips as she straddles his waist and began to sit down on him.

She flinched as she felt him touch the wet center of her core. For a moment all movement ceased between them. She looked into his eyes and slowly pushed down, feeling every inch sink further in. Elliot clutched her hips as he grew bigger inside her. Olivia chucked her hips forward using her hand on his chest to balance out her weight. Elliot moaned beneath her as she rode him at a nice steady pace. She jerked her hips up and down with perfect rhythm. She pulled his hand up towards her breast and continued to smash against him, moaning at the feeling of their sex.

"O god yes El. It's so good baby," she whispered in a soft moan. There was no doubt that she was completely spent and probably would remain so for a while but she didn't care. She'd never been like this before. This was how she imagined it would be with Elliot- more than enough, more than too much...more than more. When he came back into her life after Jenna it felt like they had been fucking and even though no one- and I mean no one fucked like Elliot Stabler, she had no connection with him.

Even though they fit together, they were hollow. That's why it came as such a surprise when she found out she was pregnant with Evelyn and Rosalie. Then after Jason Lewis, she had been the one fucking as well. It had always been just sex- incredible sex, but just sex. This time it was different. This time they were getting into the habit of making love. They were over pleasing each other and the more Olivia thought about it, the more she realized that there was a chance that they could make it.

She snapped out of her thoughts as she felt Elliot caressing the path through her ribs and to her abdomen. She thrusted stronger against him, mesmerized by the warmth seeping between them. It drove her insane. She ran her fingers up her face and through her curls.

"Oh jesus Liv, don't stop." It was all too much for her. She closed her eyes and moved harder.

"El, I'm going to come baby."

"No no, don't stop. Stay with me Liv."

"Elliot, I can't hold it any longer!" she whimpered. They both groaned as she soaked his cock with another hot orgasm. Her body jolted too weak to go on despite Elliot's persistent thrusts. She stopped moving and leaned down into his lips. She didn't kiss him. She only brushed her lips against his before breathing in the air that escaped from his mouth.

Elliot's face was mixed with love and pain. She held his gaze for a while before collapsing onto him. Elliot used this opportunity to take her on her back again. He mindlessly fucked her to the edge again, driven by her screams.

"O god Elliot!" she moaned.

"What? My cock feels good inside you doesn't it? You can't bare the thought of me leaving you like this...open and wet."

"Elliot please-"

"Go on say it so you can make me come. You're so tight baby, just tell me."

"I love it," she gasped.

"I know, you feel so good on me baby." She clung on to him as her lips lifted to meet his thrusts.

"Deeper baby. Just a little more," Olivia begged and sealed her request with a languid kiss. She sucked his lips and explored his tongue, desperate to have all of him. He moaned on her mouth as he consented to her request.

"I'm almost there baby," Elliot promised. He fucked her and fucked and fucked her until he tightened and released. His warm cream filled Olivia to brim with a sensation of sex, pleasure and an unmistakeable feeling of love. He fell limp against her body, throbbing the last few drops of their love making deeper into the depths of her core. Both of their bodies were wet with sweat, when Elliot made his final declaration. "I love you."

"And I love you."

They kissed again one last time, both of them eager to have the upper hand until their lips accepted themselves as equals. And when their lips finally parted he kissed her all the way down to the surface of her womb. Finally contempt, Elliot rested his head firmly against her flat stomach immersed in exhaustion.

"You're shaking," he commented as he fought the urge to sleep.

"I'll be okay," she mumbled softly. And with that Elliot closed his eyes, confident that she really would be ok. They loved each other to death, to _this_ and that was all that mattered.

Halfway across town Nick Amaro wheeled a shopping cart in Target. He stumbled lazily down each isle. Holding a conspicuously hidden, half empty vodka bottle in his hand. His eyes were red with alcohol but his head was clear as day as he filled the cart. _Batteries...check...flash light...check...duck tape...check...video camera...check...towels...check...water ...check...razors...check...rope...check...vaselin e...check...shovel...check...trash bags...check._

* * *

**AND I'LL LEAVE IT AT THAT BWUAHAHAHAHAHA...No seriously that's all you guys are getting. I've already written the next chapter but I'll let your imaginations get the best of you for a few days. Until next time!**


	21. Cold

** You guys are such quiet readers hahaha, leave a review it helps! No pressure but spread the word! If you like what you read pass it on. Ok enough of that, I know you just want to get to the good stuff. So coming up next...read the beginning of the end as it takes you down on a one way elevator to hell. And if you think that freak from her negotiation is anything compared to Nick Amaro, you've got another thing coming for you. **

* * *

**DAY 3 [NIGHT]**

Elliot woke up at the sound of Nick returning to the suite. He heard a shuffle of bags, and lousy singing outside the bedroom door and instantly worried about Olivia. She was still sleeping but she was completely naked underneath him. He got up and pulled the sheets and covers over her before checking the time. He had to catch is train in an hour and all of his stuff was scattered all over the place. He quickly dressed himself and pulled his things together and back into his bag.

He pulled out a new file for Olivia and Nick and placed it on the night stand, rushing to get out of there. He double and triple checked that he had everything as he felt that he was missing something. _What else? _ He looked around on the floors and in the room until his eyes rested on Olivia. _Oh, right._ Careful not to wake her, he gently kissed her lips and left her to sleep. He wrote a small note and placed it on the file he left behind, and walked away in silence.

Closing the door behind him, Elliot stepped out into the living room. He hadn't realized what a mess he and Olivia made and apparently neither did Nick as he was passed out on the couch. Elliot cleaned up what he could and left them both in the suite, hoping he wouldn't miss his train.

**DAY 4 **

Olivia breathed in the cold, morning air with trepidation. Turning on her side, she looked for Elliot but he had gone. Since it was raining it hadn't exactly registered in her that today was a new day. It wasn't until she saw the single red rose on her pillow that she knew that her husband had indeed left. With effort she was able to move her legs from beneath the sheets as she rose on her feet, anxious to start the day. She was tired. Tired of this case, tired of the emptiness that had continued to haunt her since the night of her attack, tired of worrying about the kids and she was absolutely exhausted after the stunt she and Elliot pulled last night.

She smiled as she thought about him. The warmth of his body still lingered on hers and the single hope that he had instilled in her, survived the morning. Even though she still knew that the chances of her conceiving again were slim to none, he had still allowed her to have the idea. He had given her the power to dream about it, and wish for it one last time. As she got ready for work that morning, she found it particularly harder to get into the role of Mrs. Lopez, she just wanted to be Mrs. Stabler and come Sunday- just three days from now, she would be.

After her shower, she packed her things and looked over the case file Elliot had left behind. His note was short stating that they had to arrive before nightfall. Opening the file, she read that they would be staying at a place up at Keen Lake. Even though it was only three hours away. Olivia wanted to hit the road early so they wouldn't hit traffic. Grabbing her bags and the file she walked out into the living room expecting to see Nick having coffee, but the suite was empty. She looked around for any sign of his things but he was nowhere to be found. She waited for fifteen minutes before deciding to leave. By nine, she left the suite behind and headed down to the lobby. She called Nick on her cell but he hadn't answered. When the elevator doors opened, she immediately went to the front desk.

"Ah, Mrs. Lopez. What a lovely surprise. I take it your morning is well?" the footman greeted.

"Yes, thank you." Olivia smiled politely.

"What can I help you with today?"

"We'd like to check out. Now." Nick replied. Olivia turned to his voice with relief but given his current demeanor, she was completely uncertain about what she felt. He was dressed impeccably- dress shoes, dark jeans, black V-neck, a hint of cologne, fresh shave, perfectly gelled hair and to top it off, a very expensive pair of glasses. He kept eye contact with the concierge and ignored Olivia's presence entirely despite the look of confusion he could feel her giving him. She had been worried. He spoke like he hadn't slept in days and she could smell alcohol hot on his breath.

"Of course. Elizabeth, would you please see to it that Mr. and Mrs. Lopez are well attended to?"

"Absolutely sir," Elizabeth replied and without taking her eyes off of the small computer infront of her she asked, "Mr. and Mrs. Lopez, you do have a complimentary weekend reservation availiable in the future. Would you like to book it today?"

"That won't be necessary, we'll just be leaving the key."

"Absolutely," Elizabeth said as she politely held her hand out for the smal two by three card. "Well, you are all set. I hope you enjoyed your stay at the Ritz-Carlton. Please come again." Nick grabbed his keys from the desk and stormed away, taking Olivia's small luggage with him. He hadn't been half as polite as the uninterested clerk and he didn't seem to care either. Olivia gave the girl a small smile to make up for her partner's rude behavior and then followed him out into city streets.

When she came out Nick was standing in front of a black sports car with a mischievous grin on his face. "Do you like it?" Olivia gave a _what the hell is this_ smile to him and cooly nodded. "It's a LP 550-2 2014 Lamborghini sweet heart. It goes 320 kilos per hour in 3.2 seconds." Olivia still smiling, arched her brow. "Baby that's like Usain Bolt on wheels. " The butler near by chuckled to himself at their exchange. "I don't think she likes it Mr. Ruina."

"No sir, the lady does not. You should have gone to tiffany's," the butler responded still laughing.

"I already did that George. She's been my wife ever since." Nick said standing up to Olivia with a coy smile. He scooped her up in his forearm and kissed her. Olivia immediately pulled away, completely surprised at her partner. She had been undercover many times and painstakingly so, each of those times had been with Elliot and they never crossed the line. Even though they both wanted too, they never did and for obvious reasons. Having just seen Nick in the lobby and seeing him now was like watching the sky go from night to day. As he held her in his grasp she knew that he was incredibly unstable and she'd just prayed to God that he'd be able to pull himself together before the weekend was out.

"You look beautiful," Nick said as he held her gaze through the dark lenses of his glasses.

"Thank you," Olivia replied, eager to move from beneath their more than unprofessional stature. "We should really get on the road before we hit traffic," she said as she finally freed his embrace. She headed for the door when Nick caught her wrist and stopped her dead in her tracks. For a skinny guy, Olivia had to admit he had muscle somewhere in his small frame because as she tried to pull in the opposite direction Nick had pulled her back to him. He took off his glasses and for the first time that morning Olivia could see him, really see him for the absolute mess that he was.

His pink eyes burned with rage and anguish, but his soft expressionless face was calm, cool and collected. Olivia looked at him completely chained by his eyes. She could deal with the fear tickling in her spine and the quiet pulse of anxiety beating on her temples but the look in his eyes...like he was somehow being torn and shredded to pieces from the inside out, had taken her breath away- literally. In contrary, Nick smiled inside. He knew what he was doing to her and he was enjoying every moment of it. "You need the keys," he whispered quietly.

Olivia was so taken by his tone of voice that she couldn't respond other than a rigid blink. She took the keys from him and tried walking towards the car once more and with luck, Nick hadn't tried to pursue her again. He turned back to the butler and gave the gentleman his final tip before saying goodbye. As soon as they were in the car together, Olivia decided to take the opportunity to talk to Nick- off the record but he had beaten her to it.

"Sorry about that back there. I'm not Elliot...I know how natural you guys can be- are...how natural you guys are. To be honest, I don't think we had one person convinced that we were together. I thought that if I...played the part it'd be enough somehow." Olivia nodded, relieved that he had been totally aware of his actions which were justified as they continued on with the case, however his emotional distress was another thing entirely. Nick looked over at her and noticed the look on her face. It was a bit of a Benson trademark to be honest. Her expression was half concerned and half troubled and everyone knew that it usually meant that she was thinking about something- or rather, over thinking something.

"What's the matter?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," Olivia sighed. She waited for Nick to say something but he had been completely silent. "You know Nick, no one expects you to be a hero. This job...sometimes it can be more dangerous for people like us than it is for the survivors. It's a lot and you know one of the reasons why I think Elliot and I lasted as long as we did was because we had each other to lean on when things go too rough. This job isn't meant for one person, so if you ever need anybody to talk to or if you have something you need to get off your chest you can always talk to me," she said as she looked at him.

She wanted him to open up to her. She wasn't scared of him but the tension that stroked the pit of his emotion was bothering her. She could feel him, all of him and what ever it was that was harvesting inside of him, shook her to her core. His voice, even his silence was a bone chilling whisper. You know the kind you hear in the movies when someone's saying something really important. In a way it was kind of poetic really, but then she'd remember the unknown force that was currently infecting Nick's mind and there were no sweet words or soft songs to describe the darkness he was currently facing.

She couldn't even begin to comprehend the ideas that were consuming him and the more she tried to understand, the more it felt like she was profiling a perp. Yes, she had been doing this job for to long, and as she looked to her right and stared at the man she had trusted as a friend, the man she knew as a great father and a decent cop, she wondered if there had been something more to him.

* * *

Two and a half hours away Alexandra Cabot woke up in the distressed sheets of a perfectly cut King sized bed. She let out a tiny moan followed by a serious of giggles as she felt the hefty arm of Ryan O'Halloran lace over her waist, a daisy clenched between his teeth. "Good morning," she smiled lazily. Ryan mumbled good morning back, making Alex laugh even harder. She took to the flower from his mouth and was immediately thanked with a good morning kiss. "How did you know I liked Daisies?"

"Because I like you. In fact I like you so much that I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life finding out whether you like daisies or daffodils, or peonies or roses." Alex laughed again.

"Like sounds a lot like love O'Halloran." Alex said as she kissed his cheek.

"You should let me be the judge of that." Ryan replied pinning her back down on the bed, holding her wrists in both of his hands.

"Am I being prosecuted?" Alex teased.

"Oh no my dear!" Ryan joked with a cute attempt at a deep voice. "You are being sentenced."

"On what grounds!" Alex yelled back in a fit of laughter.

"Oh for making me fall horribly in love with you," Ryan cried as kiss and growled at her neck. "And for that I sentence you to this bed for the rest of your life! Case closed!" Ryan declared as they stumbled and rolled off the bed still laughing.

"What about coffee darling? Do you wish to execute me too?"

"I suppose not," Ryan whispered on her lips. "Fine, because of your good behavior-

"Last night?" Alex quipped with a smile.

Ryan nodded and continued, "You are to go and make coffee in the mornings and bring it back to me, in my private bed chamber where you and I will take our breakfast and watch reruns of Boardwalk Empire." Alex kissed him for being so wonderfully perfect and sat up leaving her secret boyfriend of four years on the floor.

"If someone were to bring me coffee every morning when I woke up, it would make me very happy," Alex teased as she walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen dragging the sheets behind her. She pulled out the coffee maker and filled the pot with water, then, subconsciously, she turned on the TV and grabbed a banana. She didn't realize it at first, in fact she didn't realize it all, but as she sliced the curved, yellow fruit into a bowl with yogurt and honey she had come face to face with Calo Romero. She threw in some granola to complete her parfait and started to head back to Ryan's room when it hit her.

She ran back into the kitchen and grabbed a pen and paper from her briefcase on the counter and turned the TV up. "Hey babe, do you mind making that mexican thing again tonight?" Ryan asked from the bathroom, but Alex had not responded. She sat inches away from the television screen and jotted down everything the reporter was saying on shorthand. "Babe!" _32, 38, and 26...Spanish- underline Spain...World Tour Euro Cup...UEFA...training...not Romero- Ryes...Christian Reyes, Símon Reyes, Antonello Reyes..._

"Alex?" Ryan said touching her shoulder. She jumped at his touch and came face to face with her boyfriend.

"What? What? What do you want Ryan?" Alex asked slightly annoyed and completely incoherent.

"I've been calling your name. What's going on, why are you upset?"

"It's the case. The Romero case."

"Yeah so what?"

"Calo Romero is Christian Reyes, the international football player. His two brothers, Símon and Antonello play with him. I have to call Donnelly...I have to call Elliot, oh my god I have to call Elliot," Alex frantically replied as she reached for her phone pushing past Ryan. He followed her into his bedroom and watched her pack her things.

"Woah, slow down. Just take a deep breath. Babe there's no way these guys are your perps."

"Why, because they make over five grand a year? Bullshit Ryan, I've prosecuted plenty of names.

"Alex listen to me. The reason why Christian and his brothers aren't your perps is because they're training for UEFA."

"What the hell is that?"

"It's the euro football association. All these guys do is train for the cup. No way their making pit stops in America to do human trafficking. To run an op like the on your claiming takes time they don't have. If they were your boys they'd be fired." Alex shifted uncomfortably. "Ally, it's not them."

"How can you be sure? How do you know? With careers like that, they don't need to be there. Christian could've hired someone."

"Yeah he could've but he didn't."

"You don't know that!" Alex argued.

"I do!" Ryan sighed feeling instantly guilty for having to raise his voice. They were both frustrated. "I did immigrations test at the station. Not one of their passports came up. This case has had wholes in it from the beginning Ally. Always a dead end here or a dead end there, more fraternized evidence in this one investigation then I've seen in my entire case, no witnesses-

"Ok, so what are you saying?"

"I think it's a set up."

"You can't be serious."

"Never been more in my entire life." Alex took a deep breath. She had to consider what Ryan was telling her. She looked at him and for a moment wondered if she could trust him.

"Ok..."

"Before you run off to your boss. Start from the beginning. How did you find out about the case?"

"Nick."

"The rookie?"

"He's been at SVU for years now."

"So what, I don't like him. He's still a rookie."

"After he came from undercover he brought up the case. Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Where was he?"

"I don't know. It was Cragen's last assignment. Completely confidential. He held onto it even after Elliot became captain."

"He couldn't have. His last case was the Martin scandal." Annoyed, Alex slapped her thighs and through her hands in the air. Ryan couldn't be serious. It was one thing to defend a suspect in a heinous crime but another thing entirely to accuse Don Cragen- a man she had worked with for years of lying was ridiculous. Ryan threatened everything she knew and she was livid. He pulled her arm and dragged her into his office. "Sit." She did. Leaning over, he pulled up Cragen's documentation. They both skimmed over the information and read it together in silence.

_MANHATTAN SVU - DONALD CRAGEN'S SERVICE IN ACTION IS LISTED BELOW. _

_IN THE YEAR 2014_

_ MEYER V. MARTIN _

_UNDISCLOSED_

"You see?" Alex said as she pointed to the fine print listing _UNDISCLOSED_." Ryan frowned at the strange case and clicked on it, eager and curious to know what exactly "undisclosed" was supposed to mean. The link had revealed no detail or any kind of information. Only a single ten digit number had been sitting in the upper left hand corner of the screen. Without wasting time, Ryan dialed the number on the screen and he and Alex waited for someone to answer. When a voice responded, both Alex and Ryan were flabbergasted by the audiotape.

"Good afternoon. This is the Wilderness rehab center located in St. George, Utah. Our business hours Mondays through Fridays are 10am to 11pm. Our business hours on Saturdays are 9am to 12am. If you'd like to reach the youth center press one. If you'd like to reach the adult center press two. For the front desk please hold." Ryan cut the line and leaned in on the desk.

"Rehab? That doesn't make any sense." Alex replied quietly.

"How long was Nick gone for?" Alex shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know a few weeks."

"Did he ever talk to you about the case?"

"No. Never...Cragen must've been trying to help him...but what does that mean about the case?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

Alex thought about it for a minute and then replied, "I need to go to Utah."

"Ok. You'll go to Utah. I'll book you a flight." Ryan said as he left the room.

"Get me an extra seat!" she called out.

* * *

After an hour and a half of driving in complete silence, Nick replied. "Maria's taking Zara...not to DC, not Miami- she's taking her...and I won't get the chance to see her anymore." Olivia looked over at Nick. Having been mesmerized by the snow for so long, Olivia leaned into his words, hoping she hadn't heard him correctly. His eyes were hidden behind his glasses but she could tell that they were fixed on the gray road.

His anguish was still there but she understood it now. Parent to parent. She couldn't imagine how he could possible go on without his daughter. Olivia knew the pain he was feeling better than anyone. She could never replace the feeling of anger, emptiness, hurt and betrayal Vivian Arliss had embedded in her the night she took Calvin away. But now after so much, with all of her children, she couldn't fathom the loss. The first three words he had spoken had explained everything off about him. He was opening up to her and he was going to tell her everything.

She relaxed into her seat and let out a sigh equally weighing in stress and relief. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It isn't your fault. It's not your problem...it can't be your problem. I need you to be the solution...the job- it's just like you said...'it isn't meant for one person.'"

"Whenever you need help, just ask. I'll always be here to talk," Olivia said with a taste of compassion hanging on her tongue. Nick smiled a little and said, "That's the jest of it."

"Where are they going?"

"France...she met this guy. I don't know. She decided she'd be better off with a pro ball player then a lousy new york city detective."

"But why take Zara? Can't you fight for partial custody?"

"I did, but I had gotten sick...and she won. I'm ok now. Everything's ok now, because it's all going according to plan."

_Twenty seven miles north east of their location a blonde woman had just emerged from the basement of a three story glass house, with five large Target bags._

Olivia nodded as if to reassure him that she understood, and then she asked him the one question that had undoubtedly sealed her fate. "How did you get sick?"

_She loaded a Varminter shotgun and hid it above the kitchen cabinets _

Nick put a little more pressure on the gas and eyed the speedometer as it escalated. "I remember this one night when I was a kid..."

_She removed all the knives, taking the silverware and the cooking utensils with her. _

"My father came home drunker than usual..."

_She opened the freezer and checked the temperature, completely disregarding the body sitting within it. _

"And after he beat my mother, I had come down the stairs..."

_She cleaned and polished the tools and laid them down on the tray beside the slab _

"I saw her body there...slumped on the floor...and I just stayed with her for a while..."

_She made the bed and destroyed the hot water knob. _

"The next morning, my mother was standing in the kitchen cooking breakfast like nothing happened. My father had already left, so her and I could speak freely, but that morning my mother did not speak..."

_In the living room, she set up a cell phone jammer and tried to make a call...in which she was unsuccessful _

"I'll never forget how damaged and absent she looked. So I asked her, I said, 'Mom, if you had the chance to be happy, would you take it?'..."

_She removed all the locks from the doors and nailed all the windows shut _

He made a sharp right and headed into a curved path, "She said, 'If I had the chance to run, to escape...yes. I'd take it- if it meant that I had a chance to be happy and I'd stop at nothing until I was."

_She turned off all the lights and walked out the back door where a black motorcycle was parked on the patio. She whipped her leg around the seat and started the engine _

"The next morning, I found her in the bath tub...she was dead." They turned into each slippery curve aching with adrenaline.

_She was zippering up her leather jacket and put on her gloves when her phone rang _

"After that night I knew...happiness was worth dying for." He explained as he pulled up to the gate

_She turned on the bluetooth piece in her ear and answered, "It's done...I'm on my way now to meet him and the kids. I'll call you when we're through." The response of the __correspondent had fallen silent as the engine of the motorcycle roared into a thick maze of white trees._

They got out of the car together and stood at the top of the small hill. The sun was just beginning to set behind the immaculate, three story, modern home, conspicuously hidden the deep embrace of white trees. It took Olivia's breath away. She had no idea this was where she and her partner would be continuing to work. She shivered as she thought about what Elliot did to pull something like this off. _Hadn't he mentioned something about the Poconos? _

The feds must've gotten involved. God knew they went through hell to try and pull off the most complex circumstances. Whatever the case, she didn't care. For the next seventy two hours. She could call this place home. "It's beautiful isn't it?" she thought out loud. The house, the scenery- everything. It was mesmerizing.

"I've seen better," Nick responded as he watched her standing before him.

"But it's a home...perfect for a family of three or four." Olivia said as she pictured Calvin and Leo running in the snow. Nick's knuckles turned a pale yellow as he clenched onto a tiny syringe.

"And a new baby." Nick replied as he began to walk towards her. Olivia smiled as she thought about that as well and what she and Elliot had planned to do when she returned.

"A new baby too...We should get inside, the weather's changing. Do you feel that chill?" At this point, Nick was standing directly behind her. He took in the sweet scent of her hair, intoxicating himself with everything she had. The hold she had on him was visceral- every bone in his body wanted her to the darkest hour, so when she turned into his broken stature he hadn't noticed her hair flee from his grasp. It wasn't until he heard Olivia's tremulous gasp as the thick syringe in his hand pierced her skin that he found the strength to speak again.

"Yes...death can be so cold," he whispered, as Olivia stumbled into his arms pushing the needle further in.

* * *

**...EVEN I'M SCARED! COMING UP NEXT, TWISTIER TWISTS, MORE APPEARANCES, THE HORRORS IN UTAH AND THE TERROR INSIDE THE UNDERCOVER HOUSE- and yes i do no Ohallaran is dead, well ****guess what? He's not today. Have a good one!**

**TO SEE THE IDEAL VISION FOR THE HOUSE, GOOGLE THE SEIDENBERG HOUSE...**


	22. Darkness

**Ok guys. This is it. This is where it begins. Heads up, next chapter will be extremely violent. I'll give you another warning when the time comes but...yeah you get my drift. **

* * *

**DAY 4 NIGHT **

The loud classical music woke Olivia up. Her body shuttered with tremor as it broke into it's new surroundings. Her skin frayed at the taunt fabric of the hospital gown she unknowingly wore as she moved her numb limbs.

When she opened her eyes, her blurred vision was instantly blinded by the light. She gasped in discomfort and closed her eyes again, too sensitive to see any more than a blink. She took a deep breath and instinctively tried to move her hands, when she heard the gentle rattle of chains rustling on the floor.

Olivia could feel her heart palpitating as her fingers frantically gnawed at her wrists trying to feel for some sort of restraint. Her light breathing had turned into long and heavy gasps for air when she realized that her hands were secured behind her back with iron shackles.

In panic she attempted to stretch out her feet and received the same restrictive response. She tried to rub her ankles together but was greeted by the cringing sound of iron scraping against iron. She started to fidget in her seat, straining to obtain any ounce of physical freedom she could, though it was absolutely certain that she would not be going anywhere.

The irritating rattle of the chains pranced around the floor as she tried to make noise, any noise that would redeem her from this place- this place in which she had no comprehension of. Her mind flickered wildly as she tried to think of the last thing she remembered.

_The hotel...Elliot...sleeping with Elliot...I slept with Elliot...we argued...blank...blank...blank...the kids...Donnie- Don and Frankie...the case...blank...blank...blank...blank. _That was it- nothing else. For a moment, Olivia couldn't even recall her name. She knew right away that she had obviously been drugged and she began to fear the worst. What could she have possibly gotten herself into? It disturbed her to think about it, so she tried to hit the problem straight on and start from the beginning. Though it had been a while she slipped into cop mode and put out the facts.

One: She was being held captive. Two: The last person she remembered being with, was Elliot. Three: She had been drugged...side effects included impaired vision, slight nausea, fluctuating body heat. And four: She did not who had taken her, or why, but she prayed to God she would find out soon, because she had the horrible feeling that this was not going to be an easy escape.

**A FEW HOURS EARLIER**

Alexandra Cabot walked through the doors of the 1-6 in high pursuit of Elliot Stabler. After Ryan had booked her flight, she did some research on the Reyes brothers, the case and even dug a bit into Nick's past, anxious to understand the smallest fraction of what was going on. By the time she had gotten into her car, she was able to put some pieces together but she needed to talk to Elliot before she made her next move.

She ignored Amanda and Fin's friendly greetings as she barged into Elliot's office where he was sitting across from Huang. Elliot stopped talking mid sentence when he came face to face with Alex.

"Elliot, we need to talk."

"Can it wait?"

"No, we need to talk now." Alex yelled out of breath.

"Ok...Huang give us a minute." Huang gave an understanding nod, before heading out of Elliot's office. "Sit down. What's going on? You look like shit."

"You need to put a halt on the Romero case."

"What why? I just sent Liv and Nick to a new campus. What are you talking about?"

"Something's not right." Elliot scoffed. "Elliot listen to me, ok. The case is jipped. It's not real."

"What?"

"It's a scam El." Alex waited for his reaction.

"Go on I'm listening."

Alex sighed, annoyed that she had to explain herself. She slumped into the chair that Huang had been sitting in and started from the beginning. "This morning I saw Romero on the news.

"His name is Christian Reyes. He has two brothers, Símon and Antonello, and they're pro soccer players. They've been traveling Europe for the past six months practicing for the Cup."

"High profiles run businesses over seas all the time Alex. It just raises the bar not the criminal."

"That's what I thought, until I looked into the case some more. Neither of the boys have made a trip to the states in the last eight years. We pulled up luds and passports and there's nothing indicating that they've had any relationship with anyone in the states."

"We?"

"O'hallaran."

"You spoke to Ryan about this case? You know that's out of bounds Alex!" Elliot scolded. He was frustrated. Not with Alex of course, but with himself. He had to keep pushing her to tell him more, just to lick his own wounds.

He knew this case had holes, and he had let Olivia walk into it almost completely blind. With the exception of the one witness who came into the precinct several weeks ago, there had been not one complaint or report in alliance with the case.

After four days, Olivia had been unsuccessful in getting a single lead let a lone a hair of evidence. Of course it was a scam. If Olivia couldn't spot it, who could? Elliot fumed the way he did when he lost his patience with a perp as he firmly stood beside his desk. How could he have been so stupid to let all this go?

"O'hallaran is not an inconvenience."

"I know that..." Elliot said quietly. He took a deep breath and shuffled over to the seat beside her and sat down, lividly overwhelmed. Alex was beginning to read him the way Olivia could. She knew that he had meant well by the look in his eyes. So she tried again, this time leaving out any mention of "we".

"Nick pitched the case as soon as he got back from UC. After this morning, I looked into everything. Elliot, Nick's been off duty for months. There's no way he would have access to anything related to SVU. This entire investigation might as well be driven off of something pulled out of thin air."

"I thought Cragen had him covered."

"Cragen _was_ covering him. If you look in Don's archives the last case he closed is unlisted. The only detail on file is a number belonging to a rehab center in Utah."

"Nick needed help?"

"As far as I can tell, yes. I spoke with one of the physicians who worked with him, and apparently he had multiple problems in addition to his alcohol addiction. He was transferred to a psych ward a few weeks later."

"How did we miss this?" Elliot asked as his eyes drifted to the photo of Olivia and the kids on his desk.

"I'm going to find out. I have a flight in a few hours. I want Fin to come." Elliot just nodded.

"I should call Liv..."

"Not yet. I want to know how deep this goes. I'll give you a call when we land." Elliot shifted uneasily in his chair. Alex put her hand on his knee and reasoned with him. "I'm sure it's nothing. We just want to be safe ok?" Alex said standing on her feet and walking away.

As her hand found the knob on Elliot's door he asked, "But why go through the trouble of setting us up? It doesn't make sense Alex. Why would Nick hand us a flop?"

"I don't know." She replied and walked out on the lingering silence.

"Hey blondie? What's going on?" Fin asked with slight concern as Alex withdrew from Elliot's office.

"You and I are taking a vacation. Grab you're stuff we're leaving in an hour."

**PRESENT**

"Hello? Somebody! Please, help me! Hello?" Olivia yelled. Her voice gave a sudden crack as her voice gave out into a coarse tone. Her throat was thick with thirst as she swallowed hard with what little saliva she had in her mouth.

With the exception of her tampered breathing the room had come to a complete silence as she relaxed back into the chair. She tried to open her eyes again but they were still sensitive to the light. She let out a deep sigh.

Her body was twisted in an uncomfortable position from all her failed attempts to escape, her eyes were tearing from the sensitivity and the damned music couldn't have been any the past hour or so, she had recollected some more of her memory. One by one the previous events before this unusual ordeal came rushing back to her. She remembered the heat and being sick with Frankie.

She remembered Elliot speaking to her doctor about trying to get pregnant again. She remembered Nick catching her and Elliot together, and she remembered Elliot saying that they had to go further up north to pursue Romero. Then the blankness, again. All the brain activity was exhausting. Sleep was Olivia's only outlet, seeing as though the rest of her body was restrained.

She shivered as she felt it creeping into her. She didn't want to close her eyes anymore than she had to, but as the moments wore on she had come to the conclusion that sleep was the gateway to the freedom she so desired and so she welcomed the slumber like a kind friend.

Upstairs Nick turned off the stove and prepared two trays. The first, was a meal accompanied with a single cutlery setting and a napkin. The second carried a tall syringe, a bottle of wine, one glass, and a single rose, displayed in the comfort of a small vase.

He joined the two trays together, putting the second on top and made his way downstairs into the basement. He turned the air conditioning on just a little higher before shuffling down the wooden stairs. When he reached the bottom, he typed in a small security code and waited as the door slid open. Nick stepped inside of the basement and saw Olivia for the first time in hours.

He walked towards her and pulled out a set of keys to open the first door, his pace slowing as he passed the medical suite. Then he unlocked the second door and with a loud thud he slammed it shut behind him. The heavy noise of the door woke Olivia up. She jumped at the deafening sound that now echoed in the empty space around her and the light tap of footsteps that followed after.

"Who's there?" she asked, but there was no reply. She listened as the footsteps neared her and then departed. "I need your help." Her only response was the light clatter of silverware and dishes. "Please just-" and then she felt it. A sharp pinch pained her side as a needle pierced her flesh and began to inject her with a sedative.

* * *

At exactly Four in the afternoon, Alex and Fin boarded their plane to Utah along with the other passengers. It would take them a little over six hours to get to their destination and Alex knew it was going to be a long ride. As she sat with Fin in the back of the plane, a flight attendant had come over and asked them if they needed anything.

"Just water thanks," Fin replied.

"Scotch and a bag of pretzels." Alex begged. The flight attendant nodded politely but everyone could see how he judged her order. "Unbelievable." Alex mumbled as she slumped back into her chair.

Her tussled blond hair had been pinned out of her face, and her glasses sat firmly against the bridge of her nose. She had thrown on her jeans and striped sweater as she rushed around Ryan's apartment, trying to get the precinct and hadn't paid any mind to her physical appearance- which was no doubt disheveled.

Despite what Ryan had said and what she told Elliot, Alex had her own growing suspicions and questions that needed her attention more than she needed an extra spray of perfume and the more she pondered the more frantic she became, so when she ordered the scotch she had hoped and prayed to God that the warm chilled alcohol would calm her nerves.

"Don't worry about me. I'm having a great time." Fin quipped. Alex rolled her eyes. "You want to tell me why my ass is on a six hour flight to south-west-middle of nowhere, or did I just win a get out of jail free card?"

"We're going to a psych ward to investigate Nick Amaro."

"Psych ward? What the hell was he doing there?"

"Well, he damn sure wasn't undercover."

"So he has a little withdrawal, so what. Shit happens. "

"But it doesn't smell right."

Fin chuckled in his seat and said, "Ok, Al. I just think it's a little extreme that's all."

"I don't," Alex reciprocated. "I know you guys are probably friends and everything but you and I have been working together for a long time and something's not sitting right with me. I just know, I have a gut feeling, so you have to trust me on this."

"This isn't a trust issue. I just don't want you to get frustrated when I say 'I told you so.'"

"After we get to Utah, you can tell me all you like. I'm going to need a briefing.

* * *

_Scrape, scrape, scrape, slice. _Olivia followed the gentle clatter of cutlery as her body woke to it's vivid surroundings. She moved uncomfortably in her seat and let out a deep sigh as her vision began to restore.

The first thing she saw was the corner of a table, and then the blurred figure of a man sitting in front of her. She blinked a few times until she could begin to make out the first of his features.

Nick saw her distressing movements and threw his fork and knife down on the plate. He took a sip of wine and watched her, thick with anticipation. In a few short moments, the games would begin, and as he took in every curve and slant of her body, he smiled, because knew that the winner would take all. He grinned when her eyes met his and waved like a three year old.

"Hi, Olivia," he taunted.

"Nick?" she whispered. She tried moving her hands again, assuming they would be free since she was in the presence of her partner, but to her dismay they were not. "There was someone...here...What happened?"

"It didn't happen, it's happening Olivia." Nick replied with edge.

Olivia frowned in confusion and moved her legs again, but they too were still chained. She looked back at Nick as he continued to smile at her. He read her like an open book. He could tell she was figuring things out, and by God the look on her face was priceless. She shook her head disbelievingly but she held their stare no less.

Though she couldn't quite develop a basis for her circumstances she knew what was going on. The memories of the past week had been a daze, but she could feel them with certainty- the slight events that had taken place before were warning signs, and she had missed every one of them..

"Untie me," she commanded.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, but I am glad to see you're awake. You slept for so long...I thought I was careful. I had to be, 'cause you know, I didn't want you to miss out on all the fun." Nick commented as he drove the knife into his meat and continued to eat. His words sent vivid chills down Olivia's spine. Her body went into a full state of shock as the hairs on her skin stood from her pores. Nick was careful, and that scared Olivia. It seemed like he was two steps ahead of her in this game, and he played it well.

Though every fiber in her body had wanted to breakdown and cry, only a scarce gasp had escaped her parted lips when she processed her situation. He planned this. Everything- down to the last detail. This was his game and his rules. He would expect every trick and cheat, he would know every move she made- and why not? He had made it this far. But why? Why this? And what did he want from her?

"Why?" she asked. Her voice had been so low, that her question came out as a whisper, but Nick had heard it no less. He hadn't expected her to ask so early. He figured after a few days, she'd beg him for an answer, but not now. So he had been silent, except for his unnatural red stare, which Olivia returned as possessed by his mind as he was. He pondered on what to say, just long enough to make a blistered statement. He decided to keep his response, short and to the point, but this question had been so complex no one answer would suffice, and it was in that moment that Nick Amaro decided that he would force her to ask, every single day.

"Because I love you."

Olivia frowned at the honesty in his voice. _How ironic_, she thought. All this time she trusted his lies, and in the end he had confessed a haunting truth. She rolled her and broke their connection.

"No you don't," she sighed, already physically exhausted from the whole ordeal.

Nick shrugged his shoulders and asked, "Why not? Is the idea of me loving you, so awful?"

"No, the reality of me being chained to a goddamn chair, in a fucking basement is awful." Olivia muttered, loud enough for him to hear.

Nick threw his silverware down on his plate and scoffed. He shook his head disbelievingly before abruptly rising from the table, his chair groaning across the tiled floor. He gathered the trays together again and piled them in the middle of the table. After, he approached Olivia. Getting down on his knees he toyed with her chains, and did the same to the ones on her wrists. Olivia's arms fell limp to her sides as they released from her back. Then without another word, Nick took the trays and began cleaning up the mess he made while Olivia stood on her feet and stretched her legs.

The though she was free from the chair, the iron shackles remained on her primary joints. As Nick gathered his things, Olivia took a good look at the place, already trying to devise a plan to escape. The space was huge, and it was a wonder to her why nothing they said or did echoed within the space. The four walls, the single floor, and single ceiling had been completely bare with the exception of a small drain in the middle of the floor.

The space had housed a single cot and the table set Olivia unwillingly grew too familiar with. The room was illuminated by bright white lights, making it all to easy to spot anything that dared to taint it's perfection. The walls were painted a calming off white and the silence was unmistakable for isolation and she would have been had there not been a similar section next door. The room had mirrored her own, only it was equipped with medical inventory.

Olivia stared down to her bare feet and compared the hospital gown she was wearing to the ones she could see in the other room. They were the same. "Where are my clothes?"

"You'll get them when you leave." Nick replied as he unlocked a small 8 by 8 wall closet and typed in a code.

"And when will that be?"

Nick didn't look back at her as he flashed the key in front of the glass door. "You should get sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a long day," he had said, and the moment he left the room. The lights shut down, and Olivia was left in complete darkness.

* * *

**Just want to clarify, not sure if I did a good job at describing people's reaction to Nick being a ****sociopath, but I wanted them all to be doubtful and ashamed at all the signs they missed to stress how good Nick's deception was. Don't worry, I know the scum of the earth are no match for the dream team ;)**


	23. The Games

**DAY 4 CONTINUED - NIGHT **

Leo ran and giggled down the hall half naked with Elliot stomping behind him. "Leo wait!"

"No daddy! You're bad!" Leo squealed as he ran into his parents room and waited in the doorway. Elliot continued to stomp, nearing closer and closer.

"But it isn't me, it's the claw!" Elliot protested falling in front of his delirious three year old.

"No daddy, out! Out! out!" Leo exclaimed as he patted Elliot's shoulder, failing to push him away.

"Oh, I don't know. The claw sure is hungry, for little boys named Leo!" Leo screamed in delight and tried to run but was instantly caught in Elliot's ticklish hands. "Nom, nom, nom, nom! Mmmm you taste soooo good!" Elliot said in a voice deep with joy and amusement as Leo lost his breath from laughing so hard. Elliot slammed his tiny body onto the bed and watched as he rolled over in giggles.

"Like Os and cream!"

"You taste better than Os and cream!" Elliot replied chuckling at his son's reference to Oreos and milk. He pulled his pajama top over his head and helped him step into his matching pants before letting him jump into the open covers.

"Hey Calvin! You almost done in there?"

"I'm done!" Calvin called out as he too came running into the room with his pajamas on.

"Did you take your bath?"

"Yes."

"Did you comb your hair?"

"Yes?"

"Did you brush your teeth?"

"Yes?"

"Did you cut your fingers off?"

"Yes." Elliot laughed at Calvin's face when he realized what Elliot had just asked and he laughed even harder when Calvin had actually checked to make sure that there were five on each hand.

"That explains why you didn't bring the bedtime story."

"Not huh! I put it right here, next to mom's wedding picture.

Calvin protested.

"Really? I don't see it."

"I have it daddy!" Leo giggled as he kicked his feet across the bed. He pulled the book out from under his dinosaur pillow for his father to see. Calvin smiled at his brother's mischief and jumped into bed next to him.

"This one again?" Elliot groaned playfully.

"Mommy promised she read it when she gets back." Leo explained.

"So shouldn't we wait for her?"

"Daddy we tried forever! But she takes too long." Leo whined.

"No Leo, dads right. Mom said she would so we would." Leo listened to Calvin's words but his face was turned. He stared into confusion trying to register what he was saying.

Realizing that they wouldn't be reading the "special book," Leo's face turned a bright red as his big blue eyes filled with tears.

"Lee! Come on don't cry. Besides dad can't do the silly voice like mom does." Calvin said trying to sooth his wailing brother. Elliot looked on approvingly, and decided to save him from any more guilt.

"Hey, I got an idea. Why don't I tell you how mom and I met?"

"No!" Leo cried.

"Come on Lee. It'll be so cool. Well here the story of how mom and dad met, and we'll here about uncle Munch and uncle Fin, grandpa Don."

"What about aunt Allie and Casey?"

Elliot chuckled to himself. "Don't worry buddy, I've got plenty of stories about aunt Alex and Casey, but you'll have to wait until you're older." Elliot said as he stared into his son's eyes.

As he sniffled and stop crying he couldn't help but think how cute he was, and he wished he could stay just like that forever. "On second thought you have to wait until your much older."

"Like 13." Calvin said as he threw his age out.

"More like, 31." Elliot laughed. Calvin smiled and shook his head. He had hoped to fool his dad, the way he had moments earlier. He pulled the covers back, and laid next to Leo waiting to here the story start.

"It was the twentieth of September- on a Tuesday morning...and I remember thinking something good was going to happen that day- something spectacular. And then..." Elliot snapped his fingers,"There she was. She was the beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and I didn't even catch her name at first.

"Grandpa Don had to remind me. I didn't know it then, in fact I wouldn't know it until years later, but that day, I fell in love with her, and I knew that if I were ever going to be something in this world- a cop, a dad, a friend or a husband, I would never be good at any of those things unless I was with your mother.

"She was the light of my life and my world had been like Christmas from the day we met."

"Did you get pressets?" Leo asked.

"No buddy. Mommy was my present and she's the best present ever."

"What did you like haboutter?"

"I suppose it was her eyes and the way they light up when ever you adress her...maybe it was her smile. The next time you see your mother make sure you smile back, 'cause you'll see it too."

"See what?" Calvin frowned. Olivia smiled at him all the time and he had never seen any "it" before.

"Your mothers smiles are special. She has a smile that not many come across in their lifetime and there are few who even get the chance. It's a smile that says "I believe in you. It let's you know things are going to be ok, even when you think they won't be, and it carries all the love in her heart...so you're lucky because mommy has a really big heart.

"Oh..." Calvin said as he thought about Elliot's explanation.

"But I think more than anything else, I love her laugh. Her nose wrinkles like this," Elliot said as he made an awful attempt to wrinkle his nose like Olivia. The boys frowned and giggled.

"Well, it's a lot cuter when she does it, but when she laughs its's like life is just beginning...and nothing else matter-not really." Elliot looked down at his wedding ring and smiled.

"Whattabout me, aren't I in the story?"

Elliot grinned. "You'll hear about that too someday- but when you're older."

"Much older," Calvin chimed in. They laughed at their inside joke and fell back into the covers.

"Dad! I want mommee to come home." Leo announced.

"I know kiddo. Me too."

Elliot ruffed both of their hairs and kissed them both before turning out the light. "Get some sleep guys. Tomorrows going to be a big day," and without so much as a hiccup that's exactly what they did.

* * *

Alex and Fin jumped into the back seat of a taxi, drenched from the pouring.

"Shit!" Alex gasped as she tried to shove her suitcase in the back seat with her and Fin. Fin had packed a lot lighter so he couldn't quite understand her frustration, nor her desire to pack so heavily.

She let out an exasperated sigh as she climbed in next to it and cleared some space for Fin.

"Where to?" The driver quipped.

"Just drive!" Alex barked.

"Mountain Castle motel please." Fin replied more respectively.

"Yeah, no problem." The driver said as he pulled off. Fin shot a look at Alex.

"What!"

"Calm down. Al' I'm sure everything is fine. They probably got lost. Believe me, Olivia's a perfectly capable woman. They're probably on their way there now."

"I know...oh God I'm sorry." Alex cried as she slid into the back seat, not caring about the dampness in her clothes. "I just have this...this awful feeling Fin...and she's not answering her phone, they didn't check in at the cabin...I just...I just want to know she's ok."

Alex said between tears. Her voice had been strong and stern, her face calm and serious but she cried heavily and wiped her tears from her face as they fell.

"Hey lady, if it makes you feel any better, no hard feelings for earlier," the driver said. Alex smiled and laughed feeling a little silly and over dramatic.

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Yeah, anytime."

They made it to the motel in under twenty minutes and unpacked in less than half that. After seeing Alex break down in the car, Fin had swayed to her side. It was true, he and Nick were friends, but he had known Alex for years and she wasn't just a friend- she was family. That was thing about the people in SVU. Crazy shit goes down and your blood is only as thick as the amount of time you stick around, and Alex was around for a long time. She had her own tough experiences, but so did he- hell so did everyone, but they had been there for each other, and understood the pain that family and personal friends couldn't understand.

So when Alex cracked he knew something was up. He planned to guide her and push down anything that got in their way, but more than anything else he prayed to God, that this was all just some sort of misunderstanding. He prayed that Nick hadn't been so sick enough to dig out his own grave because if he had, and anything happened to Olivia, Fin would be there to push his ass in it.

"Hey? Get anything yet?" Alex asked as she emerged from the bathroom. Her hair was freshly blow dried and her skin had carried the faint smell of light roses as she settled on the edge of Fin's bed. Fin looked at her in her pajamas and bust out laughing. "What?"

"You go to sleep looking like that?"

"Yeah? Why, what's wrong with it. It's just a tank and cotton pants."

"I'm sorry...I just." Alex rolled her eyes and smiled gently as Fin continued to laugh. He had never seen someone look attractive in their pajamas. "Remind me to arrest you for sexual harassment when we get back to New York."

"Shut up!" Alex laughed as she shoved his shoulder.

"You're hysterical," Fin said unconsciously lowering his voice as he got back in tune with his laptop.

"What's this?"

"I already pulled up Nick's back ground check like you asked but it was a little to vague for my taste."

"What do you mean?"

"Most people Nick's age have a little more than a birth certificate and a high school diploma."

"That's it? That's all you got?"

"Yeah, well they mentioned his marriage certificate with Maria and everything, but that's not something we necessarily have to waste our time with. I'm more interested in the shit he pulled over seas." Alex nodded and scanned the computer screen with him.

"Whose names are these?"

"They're anagrams, I'm trying to run them with the names of the people who served in Iraq. I got a match...Nicholas 'Cole' Marino." Alex and Fin held their breaths and clicked the link, both of them fearing the information it would intel.

* * *

**IF YOU CAN'T TAKE VIOLENCE I DO NOT SUGGEST READING THIS SECTION. SKIP NOW. THIS IS A WARNING. READ WITH CAUTION. **

* * *

**DAY 5 **

Not long after the lights had been turned on, Olivia began to wake up. She felt her wrists being yanked and she immediately shot her eyes open and came face to face with Nick. Her hands were twisted and tied in front of her in addition to her already chained wrists.

"Get up. It's time to have some fun," he said coldly.

"Is that what you tell yourself to get your rocks off in the shower?" Olivia shot back as she sat up on the mattress. Nick stared at her in silence before obnoxiously bursting into a fit of laughter. He knelt down in front of her and leaned in close to her face.

"That was good Liv," he said as he touched her thigh. Olivia hadn't moved an inch. Her body went stiff as a rock as he moved his hand further up and just before he reached the tip he stopped and gave another sinister laugh. "Well done, I must say you are a lot better at this game than I thought you'd be. I underestimated you." He whispered darkly. He moved his hand away and Olivia breathed again. Nick pulled her up by her arm and dragged her to the middle of the room.

There had been complete silence as he drug a metal chair across the tiled floor. The sharp texture gave a wretched screech that hurt Olivia's ears. She cringed until the noise came to a sudden stop. Nick sat in the chair and cleared his throat as if Olivia were saying or doing something other than giving him his full attention.

"You and I are going to play a game Olivia, but we need to go over some things before we get started. Everyday that you're here, we're going to play a game. I like to keep things interesting so the games will be different. The goal is to help you get ready for the championships. Now the championships can come as soon as next week or as late as next month, depending on how well you play. Now if I win the game..." Nick took a deep breath as he eyed her up and down. " I get a bonus, but...if you win the game I won't touch you.

"Are you following me?"

"So basically when I win you lose, and when I lose, you've lost." Olivia responded sarcastically.

Nick grinned. "Perfect. Now. The rules. Rule number one: Don't speak- not one peep unless you're spoken to. Rule number two: Don't scream, or I'll get mean. Rule number three: Don't cheat, or you won't eat. Rule number four: Never piss on the floor. And rule number five: stay alive. Do you understand?" Olivia nodded. "I can't hear you."

Olivia swallowed the knot in her throat and ever so lightly said, "Yes."

"Excellent." Nick stood from his chair and walked to the end of the room behind Olivia and came holding what looked like tape and sheets of paper. "One last thing, if you break any of those rules- specifically three and five... I will go after someone on this wall. Don't worry, I'll go easy at first, just so you get the message, but after a while I'll get restless. I will kill people. I'll slaughter them...but the blood will be on your hands." When he was done, Nick walked over to Olivia and pulled her wrists forward and brought her in front of the wall.

"If you haven't figured it out all ready, I've listed the people who matter most at the bottom and the people who don't at the top. I think it'll be interesting to see how far you get." Olivia stared at the wall and saw Dean, Huang, Cassidy, Warner, Sam Marsden, Munch, Casey, Fin, Don, Alex, Elliot, Calvin, Leo and the twins. Hot tears welled in her eyes but they had not fallen. Her friends, her family...it was tactic. She knew it, but was it real? That was the question.

"If you don't do what I say, they will die. If you try to be noble and take your own life, they will die. If you speak to me in a manner that displeases me, they will die. If you so much as look at me in a revolting way, they will die."

"You're sick.

"Oh good. There must be a cure then." He shoved a black hat in her chest and looked at her in the eye. "Pick one." Olivia twisted her hands to grab a piece of paper. After several failed attempts she successfully grabbed one. "Read it."

"Connect the dots." Nick stared at her in disbelief before snatching the card from her fingers and reading it for himself.

"You know, I really hope Elliot was worth it," Nick said, before throwing the paper on the floor. Olivia flinched at his slight gesture. He walked over to the corner of the room again and flipped a switch. The ceiling parted in two and a metal hanger lowered itself into the room. "You know what I love about this place?" It was a rhetorical question. "Is how well it can multitask. I mean, really, how many rooms multitask? I like that...I can get a lot of work done in half the time." He lights a cigarette and begins to smoke.

Nick pulled a knife from his pocket and cut the rope. Olivia's hands were already connected to the chains again like last night, so Nick simply walked away and stood at the end of the room again. This time a larger chain was present. He gave it a tug and Olivia felt her arms being tugged in opposite directions...further and further apart until she hung from the ceiling. Her stretched high above her and feet pulled from the floor, stopping at an uncompromising length. She sighed uncomfortably but her call for mercy had been silenced beneath the music Nick played, which was no doubt the voice of James Brown.

Nick turned around and with his back to her he prepared himself for the festivities. He put on a set of rings and covered his hands with gloves. He opened up a storage box and pulled out a long shredded whip. When he was done, he turned to look at her. Holding the knife in one hand and the whip in the other, he neared her. Taking the knife, he brought it close to her neck. He dragged the tip against her collar bone.

"I'll make you a deal. If you fuck me, - right now. I won't hurt you. What do you say Liv?"

"You unimaginable bastard," she muttered. He yanked her jaw in his grasp.

"Last chance," he offered bitterly, but Olivia hadn't said a word. Nick let go of her jaw stood behind her, took the knife, brought it to the collar of her hospital gown, and violently ripped it to shreds, her back revealed. "So this is how it's going to work. I'm going to ask you a question," he explained as he paced around her in circles. "If you answer it correctly, we move on to the next question, but if you don't...then I win."

Olivia looked at him, her eyes bursting with hatred. She was not the type of person to hate anyone, but as she looked into the eyes of a man she had once trusted, she realized that she was. It was strange. Strange because she recognized the same look in his eyes that had been present when she had been stalked by Richard White, assaulted by Lowell harass and Jason Leon. It was strange because she wasn't afraid of it anymore, in fact she found herself bored. Did they all have the same greedy look in their eyes? As she pondered the question she tried with effort to hold back her laughter.

A wide smile had appeared on her face, stretching from ear to ear, but Nick hadn't noticed. "A few days ago, flowers were sent to your house- red roses. How many did you receive?" Olivia hadn't responded. Nick wondered if she was thinking but he couldn't tell. "Come on Olivia, I haven't got all day." No answer. "Fine, have it your way. 1...2...3..." he stopped behind her back and ripped open her cotton hospital gown.

"23." Nick's hand fell limp at his side.

"See, you do have feelings for me. We _must_ have a mutual respect for each other, to care for one another's gestures. Are you good at math? I am. I have a question for you. In a certain country ½ of 5 = 3. If the same proportion holds, what is the value of 1/3 of 10?" No answer. "1...2..thr-"

"Four."

"A man kills his wife and many people watch him kill her. Why is he not charged for murder?"

"It was an argument."

Nick grinned. "No." No sooner had he said the two letter phrase had he burned the cigarette into her back. Olivia seethed between clenched teeth. She shut her eyes as the pain shot through her body and released through the open wounds on her back. The chains rattled as she tried to fidget away.

"A man kills his wife and many people watch him kill her. Why is he not charged for murder?"

"1..-"

"He was on TV."

"I like that answer...that's a good answer- but it's not the right one." He burned her again, and again, and again. The chains shook as she gripped onto the empty mass of air. She hissed and yelped at the sting. The tears had finally fallen from her eyes, and her body was beginning to over heat.

"A man kills his wife and many people watch him kill her. Why is he not charged for murder?" Olivia took a deep breath despite her shuttering lungs. She didn't know what to say. "Answer me!" He burneded her again. She seethed through her clenched teeth. "A man kills his wife and many people watch him kill her. Why is he not charged for murder?" She said nothing. "You're pathetic. What a fucking, stupid, whore." He spit in her face and then kissed it away. He took her jaw in his clenched fist again, leaned in, looked at her and said, "Maybe I was wrong about you. Perhaps you and Elliot are meant to be together. I mean, his head is so far up his ass he's gotta fuck your open legs just to think straight."

He tsked and pursed his lips. He groped her between the shredded fabric of the hospital gown. "How disappointing...and here I thought Maria was better than you, but your no different then she is. You fucking sluts think you can just smile pretty and everything will work out on it's own. You don't give two shits about the people who care about you, it's all a show isn't it. How can you be so selfish Olivia?" he threw her face away and began again. "A man kills his wife and many people watch him kill her. Why is he not charged for murder?"

Olivia sniffled, and managed to say, "I don't know." Nick ripped the rest of her hospital gown off and pulled out his knife. Gently he brought the blade to her skin and connected the dots until her back was a scarred mess. Olivia writhed in the chains, crying as she desperately tried to move away. Finishing the job, he stood in front of her and admired his work of art He caressed her skin and her body. "Then you are a fool...and you will lose everything." He kissed her chest and the corner of her breast. The tears streamed from Olivia's closed eyes as she gasped for air. She felt like she was being suffocated and she thought for sure she would die. He sucked the curve of her torso and kissed her abdomen, all while clinging to her torn back. Her blood seeped and dripped through his fingers onto the white floor. His lips traced the outline of her waistline and just when Olivia thought he would go further, he released her from his grasp.

She let out a deep sigh of relief. "Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet, the tests..." Nick mumbled. Olivia leaned into her shoulder, know physically spent, but Nick was only just

"beginning. Taking his place behind her he thrashed the whip at her back endlessly. Every time he won another bone chilling cry from Olivia's lips. _Bonus. _

* * *

**LAST NIGHT**

"Should you or should I?" Fin asked. Alex looked at him, too afraid to answer. "I think you should. I might bust the screen if I read something I won't like." Alex nodded and took the laptop into her arms and began to scroll down.

"Nicholas 'Cole' Marino, D.O.B., December 6th 1975, high school diploma registered to Bridge Mount St. Mary's in Queens, New York...Marino enlists into the army January of 2002...member of the twenty first battalion...combat labor...head of FIP-

"What the hell is that?"

"Foreign, intelligence program...Marino captured and imprisoned seventy eight enemy informants, and housed twelve suspected terrorists...discharged March 2008...enlisted July 2008 to washington state psychiatric hospital...patient showed signs of inconclusive reasoning, violent behavior, trouble identifying truth from lies...patient has shown signs of schizophrenia...has sporadic impulses...OCD...the list goes on and on." Alex said quietly.

"Alright we got that. I'll e-mail a copy to Munch and have him keep it until we get back. Let's get everything sorted out for tomorrow so we can get back to New York and tell Elliot...he's going to want to know."

"You don't think we should call him now?"

"The man's at home with four kids. His wife is out of town, and missing at that. He's going to need the sleep. I'll call him in the morning, don't worry about Elliot. I'll take care of him." Fin said as he slid his laptop under the mattress. Alex nodded and got into her own bed a few feet away from him.

"Hey Fin?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for trusting me."

"You would have done the same for me."

**MORNING**

"Up, up, up ,up. Get up!" Nick yelled at Olivia's body as it laid sprawled out on the floor. Her hands were twisted tightly behind her back, and she'd been changed into a fresh gown. She hadn't moved an inch, and this morning, Nick was very impatient. "Up! I said get up!" He kicked her on her side until she rolled over on her back. Olivia moaned as she felt the on comings of a pounding headache and a bruised frame.

"I made you breakfast." Nick spat. He picked Olivia's body up and flung her over his shoulder only to throw her into a nearby chair. Her back still hurt like hell so she didn't sit without discomfort. She leaned on the edge of the chair too physically exhausted to fully hold herself up, as Nick placed a tin plate and service cover before her. "It took me all night, but I think I got it just right. Go on open it. I want to see your face when you see it. It's a specialty." Nick pushed the hidden platter towards her eagerly and waited for her to move.

Olivia was so tired and so hungry she didn't care that she was giving into his charade. She just wanted to eat no matter what the hell Nick had underneath that cover. She knew he was up to something but she couldn't pin point what, and in a way it hadn't mattered to her. That food had become a means of survival, and she was determined to survive this, she was determined to see Elliot and he children again. Bracing herself she lifted her hand to rest on the tin cover. Using her knew balance she moved closer to devour any food that might have been underneath that cover, then without hesitation she removed the tin shade only to heave at her side.

Nick laughed hysterically nearby at her reaction to her first course. He had presented her with Dean Porter's head.

"Olivia don't be rude!" He laughed. "Return the favor and eat him out, you owe him that for all the times he's got down between your legs." He walked behind as she continued to heave. "In his final moments he told me all about you two. You guys had quite the fun. If I hadn't gotten so upset I would've invited him to the games, but his corpse will have to do." Olivia spat out the rest of the burning disgust in her throat and instantly revved into sobs. "Darling, don't cry. You'll see him again. I promise."

And in the mist of it all Olivia had the horrible feeling he was right.

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN! More soon promise! Determined to finish this piece...**


	24. The Playoffs

**DAY 5**

Alex and Fin woke up early to make it out to the Wilderness Rehab center. After learning of their knew discoveries from last night, they had both made this mission a top priority and until either one of them had heard from Olivia they would continue to look for her.

"You know, if things don't work out here it's still been forty eight hours." Fin commented as they pulled up the center.

"I know...I just hope that we can at least get some kind of answers."

"Yeah well, even if we don't we can have a team on her before we get back." He parked the car, and together they hopped out both nervous about what would happen next.

* * *

"Hi yes, I need to speak with someone in charge. My name is Alexandra Cabot, I'm an ADA from New York. I'm supposed to be meeting with a Dr. Kurr."

"And your friend?" The receptionist inquired.

"Insurance," Alex replied amused while Fin showed his badge.

"Of course, right this way if you please." The receptionist lead them down the hall to Dr. Kurr's office and instructed them to wait outside until she came back. "Ms. Cabot? Dr. Kurr will see you now."

Alex and Fin got up at the same time and waltzed into the Kurr's office.

"Ah, Ms. Cabot. Pleasure to finally meet you." The doctor said standing. He shook her hand and Fin's. "Detective, it's a pleasure to have you as well. How can I help you today?"

Alex pulled out a warrant and handed it to him. "That's a warrant for everything you have on Nicholas Marino. That includes, room and board, files, medical forms, any type of diagnosis you may have made on him- everything. No doctor patient confidentiality BS."

"And if I refuse?" Kurr asked as if they were intruding or disrespecting some high honored tradition, which in fact they were, however disbelievingly. "If you refuse you spend your life in prison and depending on how the rest of my week goes you'll probably be facing charges on fourth degree murder."

"Fourth degree wha..."

"Don't make this more than what it has to be doc. You give us what we need, we'll make sure your name never comes up in the mix."

Kurr slumped back into his chair absolutely flabbergasted. "Ok," he consented. "Let's take a walk."

* * *

"Pick one," demanded as he shoved the hat in her face. " Olivia was nervous to pick one. After seeing Dean she was frantic. Nick had been true to his word every step of the way. If she played, and lost, Huang's head would be next...but if she won she could save him right? Trembling she picked a tiny shred of paper and held her breath as she tried to read it. Before she could make it out, Nick snatched the piece from her hands and read it aloud.

"Hopscotch," he grinned. He walked over to his station and pulled out four big gallons of water and set them aside. They got close as he tied her hands behind her back and her feet to the chair.

Olivia stared at him in the eye as she spoke. "If anything happens to George I will-

"You'll what? What Olivia? What is so goddamn special about those people at SVU? Those people don't like you. One of them helped me do this, two of them skipped town, your own husband left you to fend for yourself for two years, I mean come on. Do you honestly think the rapist's daughter means anything to anyone? Everyone in that unit makes it their job to hunt down bad blood like yours, no body gives two shits about you Olivia.

"If I kill Huang, I'll stuff his fucking balls down his throat. I hear he likes it that way anyway. Fair enough? I'll let him know that you chose for him to end that way too. Then you and I can gab about who one American Idol last night."

Olivia shook at his words. They were dark, and evil, and they scared her to death but she had to survive this. She had to that was the one game she was determined to win. "Why are you doing this?" she asked, unafraid to show him her tears as they welled in her eyes.

"Because you took something that wasn't yours."

"Nick," Olivia sighed, "Tell me what it is. I'll give it back."

"No you won't."

"I will, I give you my word."

"No...I know you. You wouldn't give it up. You've waited to long for it. It's a shame though it would've been an interesting bargain." Nick replied as he put a black sheet over Olivia's head and tied it at her throat. "Just relax. This game is easy. All you have to do is count backwards from one million. It's 4am now. You have until 7 to finish. If you mess up you have to start all over again. Do you understand?"

Olivia nodded meekly.

"Begin."

"One million, nine hundred thousand nine hundred ninety nine, nine hundred thousand nine hundred ninety eight, nine hundred thousand nine hundred ninety seven, nine hundred thousand nine hundred ninety six," Nick opened the first of the gallons and carried it over to Olivia's tilted body. "...nine hundred thousand nine hundred ninety one." Then without hesitation he dumped the water on top of her face suffocating her from the outside in.

The chair violently shook as she tried to regain her breath, and shield herself from the water. He was trying to drown her, and he would have had he not stopped the water. Olivia coughed up the remaining spurts, and sneezed out the water clogged in her nose. She choked on thin air from breathing to quickly and tried to cough her way through. Her throat burned from all the agitation her the cuts, bruises and burns on her back were stinging.

"Looks like you'll have to start all over again." Olivia breathed heavily as she slumped into the chair. She was tired and nick was impatient. "Again!" he yelled as he kicked her chair.

"One million, nine hundred thousand nine hundred ninety nine, nine hundred thousand nine hundred ninety eight, nine hundred thousand nine hundred ninety seven, nine hundred thousand nine hundred ninety six..."

* * *

"Nicholas came to us right after he had been discharged from the war. At first we thought it was PTSD, then we thought it was deeper than that, something along the lines of schizophrenia, but it wasn't a straight explanation. There was something more, there was always more with him..." Kurr explained as they walked down the halls of the center in search of his room. "What we found was inconclusive. We never did fully diagnose him, but I can tell you this, in all my years in practice never have I nor my colleagues ever seen a case like him."

"You kept him all the way up here?" Alex asked.

"Oh yes we had to. Nicholas was violent towards the other patients. His first week here I had one patient on life support, two with broken bones and a civil suit against the center. He had to be maintained- quarantined. He was a manipulative bastard too." Kurr replied as he opened the door to his lab.

"I had doctors from all over the country to see him, even a few specialists from England. Of course, not one of them had a clue either. We did all our research in this room, and he was examined right through there." Kurr said as pointed to a massive double sided mirror giving full view to a simply decorated bedroom.

"You knew this moron was sick, and because you and your geek friends couldn't find a cure you decide to let him out in the public? Is that what you do with all your patients doc? Or just the ones that really need help?" Fin criticized.

"No, it wasn't like that. Please, you have to understand."

"Yeah well I'm doin' a whole lot of standing and you doin' a whole lot of under-explaining."

"A few years ago he started to improve. We kept him under surveillance for months...it was unexplainable. His symptoms were gone. He was coherent. We did trial after trial, test after test, and he passed them all- with flying colors, over fucking night too. Before we released him we put him back down stairs with the others."

"How'd was he?" Alex quipped.

"Perfect, but it wasn't all for show. We caught him on tape helping some of the other patients and doing little things to help the center. He was friendly and polite...so we thought why the hell not."

"So then what?" Alex pushed.

"We hadn't heard anything- for years, nothing. Then a few months ago, he walks in here looking for help."

"With what?" Fin asked.

"He never actually said, just kept going on and on about his new job...working for some paper company and one of the workers there...a woman, I think her name started with an L...Lindsey on Lily..."

"Livy?" Alex asked.

"Yup that's the one. You know her?"

"She's missing."

"My god." Kurr shuddered.

"Look, is there anyone Nick was friendly with here."

"Yeah, uh, Rocco Branzino. 224. Nick's room's next to his."

* * *

"One million seven hundred thousand eight hundred seventy three, one million seven hundred thousand eight hundred seventy two, One million seven hundred thousand eight hundred seventy one, one million seven hundred thousand eight hundred seventy, one million seven hundred thousand eight hundred sixty nine, one million seven hundred thousand eight hundred sixty eight-

"Sixty seven, sixty six, twenty four, seventy three, ninety nine, eleven, fifteen!" Nick yelled as he poured more water for on Olivia's cloaked face. He was running low, and it was only five thirty. He'd have to cut this short. "So disappointing Olivia. You know," Nick spoke as he dropped the last the almost empty gallon on the floor. "I had higher hopes for you...and I'm sure George did too. Well, would you look at the time? Seven already? And I thought we were having so much fun." Nick lied.

"Well darling, I'll tell Georgie you said hello."

"No, no wait! Please! Don't! Nick! Nick!" Olivia yelled through her sore throat. "Come back! Please...come back..." Olivia cried.

But he had already left.

* * *

"You go rattle Branzino, I want to get a look at his room." Alex said as she Fin tried to rearrange their game plan.

"Deal. Meet you here in fifteen."

* * *

"Rocco Branzino!" Fin called out.

"Who's askin?" an old man said from out the corner.

"I'm askin. I need to ask him about a mutual friend."

"Branzino don't have no friends," a big man replied from behind him.

"What's a cat like you doing in here? You sane enough to have your own groupies, you sane enough to roll the streets" Fin said turning to the bigger guy, certain that he was Branzino.

"It was a favor."

"From a friend?"

Branzino smiled, "I made him an offer he couldn't refuse."

"Right," Fin shot back sarcastically. "What do you know about Nicholas Marino?"

"Nickie? He's a fucking moron."

"I hear you guys were neighbors. He ever invite you over for coffee?"

"What the fuck do you think? Look we talked, once or twice. I wanted to know if he was interested in doing business. He wasn't, been clear ever since."

"Did he say why?"

"Why what?"

"Why he didn't want to do business with you."

"Yeah some dumb broad with a fucking pin in her chest. Olive or somethin-

"Olivia."

"Yeah. He used to walk around with his fucking hand in his pants."

"What did he say about her?"

"She's a real nice fuck. And I hear she's got a nice ass too, but that don't come from these walls."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah, kept talking kept saying he was leaving. He and the girl. Had big plans. So, I give him my blessing and then I go back to blowing someone's brains off and saying my hail maries."

"Here's my card. Let me know if you think of something else." Fin said standing.

"Oh you'll hear from me. Real soon."

* * *

"You get anything?" Fin asked as he walked in on Alex in Nick's room.

"Call CSU. We need to go." Alex informed as she stood on her feet. On Nick's bed was an execution list, several pictures of Olivia, stacks of notebooks, and plans consisting of notes and blueprints. Everything from Christian Reyes fake trafficking case, to flat out shopping lists was in that room, and having confirmed that he suspicions were true, Alexandra Cabot was frightened for her best friend.

* * *

**NO SERIOUSLY, DON'T READ THIS NEXT ONE. IT'S BAD. REALLY BAD. LIKE THE WORST YOU'VE EVER READ. IT'S SICK. DON'T READ IT...YOU WERE WARNED**

* * *

Nick returned with a pep in his step. He whistled his way past the medical room and back into Olivia's holding cell, where she was still sitting in the exact spot where he had left her earlier. Putting his things on the table, he finally gave his full attention back to Olivia and resumed his earlier activities. He removed the sheet from her head and drug her chair towards the dinner table.

After placing a fork and knife beside her golden plate, he presented her with George Huang's head. "Talk about your head on a golden platter," Nick laughed. "Bon Apetite." No matter how hard she tried, Olivia couldn't bring herself to look at him. She was breaking. She could feel it from the inside out. It was as if all her walls of defense were suddenly crashing down and there wasn't a thing she could do to stop it.

But there were other things she could stop herself from doing and not looking at George was one of them. She would not let the image of his head be the last thing she remembered of him. She swore it to herself.

"Hey?" Nick snapped his fingers in her face but she hadn't flinched. "Look at him." She wouldn't. He'd have to cut her eyes out. "Look, at him!" Nick commanded. He yanked her jaw in the twist of his hand and pulled her face down so it was directly next to George's. She could smell the thick stench of death, fresh as air but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Look at him." But she did not.

"Annoyed he kicked her chair down and she fell with an ironing thud. Olivia groaned as her body, still connected to the chair, fell in an awkward position. She gasped for air as she felt Nick untie her feet. She kicked wildly but it hadn't helped. Once he freed her hands from her back he threw her against the white tiled floor and the cold cemented wall. Throwing his right fist first, his hand came crashing down on her face. Then in retaliation he back handed her on the other side.

Olivia groaned as she felt the full force of Nick's attacks. Blood rushed down her face from her nose and spilled on her shirt, but Nick continued to smack her this way and that. He pulled her up just to push her back down and e spat in her face just to see her wet. All the while, not a single word was spoken as her blood splattered across the wall in tiny little specs. He kicked her into a slump, he opened the wounds on her back, and split her lip, and blackened her eye.

When he was done he dragged her body on the bed so she was flat on her stomach. He took off his belt and spanked her until her skin went raw. Olivia cried out, terrified from the pain. She had screamed for help, but there was no one. Absolutely no one.

"You will do what I say, where and when, exactly when I say it!" Nick screamed, as he hit her with every word he spoke. Olivia sobbed beneath him. There was only pain...she knew the feeling- well, but not like this. She hadn't felt it this strongly in a long time, and as Nick backed away from her a second time she promised herself that whatever felt in that moment, Nick would feel it a hundred times more.

Nick spanked her one more time for good measure before dropping the belt and stopping completely. "You stupid, filthy, cow."

And then he was gone. He left her in the room and busied himself with his guest upstairs.

* * *

"How is she?" The woman inquired as Nick cooly wiped the blood from his hands with a towel.

"You'll be able to see in the morning. I don't want you to go down know. She's really in no condition for a physical exam."

"In the morning?"

"She's all yours."

"Just curious though...why would you do this to her. You claim you love her and yet you help a woman who hates her."

"For the exact same reason why you've decided to help me. We've both lost someone we love. Now it's time we get them back."

"Do you honestly think she'll stay with you after everything you've done."

"I will give her no choice...You should get some sleep. I want you up early. She's easier to deal with when she hasn't much sleep."

The woman stood to take her leave but before going she said, "I hope you know that when this is all over, someone will have to take the blame."

"The offer's still in on the table." Nick shot back, expecting no reply.

* * *

**DAY 6**

Alex and Fin traveled home in silence. When they landed they drove in silence. When they arrived to the station, Don Cragen, John Munch Dana Lewis, David Haden, Casey Novak, Ryan O'Hallaran, Elizabeth Donnelly, Amanda Rollins and Elliot Stabler were waiting on standby. They had a team of people from missing persons already out looking for their lost one and since the dreadful call Alex made in Utah, not one of them had slept.

Some were worried, others concerned, many stricken with both, and amongst them one stood guilty, yet all would come together in search for their friend, their daughter and their wife.

"We'll get her back." Alex promised as he she hugged Elliot. The moment their bodies embraced, Elliot fell apart.

"Just promise she'll be ok." Elliot begged.

"She will. She'll be fine."

Everyone around them watched with tears in their eyes, because no one else could make that promise.

* * *

Rigid belts held Olivia down onto the steel slab as a stranger tended to her wounds. Olivia felt like hell, but the morphine had reduced it to a simple burning sensation.

"Please. Help me." Olivia begged the disguised doctor, but the stranger was unaffected by her plea. "Please you don't understand, my family's in danger. My husband he'll- aaah!" Olivia seethed through her teeth as the doctor tightly tied the bandaged on her foot. Then without realizing it, Olivia was shoved further down on the slab so her legs could be holstered up.

The doctor put on two gloves and took out a few utensils to exam her body. Olivia winced as she felt one of the objects gently easy in. It was cold but she hadn't a clue what would happen next. She was scared out of her mind. Why this of all things? What exactly was this person expecting to find? Just then Nick came into the room.

"She tested positive didn't she?"

"Positive for what?" Olivia panicked.

"It's still early," the familiar voice replied.

"Shit! Nick protested as he pounded his fists into the freezer near by. The doctor came up after removing the device, and took off the gloves before re positioning Olivia on the slab.

"I'm afraid I have some news Olivia," the voice said as its better parts removed the head cap to reveal a length of blonde hair and a surgical gown to reveal a perfectly normal figure in a sweater and a pair of jeans. Saving the best part for last the woman removed her mask and revealed herself to Olivia. "You're pregnant."

The air escaped Olivia's mouth when the words left the woman's mouth. It hadn't been the news of her pregnancy that startled her so but the identity of the person who had delivered her the news. It was the woman whom her husband had trusted with his heart after so many years, and bore him five amazing children. It was Kathy Stabler.


End file.
